A/N – This a fic set to what I interpret Cas was thinking in the first scene of S6 E20 The Man Who Would Be King.
Disclaimer: These characters are not mine, they all belong to CW and the producers of Supernatural.
Thanks to booksdefygravity for betaing this particular midnight rambling ages ago!
The title for this fic comes from G.I.N.A.S.F.S. by Fall Out Boy
(I also saw the idea of 'Cas is in love with humanity, and humanity is Dean' idea from someone on Tumblr (I apologize for losing their url)
If this is yours, please let me know and I'll give credit!
Anyway, read and leave a review!
The bench is cold and hard and wet, but it's better than he deserves.
They don't know that yet, of course, and he prefers it that way. But somehow, someday, they will.
They still treat him as an ally. As a friend. A brother.
Oh, if only that were true.
He wishes he could believe in a 'happy ending', as the humans call it. An ending that involves acceptance, pity, and maybe even the words "You had no other choice."
But he knows better.
The Winchesters have taught him that Fate is no kind mistress. She is cold and ruthless and takes much more often than she gives.
And it's almost physical, this pain, because he knows.
He knows the look that turns those green eyes into dark pools of pain and mistrust, into slabs of granite that makes it nearly impossible to reach him.
And pain is one thing Cas could not possibly inflict on him. Dean has already endured so much, both for the sake of Heaven and the amusement of Hell.
Cas was always known for his love of the humans his father created.
And he supposes, in a way, that he does. Love them, that is.
They fascinate him, with their hustle and bustle, their thoughts, their emotions, their ability to feel.
But Cas is in love with humanity.
He's in love with the way humanity laughs at his own jokes, even when they're not funny.
He's in love with humanity and his selfless recklessness that frustrates him to the ends of the Universe itself.
He's in love with the way humanity hums some old classic when he thinks no one can hear him.
He's in love with the way humanity smells in the morning, like wood and smoke and dust after rain.
Cas is in love with humanity, and humanity is Dean.