A/N: So, this is pretty rough, considering I just wrote it, right now. It's kinda my reaction to the filming going on in NYC... *TRIGGER WARNING*
disclaimer: I do not own glee or any of that shit.
Blaine didn't want to believe it was possible. Kurt had told him that he would never say goodbye to him. So why did he? He had to have been lying, right? But no, Kurt would never lie to Blaine. Especially after the Chandler incident. Chandler, Blaine thought, curling his lip in disgust. Chandler and Kurt were probably off singing under that stupid fountain, enjoying New York Together.
6 days, it's been 6 days since Blaine flew all the way to New York to try to get his Kurtie back. But all Kurt had done was look at Blaine with this intense look of pity and spewed some crap about following in Finn's footsteps. But Blaine didn't want to have a life without Kurt. Why? Just why?
These days he didn't even bother to gel his hair, and he hadn't showered since he got home. All he did was lay in his bed, facing the wall, and think. God, how he wished he could stop thinking. Thinking about Kurt, thinking about Jeff and Nick and how they were so perfect for each other but they would never know. Thinking about how, now that Kurt doesn't love him anymore, maybe no one would miss him if he took his own life. But how, how would he do this? He didn't want to be too messy. No, he didn't want to leave a huge mess for his Dad and Coop to have to clean up.
He couldn't shoot himself, he didn't have a gun. Nor could he slit his wrists in the bathtub and drown—his bathroom didn't have a bathtub after all, and there was no way he was going to kill himself in his Dad's room. He didn't want to risk something going wrong and paralyzing himself if he hung himself. That left only one option. Pills.
With silent tears rolling down his face, Blaine got up and walked slowly through the house, touching pictures of him and Coop, of his mom—Would his mom be waiting for him in Heaven?—he wondered. Finally he made it to his Dad's bathroom, where the medicine cabinet was located. He opened the door and grabbed the little orange bottle of sleeping pills his Dad took occasionally.
The walk back to his room was slower than the walk from. On his way back he stopped in the kitchen to grab some paper. Back in his room he took a seat at his desk and began to write. First, an email to Kurt, telling him how much he loved him, and how he was sorry, and that he hoped Kurt could forgive him. Next, a letter to Cooper and his dad, and finally, a letter to Nick and Jeff. He hoped that the two would get their act together soon and open their eyes. Saddened more with the realization that he wouldn't be there to hear about the very first Niff kiss, Blaine opened the bottle.
Three little white pills, one sob. Six little white pills, two sobs plus an effort to shower quickly. Eleven little white pills, changing into Kurt's favorite outfit. Twenty little white pills, a foggy haze. Twenty two little white pills, clutching his teddy bear. And finally, Twenty seven little white pills, darkness… and voices? He wished they would go away. But, the voices were starting to fade. Was that a light he could see? It was so warm, so calm. Blaine suddenly felt happy again.
When Blaine's father had called Nick Duval and asked him and Jeff to go and Check on Blaine, the two thought it would be easy. All Blaine'd been doing lately was lay in his bed, silent.
The house was unlocked and silent when they entered. Literally no sound, what-so-ever. The pair shared a look before quickly taking the stairs to Blaine's room.
"Blaine, you okay buddy?" Jeff asked, knocking, before entering the room. Nick was stunned when he collided with Jeff's back.
"Jeff, why'd you stop?" Nick asked.
"BLAINE!" Jeff yelled. Tearing around his lover, Nick gasped. There, lying on his bed, clutching his teddy bear, was Blaine. An empty bottle lying beside him.
"Jeff call 911." Nick said quickly. Through his tears Jeff did as he was told, whipping out his phone and dialing. Nick, meanwhile was on the phone with Mr. Anderson.
They were too late. That's what the doctor said. When the paramedics arrived it was a constant fight to keep Blaine alive, but they were too late. If they hadn't stopped for that copy of Rent on blue-ray, they could have saved Blaine.
Telling the Warblers was the hardest thing the two had ever done, other than the funeral. Knowing that Blaine was transferring back to Dalton this year made it so much worse. Kurt showed up, dressed head to toe in black, silent tears running down his face. Nick wondered what had happened, but he never asked.
It took the boys three weeks to even look at the letter addressed to them. And when it did, it said two things: I'm sorry and Just kiss already. Neither were ever the same.
A/N: Sorry, don't hate me.