Author's Note:This is in response to a weekly challenge at the LJ Community "swooping_is_bad": The Warden finds a book banned by the Chantry, detailing some mighty interesting things...
"The Qunari Stomp," Kaillan read, turning her head to examine the accompanying picture.
Zevran nodded, "Oh yes, that's a classic. Basically, you stand over your partner like this, you see?" He stood and demonstrated the pose.
"And then you grab her hair…or his…whatever the case may be, and she arches her back and you lean back like so…"
"Hmph," Sten said. "The noisy painted one is correct."
Leliana and Kallian looked at each other and burst out laughing. They'd discovered the Riviani book in one of the Templar's quarters at the Circle Tower, and had been peeking looks at it for days. Finally Zevran had asked what the fuss was all about and they told him—between fits of giggles—that it was apparently an outlawed book of sex positions. He'd been completely blasé at the revelation, and asked them if there was anything new or interesting in there.
They had been trying to stump him for the better part of an hour. It seemed he knew every position they named.
"The Korcari Snowstorm," Leliana called out.
"Well for that, I'll need at least two volunteers to help me demonstrate," Zevran chuckled and looked around. "And two high backed chairs, which we are sadly lacking."
Leliana and Kallian looked at the picture together and again burst into fits of giggles.
"How do you know all of these?" Leliana cried.
Zevran shrugged simply. "I have told you time and again, my lovely ladies," he said. "I am a man of great experience in the arts of love. There is little you could think of that I have not already experienced." He crossed his arms and smiled, satisfied.
Kallian slammed the book shut.
"Alright fine," she announced. "Into my tent with you." She stood up and threw the book at Leliana, who burst into more peals of laughter.
Not looking to see if Zevran followed, Kallian strode confidently to her tent, removing her thick leather belt as she walked. Finally when she reached the entrance she paused and looked back over her shoulder at the blonde elf. "Coming?" she purred. "Don't make me ask again." She ducked into the tent.
Zevran smiled to himself as he walked over to Kallian's tent. Thank the Maker for the Chantry,he thought, for producing repressed little Templar boys who all seemed to own a copy ofThe Ribald Riviani.
Opening the tent flap and seeing Kallian reclined on her bedroll within, Zevran gave a deep sigh. And thank the Maker for letting my find my own copy,he grinned to himself before dropping on his hands and knees and crawling toward waiting Grey Warden.