CMA Legaleze: I hereby and heretofore certify that I do not own the Fosters; I am not being paid anything for writing this or publishing this to this site. All I own is the computer it is written on.
Something in the atmosphere wasn't right, and Lena could tell Stef noticed it, too. She sat at the dinner table watching her children as they talked about their days and plans for the weekend, smiling at appropriate times, giggling at some antic or another. However, there was a stiffness about it that was barely noticeable.
"Sorry!" Callie said as she rushed into the kitchen, grabbing her plate and heading to the stove to put food on it.
"What happened?" Stef asked as she poured her daughter a glass of water.
"There was a pretty bad accident on Ocean, and Joe got stuck in the middle of traffic from it." Callie sat down at the table, smiling thanks to Stef for the water.
"What did that have to do with you?
"He was my relief. I couldn't leave before he got there."
"Ah. Busy day?" And dinner continued as it was before.
Maybe she was imagining it – Stef seemed to calm a bit. They'd been missing Callie. Maybe that was what was bugging her.
*~THE FOSTERS~*
Callie lay awake staring at her ceiling, listening to Mariana's breathing. It had been long past lights-out, but Callie had a feeling she couldn't quite shake.
She glanced over at her phone and internally groaned. It was 1:00 AM. Tired of just lying on the bed, she got up and quietly made her way downstairs. She looked around, taking in her surroundings as though she was seeing it all for the first time.
Her eyes fell on a picture hanging on the wall. The picture was taken at Girls United, the day that Callie decided once and for all that she wanted a family – this family. Stef and Lena surrounded her on either side, holding her tightly against them – her first official Mama Sandwich. All three of them had tears in their eyes.
She reached up and stroked a finger down each of her moms' faces, and that feeling she'd been having intensified. She felt tears prick her eyes, and she took a deep breath to try and calm them. Why was she suddenly feeling so depressed? Why did she suddenly get this great sense of loss?
Callie took the picture down and headed into the kitchen, sitting down at the island. She stared at it, feeling that loss once again, but this time, she let the tears fall.
"Callie?"
She wouldn't dare look up at the voice. She cleared her throat before answering, "Yeah. Sorry."
"Everything all right?"
Still looking at the picture, she nodded, but her voice seemed stuck in her throat.
She felt a hand on her shoulder before hearing the stool next to her scrape on the floor. She felt herself being pulled toward a body and brunette curls entered her line of vision.
"What's that?" Lena asked as she looked toward the picture frame. Then, she smiled as she saw the picture. "That was a good day – one of the best days of my life."
Callie nodded, two lone tears escaping her eyes and her breath catching in her throat. She felt Lena pull back.
"Honey, what's the matter?"
"I don't know," Callie squeaked as she set the picture down on the table before wiping her eyes and taking a deep breath. She pulled away from Lena and stood. "Maybe I'm just tired." She picked up the frame and began leaving the kitchen.
"Callie—" Lena called gently, but Callie didn't turn around. One look in Lena's eyes, and she'd totally lose it.
*~THE FOSTERS~*
Stef sat at the kitchen island as the sun broke over the horizon, nursing a cup of coffee. Today was her day off, but she usually ended up waking up early anyway to start breakfast.
However, the late-night conversation she had with Lena once her wife came back to bed kept her up the better portion of the rest of the night. The fact that Lena was worried – that fact, alone – worried Stef.
Lena was a worrier by nature, Stef knew, but it was rare that her worries were unfounded, especially when it came to their kids.
"She was crying, Stef," she had said.
That was enough to wake the cop. Callie didn't cry – not in front of people, anyway. Stef was the only one of the two mothers to ever see her cry, and if Lena saw it, something was definitely up.
"I'll talk to her," was how Stef ended the conversation, holding her wife close, trying to comfort her as much as she could.
Now, she sat at the kitchen island, deciding cereal was a good enough breakfast, waiting for her older daughter to materialize.
She heard footsteps working their way down the stairs and glanced into the hallway to see Mariana coming down.
"Morning, Miss Thing," she said as the young Latina joined her and poured herself a bowl of Toasted O's.
"Morning," she answered her mother, though it came out more like a grump.
"Why do lovely this morning?" Stef smirked at the look Mariana threw at her.
"You try sleeping with someone tossing and turning and moving all night. You'd be grumpy, too." The young teen sighed. "I think she's having nightmares again. The last time this happened was right after Liam started showing up."
Stef smiled reassuringly at her daughter – or she hoped it was reassuring, at least. She remembered the nights she would sit up with her restless foster daughter while she processed everything she was feeling once she confessed what had happened to her. She remembered the tears the girl had choked back. She remembered her own frustration at herself for not knowing how to help her.
But she smiled at Mariana.
"Don't worry about your sister, Love," Stef said as she stood and took her coffee mug to the sink. As she turned back around, she continued, "Mama and I have her." She walked around to her daughter and kissed her head. "Eat your breakfast. Is Callie up?"
"Yeah, kind of. She seems really out of it."
"Thanks, Baby." Stef kissed her head once more before leaving to go upstairs.
She approached her daughters' room and peered inside. Callie was sitting on her bed, propped up by the wall, eyes closed. She was okay for the moment, so Stef went into her room to where her wife was putting the finishing touches on her make-up.
"I'm going to keep Callie home with me today," Stef told her wife.
Lena gave her a knowing look.
"You think something's up." It was a statement, not a question.
"I don't know anything other than she's sitting against her wall asleep." Stef sat down on the edge of their tub. "Mariana thinks she's having nightmares again, and if she is…"
Lena turned to face her wife. "Do you think I should stay, too?"
Stef shook her head. "I don't think so, Love. We'll be fine."
The brunette nodded. "But call me at lunchtime, please? I want to know what's happening."
Stef smiled as she stood and kissed her wife. "I will," and with that, she left her bathroom and went back to the girls' room. Slowly, she approached the young woman and laid her down, pulling off her shoes and tucking the blanket around her.
She then sat on the bed, watching the girl sleep for a few minutes before heading downstairs to bid the rest of the family farewell. Once everyone was gone, she went back upstairs to climb into Mariana's bed and read a few articles on her phone. If Callie was having nightmares again, Stef wanted to be close.
*~THE FOSTERS~*
She slammed the grant proposal down on the desk after reading the same paragraph five times and it still didn't make any sense. It was nearly nine o'clock, and she hadn't heard anything from Stef on how Callie was. She did say lunchtime, but she couldn't shake this dread that had built up in the pit of her stomach.
She opened a new text message to her wife.
How is she?
Doing okay so far, came Stef's reply shortly after. Still sleeping.
Okay, keep me posted.
I will, Love. Try not to worry.
Lena only smiled at her wife's last comment.
"Mama?" came a voice from her door. She looked up into the eyes of her youngest.
"Hi, Baby," she said as she waved him in. "What's going on? Why aren't you in class?"
"My stomach's kind of hurting." Jude shrugged as he closed her office door and walked over to his mother's side.
Lena reached up and placed her hand on his forehead.
"You're not warm," she observed as she pulled him to her. "Worried about Callie?"
Jude looked down, but nodded.
Lena smiled. Jude was always so easy to read.
"You know she's at home with Mom, right? Mom's taking great care of her."
Jude nodded again. "I know."
Lena smiled at her youngest. "Then, why don't you head back to class, and as soon as Mom checks in with me, I'll fill you in on your sister, all right?"
"Can I stay here for a little while – just until my stomach settles?"
Lena picked up the proposal and headed over to the couch in her office.
"Fifteen minutes, Bud. Then, back to class." She sat down on one end of the couch, inviting Jude to lay his head in her lap. She went back to reading the proposal while combing her fingers through her son's short hair.
Truth be told, she thrived on moments like these where she could be a mom and Vice Principal at the same time. There was a satisfaction in knowing she could be there to comfort them at any point in the day.
Two knocks came on the door a few seconds before it opened, and Monte stuck her head in.
"Hey, Lena," she started but stopped once she saw Jude. "Oh, sorry. Everything okay?"
"Oh, yeah," Lena answered as she glanced down at her son, "worried stomach. Callie's out sick."
"Aww." Monte sat on the coffee table and looked Jude in the eye. "I'm sure Callie's going to be fine. Probably just caught the bug that's going around."
"I'm sure," Lena commented before Jude could say anything. Jude was young, but Lena knew he knew Callie wasn't sick.
Monte smiled. "How's the proposal?"
"I've honestly barely started. I'll have it to you by lunch."
Monte nodded. "Sounds good." She stood up and left the office, wishing Jude well.
*~THE FOSTERS~*
Her first thought as she drifted back into consciousness was that shew as uncomfortable. Her second was why she was coming to begin with. The last thing she remembered was sitting against her wall to relax a minute, and hopefully avoid any questioning glances from Lena and Stef, but now, she was lying down, her head buried in her pillow, covered by her blanket.
She looked up as she heard footsteps at the door. She threw a blank stare at the officer as Stef smiled back at her.
Stef walked over to the bed and knelt down, brushing hair off of Callie's face.
"Morning, Love," Stef said. "Sleep well?"
Callie only nodded slightly.
"You feeling okay, my love?" Stef's brow creased as she continued combing her fingers through Callie's hair.
Again, Callie only nodded.
"You'd tell me if something was wrong, right? Like if you'd started having nightmares again?"
This time, the teen didn't respond with a nod. Instead, she turned her head away to look at the open door.
Callie felt the bed shift as Stef moved to the edge of the bed. There was a sudden weight on her back as Stef leaned down and hugged the girl to her.
"I don't know what's going on, Love," Stef whispered into Callie's ear, "but Mama and I love you, and we want to help you through whatever is bothering you. You want to tell me what that is?"
Callie shrugged.
"No, huh?" Stef kissed the back of her daughter's head.
"No," Callie said as she began turning over to face her mother. Stef sat up and smiled down at the girl. "I don't know."
"You don't know?"
Callie shook her head. How did she explain this sense of loss – this loneliness – that she's been feeling without hurting Stef's feelings? Both moms had been her rock over the last few months, but she still felt left in the world alone. This isn't something she could understand, so how did she explain it to her mother?
Plus, she's being adopted in a week; she should be ecstatic, which makes this all the more confusing.
"What's on your mind, Baby?" Stef's voice cut into her thoughts. Callie looked down at her hands and notices that Stef had taken them, creating this connection between them.
"Nothing." Callie shook her head.
"Okay." Nodding, Stef stood up and patted Callie's leg. "You should get some food in you." The mother reached down and pulled Callie to her feet. "Mama wants me to call her at lunchtime, and if I don't tell her you've at least eaten, she's liable to come home early and kill me." She began heading out of the room. "Besides, maybe you'll feel a little better once you have some food in your stomach."
Callie followed her mom downstairs and into the kitchen where there were two sandwiches sitting on the table. She sat down at one of them and began nibbling on it.
"Water or juice?"
Callie startled a bit. "Hm?"
Stef smiled back at her. "To drink, Love. Water or juice?"
"Oh. Water, please."
Stef put a glass of water down in front of Callie before pouring herself one and joining the girl at the kitchen island.
Callie took a drink, watching Stef carefully. the woman ha something up her sleeve, Callie knew. Stef always had a way to make the teen talk, and there was something about that fact made her nervous.
*~THE FOSTERS~*
Lena pulled into her driveway and sat for a moment. After Jude had gone back to class, Monte had come back to her office, giving her permission to take an extended lunch if she wanted to go home and check on Callie - an opportunity she gladly took. She wasn't sure why, but she had the sudden need to be near her daughter, like if she took too much time away, she may not be there when she gets back.
Her morning had been consumed with this thought-provoking worry over her girl, but she surprised herself when she finished the final edit of the grant proposal. After handing it over to her boss, she mentioned she was taking an extended lunch and left the building.
Now, she was home, and a part of her was afraid of what she might find inside. She knew her wife was perfectly capable of taking care of their children, but as much as she loved the woman, Stef wasn't the most subtle of parents. Would Callie actually be feeling better after spending the morning with Stef, or would she be feeling worse?
Steeling herself to believe the former, Lena got out of her car and journeyed inside. The house was practically devoid of life; no one was in the living room, dining room, or kitchen. She stood at the sink and smiled as she glanced outside into the backyard.
Stef was sitting on a blanket in the grass, Callie's head in her lap. Every so often, Callie's arm would point to the sky, and Stef would look up and either agree or laugh a little. Once or twice, Stef would point to the sky and make a comment to which Callie would reciprocate.
This was how she loved to see Callie. She loved seeing Callie so relaxed, and she wished the girl could remain that way, but Lena knew Callie wouldn't begin to permanently relax until her adoption was final. One more week until the teen who'd come to her with a bruised face and bloody lip would finally be hers.
She turned back to the refrigerator to pull out the pitcher of water and poured herself a glass. When the back door opened, she jumped slightly before turning and seeing her wife coming inside.
"Lena?" Stef said, a bit confused. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, but what are you doing here?"
"I - uh - took an extended lunch," Lena replied as she smiled at the confusion on her wife's face. "I wanted to check on Callie."
"Oh?"
"Yeah." Lena sat down on one of the stools, taking a drink from her glass. "How is she?"
Stef sat on the stool next to her wife. "Well," she started, "she's overwhelmed, Lena. I think she just needs this adoption to be over and final before something else happens."
Lena took a deep breath. "One more week, and she'll be ours - legally. No more guesswork; no more limbo; no more waiting."
"Yeah." Stef nodded. "Now, it's just getting through that week." She reached out and took Lena's hand. "I think we should keep an eye on her though, Love."
Lena laced her fingers through her wife's. "Why?"
"Let's just call it a gut feeling. I can't explain it, but I'm not taking any chances, either." When Lena only nodded, Stef continued, "So, uh, go on outside. I'm sure she'd love to see you."
The brunette nodded again and stood, pecking Stef on the lips before heading outside to the girl.
"Hey, Sweetheart," she said as she approached the blanket. "Mind if I join you?"
Callie sat up, surprised.
"Hi," she said. "Um, sure." Once Lena was seated, she turned her mother. "Is it that late all ready?"
Lena laughed a little. "No, no," she answered. "I took an extended lunch. I wanted to see how you were feeling. You doing okay?"
"Uh, yeah. I'm okay."
"You sure?"
"Mmhmm." Callie nodded slightly as she began playing with the edge of the blanket.
Lena watched as Callie avoided her eyes. Something about that unnerved the mother, so she reached out and placed a hand on Callie's shoulder.
"Sweetheart," Lena started, "will you look at me, please?" It took the girl a few minutes, but Callie eventually met Lena's gaze. Lena's breath caught in her throat as she realized what Stef was talking about. The girl's eyes held a sorrow and helplessness so deep that Lena felt the abyss open in her own gut, swallowing her heart.
"Honey," she continued, "I know you and I aren't as close as I know I would like us to be, but you don't have to hide from me. I'm not going to walk away from you; I'm not going to leave you to figure things out on your own. I love you so, so much, and I hate seeing you like this. You can talk to me about anything; you know that, right?"
Callie nodded slightly, giving her mother a quick smile, which Lena reciprocated before pulling her in slightly and placing a series of kisses on her forehead. She pulled back and was pleasantly surprised when Callie moved closer to Lena and leaned her head on the matriarch's shoulder.
Lena placed another kiss on her daughter's head. Her worries hadn't been abated, as she'd hoped they would; rather, they were intensified. Stef was right; they were going to have to keep a close watch on the girl.
A/N: Hello, all! Thanks for checking out my new Fosters story. For those of you who are reading "What If", I will be continuing it as soon as I can. I've had a few hiccups that Life's thrown at me, and it's left me with virtually no inspiration what-so-ever for the next "story" of "What If". I am working on it, however. With any luck, the next few days will be easier, and I'll actually be able to finish writing the next installment, and it should be updated by the weekend. Fingers crossed!