"Love, love me do
You know I love you
I'll always be true
So please love me do
Whoa love me do...."
I listen to the Beatles like I have, it seems, just about every day since I left Sunnydale for the last time, and I remember how I used to love their early songs. Of course, I remind myself, that's because those songs remind me of Willow.
If there's anything that can cause me to show emotion, it's Willow. All of the pendants and talismans I wear in order to keep my wolf side from emerging mean nothing when I'm around her. The last few months have been especially difficult, as something inside me keeps telling me that something's wrong with Willow. During a set in Cincinnati, I began sobbing for no reason other than a wave of grief hitting me like a gust of hot air. The guys were as shocked as I, but they knew just as well as I what it meant: Willow.
We're ten minutes outside of LA. When I say "we", I mean the group. About 10 months ago, I had run into the other Dingoes in Cleveland, and it was just like old times. Within a month, I was back at lead guitar, and we were touring the country, trying very much to get noticed, and trying even harder not to suck.
The group has this bus that we use to get around in. A tour bus. We've got a tour bus. Devon loves it, especially since he gets an insane amount of women just by showing them our messy tour bus. Naturally, he spends the most time driving it.
My "space" is about 7 rows of seats back. Since I sold my van as soon as I re-joined the Dingoes, my part of the bus has everything that used to be in it. I rarely notice much of it, except a picture of Willow from my last summer with her. I can't let go of her, even after two years. I lost her when I slept with Veruca, and now she belongs to Tara. I tell myself that constantly, but yet.....
I get another feeling, and I know I'm going to lose control. "Stop the bus!" I growl to Devon, and when he looks at me, his face quickly shifts from a look of puzzlement to one of fear as he sees the wolf begin to take over.
The bus pulls over quickly as I stumble out, fighting for the control that I've already lost. The reason for the change hits me like some sort of vision as the change completes itself and I lose awareness: Tara has just died.