Hello people readers,

So Fanfiction, Batman fanfiction. Pfft I'm awkward and ready for this. I hope this don't come off Mary-sue-ish? XD anyways this is a story of being a girl hench-woman for the Joker.

I don't know if there will be love in this yet, but Joker and she may end up friends, or he'll treat her like the rest, like they are nothing.

Carly is a Joker Henchman, goon or whatever.

Enjoy! Tell me if you like!

I'm Carly Simon, one of Joker's many henchman. Except I'm better I'm a hench-woman, and the only one. You may think that is A) Ridicules 'cause I'll die at the hands of The Joker, or B) Really cool. I guess it depends on who you are.

How I obtained this position was very hard, and if you want the story I'll tell you, I tell people all the time.

"Let's have some try outs," I heard Joker say as he broke a chair leg over his knee looking over the two sharp ends. Joker certainly lived up to his scary reputation. Looking at the purple and green clothed man, gave me chills.

There was me, and one other man. He was large, much taller than I. I stood no chance, and the amused look the Joker and him were giving me, made me realize they knew I stood no chance in hell, in beating this man. The man across from me gave a chuckle and looked to the Joker motioning to me like 'come on..'

Joker's laughter made me jump as he dropped the chair leg turned weapons on the floor and looked to us both before leaving his 'office'.

The man looked at me, didn't he say his name was Lucas? I don't know. I swallowed thickly as I quickly ducked down and picked up both chair legs before he could. I jumped back as the tall bear like man grabbed at me.

"You see, size doesn't matter in a fight, neither does speed…it's about strategy," I said, as he laughed at me. "But I guess for a bear of a man, like you…size is kind of an advantage…" I said slowly. He was watching me.

"You're smart, it's a shame you have to die…" He said he jumped at me, grabbing my hair, I took the weapon and pushed it into his side roughly. I wasn't strong, but I somehow managed to push the chair leg into his side all the way.

"I am smart, I mainly hack into computer mainframes…" I said awkwardly, cringing at the blood. "I may not be tough, but I do what I have to, too survive."

The man let go of my hair after a few seconds, and fell to the ground. He wasn't dead, I knew he would in a few minutes though. "Bitch," He muttered blood sputtering out of his mouth. He pulled the chair leg out of his side and glared up at me. I kneeled down by him.

"In a few moments, you're going to die…you're organs are slowly shutting down and you're bleeding internally," I said slowly and looked at the other chair leg in my hand. "I'm not one to be cruel, I won't let you suffer, Bear." I said deciding his nick name was Bear. I placed the sharp end of the stick at his neck. "Good bye.." I whispered and pushed the chair leg all the way through his neck.

It was that moment, the Joker came in. he had been watching from the window in the door. He was laughing manically. I stood up wiping blood off my hands.

"I like you, there's fight in you…" Joker sad walking towards me. He was taller than me. "I like that.." He broke into laughter. "I thought for sure, I was going to have-ta wipe your...uh blood off the floors and walls," He said with laughter. That laughter sent chills up and down my spine. "What did you say your name was again? Carl?," He asked tilting his head like an animal.

"Carly," I said looking down avoiding his eye contact.

That was 6 months ago, and so far I have survived. Sure I may piss the Joker off sometimes, I've gotten my fair share of kicks to the side, and punches to the face. I don't get special treatment just because I'm a woman, I'm treated just like the men.

I was in my room at the moment. Yes, I have my own room. Joker gave it to me, because being the only girl around 6-9 men at a time is bad…But if Joker ever brought in another girl, I'd have to share my room. Which I wouldn't mind of course. My room wasn't special except the fact I had a closet (Which I brought from my old apartment.) and I had my own bathroom, which Joker uses occasionally when the henchmen are using the other one. Joker's bathroom isn't working at the moment.

It was morning, and I had a long list of things to do, that Joker leaves taped to my door. I rarely see the Joker, he's always busy. I went to the bathroom first. I stopped at the mirror.

I'm not one of those people who think they are ugly. Every girl who puts on make-up feel like they look pretty. I'm not a narcissist, but I do indeed think I am pretty.

I have brown thick lightly curly hair that falls to below breasts, my features are soft, my skin kind of an olive tone, and my eyes light blue. I am scrawny though, and if you guessed it…yes I was the scrawny nerd girl in high school with glasses and braces, thank god senior year I went through a dramatic change and boobs grew over the summer, senior year I was the pretty nerd, who didn't change her personality.

I grabbed my nerdy looking glasses off the bathroom sink and put them on as I ran my fingers through my hair getting out the knots. Yawning I picked up my brush and began brushing my hair. Soon I sat my brush back down and grabbed a ponytail, pulling my hair up now revealing the anarchy symbol on my collarbone.

I got it because…well actually I don't know it was a few days after I started working for the Joker and was going through that 'Fuck yeah, I'm badass' stage. Let's just say I wasn't badass while I was getting that tattoo.

I grabbed my toothbrush and put tooth paste on it sticking the brush in my mouth as I walked out of the bathroom. I pulled my white tank top off and threw it on the bed, grabbing my bra and putting it on one handed I took off my grey sweat pants, and left those on the floor as I walked to my closet wardrobe thing, pulling out my black skinny jeans, and my grey t-shirt with the cat on them wearing glasses identical to mine, and then my black vest that I hide my gun and knife in it. I laid those on my bed, moving my tooth brush from side to side in my mouth before walking to the bathroom and spitting out the paste and setting my tooth brush down. I walked back out to my clothes and got dressed quickly

I grabbed my combat boots from under the bed. And slid them buckling the sides, before standing up and going to the bathroom and putting on makeup.

I don't put on a lot of makeup, just liquid cover up, powder foundation, eyeliner and mascara and then I'm good. I put my glasses back on and went over into my room and grab my laptop from under my bed.

I've said before I work with computers, I could have worked for the FBI, or the CIA, but instead of doing what I learned from high school for good, I used it for bad things. Yeah, I do sleep at night, because in today's society we're filled with these fake allegations of freedom, when in reality no matter what choice you make, you end up getting punished for it.

What Joker wants is anarchy, power to the people. We decide what we want to happen. Mainly though, I don't think that's what Joker wants, he wants to see the world go to hell. Joker knows that if people have power, they will let it go to their heads, one by one society will tear people apart. Proving that people are like the Joker.

I've used my time here wisely, I've analyzed the Joker, listened to every scheme. Finally I've come to a conclusion. Joker is not crazy, what he does, he does for a purpose. He knows that if he killed someone for 'fun' there was a purpose as to why. The last person he killed was Maroni's head man in charge. Coincidence I think not, now Maroni is stuck trying to find out who he can fully trust to watch over his money, instead of actually watching it and his back. That has left the rest of his 'friends' in the mob to steal from him. Slowly the mob will fall apart, leaving them to try and kill each other.

See I told you I am smart, and so is the Joker.

Holding my lap top close to me, I made my way out of my room, absentmindedly grabbing the to-do list off my door as I walked to the kitchen setting my lap top on the table and looking over the list.

1)Get ready for a trip to the mob

2)Break into Gotham city bank computer system at 11:00

3)Cook dinner toots

I read off the list and stopped at the last one. That one better be a god damn joke.

Well that's the first chapter! It's really just a get to know Carly thing. I would really appreciate comments on it. Maybe about her character, and what I can do to improve her character development.

Maybe tell me what you'd like to see happen? I always have loved taking advise of others, it kind of helps with my work.

-Kierah