Heya that's Nozomi No Shinigami and this is a birthday fic for my dear friend skrmbss!
I know it's a small one T_T I'm sorry. But if you want a second chapter just say the word girl!
Many thanks to my partner in crime Black Angel In Love for beta reading this story! Love you too sis !
Disclaimer: I don't own Shingeki No Kyojin or any of its characters. If I did Erwin and Levi would have been married already. All the rights go to Hajime Isayama.
Enjoy!
Only for a moment
Levi doesn't trust Erwin. His nature yes, the person himself no. For he can read him way to well for that.
He is a natural leader, focused on his purpose: to kill the Titans. And Levi will never argue on that. When it comes to humans though… All he can do is watching Erwin deceiving them. And they make it so easy. People hear and understand what they want to, but that is not necessarily the truth.
Levi watches the soldiers' eyes as the Commander explains the plan for the expedition. There are many emotions: fear, determination, respect but most of all trust. They believe that Erwin cares: about their survival, their families, their lives. But he doesn't, not in the way those kids think. He cares about their numbers and their abilities to fight Titans, as simple as that. He doesn't like sacrifices, for they decrease the strength of his units. If he finds, thought, that the loss of some lives will give him better results he will sacrifice them all the same, be it soldiers or civilians. These people will not blame him for sending them to their premature deaths, such a smooth talker he is. Some inspiring words and a gentle gesture is all he needs to make the masses want to die for his purpose. He is standing there talking with his voice colored with passion, an enlightened expression carved on his angelic features and he seems so pure, like send from the heavens to save them all. 'More like sending us up there an hour earlier'.
Yes Levi cannot trust his superior's beautiful words, because they are made for Erwin's convenience, another way to get what he wants and what he needs to satisfy his ambitions or urges. However, there are times that he wishes he could. These wrenched times when Erwin creates lies only for him.
It's normally when they lie on the Commander's bed, both of them breathless and exhausted from their session, waiting to come down from their bliss, after they had touched and tasted each other hungrily for yet another time. It's then when Erwin will play his cards again, to ensure that he will continue to have his way. He will cuddle Levi, in what seems to be the warmest and safest embrace in this world; he will kiss him softly on the lips and say IT. These words that hurt Levi like a knife stabled in his windpipe, that make his heart race so hard as if the poor thing is trying to escape his chest, leave never to come back and bleed again. "I love you Levi, you are the only one I have." "I know…" Levi will solemnly respond with his voice trembling and his eyes close. Because he won't want to see Erwin's satisfied smile, the one that proves the lie. For just a little bit he will pretend that it's true. For just a moment he will want to trust Erwin… Only for a moment.