Title: Muggle Arts
By: neon yellow
Pairing: Severus/Remus
Rated: PG Warnings: just slash
Summary: Severus learns a slight appreciation for muggle arts. Notes: written for fluffyllama for her win in my weekly Harry Potter trivia game.
Muggle Arts
"It looks like a muggle bomb exploded in here."
It certainly did not. Just because Remus wasn't the obsessive-compulsive neat freak that Severus was, didn't mean that his flat was a mess.
"It's hardly that bad."
Snape sniffed, "There are dishes in the sink and a pile of laundry to wash."
Remus looked around. That much was true, but that hardly compared to a scene of an explosion, "Well, if you're that bothered by it, you're more than welcome to do something about it." He smiled and took Severus's suitcase from his hand and headed into the bedroom. Snape only glared.
"You're cooking skills are staggering."
Well finally, Remus thought to himself. The whole day Snape had done nothing but criticize his flat, mock his partial library, mostly filled with muggle books, and suggest ideas on how to improve the odd smell that seemed to waft up from the floor below. Remus had tried to explain that that was just the batty old lady from downstairs who collected pumpkins, but Severus heard nothing of it. It was about time he got some positive feedback. After all, he was doing Severus a favor. With the Hogwarts wards being restored, Severus was in need of a place to stay for a few weeks, and Lupin had been more than happy to offer his lover a temporary home.
"Thanks, Severus." Remus replied cheekily, munching on the lamb he'd prepared for dinner. He'd gone out of his way, spent a bit too much, but he wanted their first night here to be nice.
"It wasn't a compliment. This stuff is horrible." Remus nearly dropped his fork, "It's undercooked in the middle and burnt on the outside. Plus the lettuce in the salad is wilting."
Remus saw nothing wrong with the meal he'd prepared. Just because he couldn't outdo the house elves at Hogwarts, didn't mean he was a bad cook.
"It is not." He said, taking another bit of his lamb. No, it was perfectly fine.
"I suppose I just have higher standards than you."
Remus stopped the retort from spilling from his mouth. This was going to be a long few weeks.
Severus watched as Remus read, his glasses glinting in the dim light of the bedside lamp.
"I don't see why you waste your time with muggle books."
Remus sighed, putting his book down on the pillow, "They're really much more interesting than Wizarding books. The muggle arts have always fascinated me a bit."
"You and Weasley could start a fan club." Snape smirked.
"Severus, you really should try one. Perhaps Atwood, I bet you'd find her writing interesting. She has a dark humor you'd appreciate. I'm reading one of hers now." Remus flashed him the cover, which depicted two figures, standing nearly naked in the scene of what presumably once was a city, but was now only a wreckage.
Snape only rolled his eyes, "I see no reason to want to read something written by arrogant and naïve people."
"It's hardly arrogant. Actually, this one is quite good. It's about the future, with a sort of manmade apocalypse. Very dark, but oddly funny."
"It sounds boring. I'd never read something written by a muggle."
"It's not boring and I bet you'd enjoy it. It's far more enjoyable than those potion's journals you're always reading up on."
With that Severus rolled over, turning to face away angrily. Remus knew he'd done it. Rule number one with Severus was never insult his dear potions. He looked over at Severus's prone body and decided that sleep would be best. When he was awake he was always doing something to displease him.
Well after Remus had fallen asleep, Severus lay awake, glancing over at the closed book. Manmade apocalypse, that sounded somewhat less boring than he'd imagined.
"Are you ever going to clean those pots from the other night?"
"No, you could always do it." Remus responded, "Besides, I'm busy at the moment."
"I hardly think reading that muggle trash you call a novel constitutes as being busy." Remus rolled his eyes and curled up closer to the side of the couch, straightening his reading glasses.
"No wonder this place is such a mess, if you're too lazy to even bother cleaning the dishes."
"I'll get around to it later tonight, Severus."
"You know, an inn is starting to sound quite appealing. At least they clean up there." Remus sighed and closed his book with an annoyed thud.
"Fine." He muttered, standing up and heading into the kitchen, "I'll do it now."
As he disappeared around the corner, Severus smirked to himself and picked up the discarded book, flipping pages idly. He turned to where he left off last time and continued reading, careful to listen to where Remus was in the next room.
The half moon shone in through the open curtains, casting a dim strand of light in the otherwise dark room. Remus slept fitfully, pillowed against his lover's chest.
Severus's eyes were open, as he looked vaguely around the room, smiling weakly at the pile of clothes in one corner and the stack of books in the other. The walls were white and a lamp hung above their heads.
This place was so different from his own home at Hogwarts, and he was almost starting to appreciate it. Almost. He could smell that foul odor of stale pumpkins wafting from below, and held Remus just a tad closer, eyeing his muggle book on the night table.
Severus reached over Remus, careful not to wake him up and took the book, opening it up silently. Positive Remus was asleep; he bestowed a soft kiss on his forehead, before turning on the side lamp, making sure it was dim.
Remus cracked his eyes open and grinned sleepily over at his lover, who was completely engrossed in his book. He yawned silently and rested back against the pillows, closing his eyes before Severus could catch him. As he fell back into sleep, he contemplated which book Severus would never read next.
Fin.