God Give Me Strength
Hello all! I won't bother you for long; I'll just say what I need to and take off. Okay, I had lots of ideas of how to write this and it ended up turning out nothing like I planned… Oh well.
This is not only my first attempt at a fanfic but also at a 'songfic' (is it a songfic? I have NO idea). And… Kanda isn't in it… AHHHHH! I feel like a traitor… *cries and doesn't notice Kanda walking up behind her* "what the hell are you doing moyashi?" okay, I'm going to run now… (And yes, I really am a moyashi, I'm small… *cries simply because she is able to admit it*) AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! LAVI! SAVE ME!
NOTE: you may notice in the future that I will constantly piss off Kanda somehow and then request Lavi to save me. And Lavi really comes! He's so sweet, saving me all the time. But my heart belongs to one and one only. Kanda-kun might warm up to me one day…who knows?
Disclaimer: *bangs head on table continually* I don't own it, I don't own it, I don't own it.
P.S. Okay, I know you're getting sick of me now but I just wanted to tell you, if I say I bang my head on a table, I really am doing it. Seriously, I have the bruise to prove it. (Ow, it's turned purple already; how hard is that damn table?). So most of the stuff will be real. Including the scenes with Kanda. Kanda…*drools*
Now, you read; I'm going to go watch episode 93 again.
A young man is seen silently watching a young child chase a soccer ball around a barren field. His white hair blends in perfectly against the snow that falls around the otherwise deserted park. He sighs into the air and looks to the crystal-like sky for guidance, for answers. For redemption.
The world's got so dark I need some guidance to see
'cause this pain in my heart is taking everything from me.
He cries to himself, feeling so alone. All his friends gone, some left this world, others still in it but lost to him. Leenalee, with her strong heart; Komui, his stupid inventions and his pointless Komurin's; Lavi would never again sprout his ridiculous jokes; that idiot BaKanda, never to 'che' again…
If it's true that love makes the world go round
Please give some love to me
'cause I'm feeling so alone right now, it's suffocating me.
Krory, with his amazing desire to live; Miranda, he would miss Miranda's apologies (even if things were never really her fault anyways); everyone back at headquarters, Reever, Johnny, the other scientists, Bakk and everyone else at the Asian headquarters. Heck, he'd even miss the annoying stalker, Link. But he must go on…
God give me strength to keep on walking
God give me strength to keep on, keep on
God give me strength to keep on walking
God give me strength to keep on, keep on
He has to keep on walking. He promised Mana. He promised his friends, before the final battle was fought. The end will come for him soon, he knows it. His innocence will continue to feed off his life; his flame will not burn much longer. But he can't stop, he must continue. For them.
The air's got so thick, I find it's hard to breathe
And before have I felt so desperately in need
I know that I must start listening to the voice inside of me.
The truth is that when I speak to you, I hope to speak to me.
The fourteenth in his head asks him questions he dares not answer, he dares not think about. If he does he may doubt. Doubt himself, Mana, and everyone who died in the final battle... But that was years ago. The Earl disappeared, defeated but not dead. Only to return once again in the future, to restart the battle with a new set of heroes. These new heroes might succeed where they did not, but that was not the white-haired man's concern. That was a battle for another time, and another group of people. As for the Noah, they were divided. Some were dead, of course, but some joined him, gladly, in the end.
God give me strength, to keep on walking
God give me strength, to keep on, keep on
God give me strength, to keep on walking
God give me strength, to keep on, keep on
And yet he still has the strength to continue. He doesn't know where it comes from, only that it exists. And although he may not be around for much longer, he can still love and create life. He can still belong to this selfish world that thinks only of its own gain. But in the past years he has learned something, something deadly important and yet of no importance. Life is cruel, but it can be a beautiful thing. And at this moment in time, watching a certain child running and smiling, he can honestly say he loves it.
Oooh, oooh, my darling
God is you
God is you
"Daddy! Come play with me!" He looks up and smiles at the boy calling to him while slowly shaking his head. He wouldn't have the strength to keep up. 'When one life sets, another rises.' These are his thoughts as he watches his young son racing, as he watches this miniature copy of him speed around, the brown hair the same shade as his used to be, it even falls the same way. As carefree as any other child his age. Innocent and pure. And that is how he is supposed to be, no? Yes. And it would stay that way if he had anything to say about it.
God give me strength, to keep on walking
God give me strength, to keep on, keep on
God give me strength, to keep on walking
God give me strength, to keep on, keep on
He got up from his seat and walked slowly to his awaiting son, noting how that careless grin can somehow make him forget all his worries. Now, as a woman calls across the park, he laughs out loud at the boy's concern on having to leave and says something persuasive like any normal father. The child's face lights up and he chuckles again. They walk towards the woman with long, flowing purple hair, which was cut so short and spiky when they first met; with those pristine-red lips which had connected with his so many times before.
God give me strength, to keep on walking
[God, keep on, keep on giving me strength]
God give me strength to keep on, keep on.
They are home now, a pretty little home. His wife had decorated and he will personally wonder for eternity how she was able to choose the contrasting blacks, whites and browns over her usual reds, purples and various other bright colours, but it certainly looked good this way. "Allen, darling. Fetch Mana from upstairs for dinner, please? Tell him to hurry; Tyki will arrive any moment now." His only response is a special smile just for her and a whisper of, "Yes, Road." As he goes to find the lively little boy that has so completely stolen so many hearts.
God, keep on, keep on giving me strength.
(repeat)
Suddenly, he sees an image of the past, before the last battle, and smiles at the almost concrete image. He happily remembers Lavi's large grin, no longer just a mask for his true intentions, but a true manifestation of his feelings as he looks into the eyes of the newest exorcist to the order, another valuable parasitic user, a beautiful woman with eyes only for a certain red-haired young man. Then there is Kanda and Leenalee, Leenalee laughing while Kanda smiles, an action he saves only for her. He remembered vividly how Kanda had glowered and glared when Leenalee pecked each of them on the cheek, but he blushed when her lips connected almost dangerously with his, despite everyone's giggles and Komui's protests. Then of course Miranda and Krory, it seemed they had come to a mutual agreement; Krory would support Miranda despite her clumsiness and she would comfort him over the pain of Eliade. And then there were the scientists and all the others at the order, he remembered their smiling faces, welcoming him home after he had finally over-come the fourteenth. He had vowed he would never forget any of them, but he would honour their memory by living on through the pain. After all, it was the pain that gave him the strength to keep on walking.
Okay, I know that was really bad but please bear with me, I have to work on improving my skills before I can edit that and make it better… Oh, btw, I know it wasn't good but if you review, you get a mental ginger-cookie (ginger ones are the only ones left, Allen ate all the other cookies; even if they are mental. Of course, I am too. Mental that is.) Anyway, we could only salvage the ginger ones, but if I get enough reviews I might just go out and buy some chocolate ones.
I just want to say something about the song. For those of you who didn't know, yes it is a real song but I will tell you this. If you just read the fanfic and the lyrics, it seems to almost fit; but if you listen to the song, well… the way it's sung just doesn't seem right for this…
I don't think this is worth my time but if there are enough reviews (it will take a few for my liking) I might write a sequel (but it won't be a songfic, I think). I was even thinking of writing a fanfic about the events leading up to this… maybe focused on the character I mentioned was with Lavi… hmm. Now it's got me thinking. Darn it! I'm supposed to be writing the Harry Potter and -Man crossover! Oops… hmm, how many times have I used "…" so far in this fic? I really like writing it… ….. ….. …..*BANG* OKAY, I'M OVER IT! Only because Kanda-kun hit me again (*cries*) but I'm totally over it… hehe… *CRASH* OKAY! I GET THE POINT! Girl-basher…