Diclaimer:
I do not own the characters in this fanfiction and I am not making any money by writing this. It is for entertainment and enjoyment purposes only.
I'm Going Home
Frank is smiling absently. It is obvious that he hasn't realized how dangerous this situation is – for all of us, but mostly for him.
Frightened I press myself against Brad's half naked body and his arm that he wraps around me gives me at least a small glimpse of hope. But there is none. Not really.
"How sentimental," Magenta says, mockingly.
Frank turns around and looks at her surprised.
"And also presumptuous of you," Riff Raff adds in a low voice that sounds cold and determined. "You see, when I said we were to return to Transylvania, I referred only to Magenta and myself."
Frank's expression turns from surprised to confused.
"I'm sorry, however, if you found my words misleading," Riff Raff adds. "But you see, you are to remain here … in spirit, anyway."
He holds out a metal device, shaped like a pitchfork.
"Great heavens!" Dr Scott gasps. "That's a laser!"
"Yes, Dr Scott," Riff Raff confirms. "A laser capable of emitting a beam of pure anti-mater."
Brad gulps.
"You mean … you're going to kill him?" he asks. "What's his crime?"
"You saw what became of Eddie," Dr Scott reminds him. "Society must be protected."
"Exactly, Dr Scott," Riff Raff agrees. "And now, Frank N. Furter, your time has come. Say good-bye to all of this …"
He motions his laser through the room.
"… and hello to oblivion."
There is a moment of silence and then I hear a terrible scream.
It's Columbia, still standing next to the spot light that she has been operating during Frank's performance. Riff Raff turns quickly and fires a laser beam at Columbia. She gets zapped and drops into the audience.
Uttering a yelp, Frank, who has watched the unexpected attack, flinches, his eyes wide open with fear and when Riff Raff raises his laser, he turns and runs towards the curtain. Riff Raff takes a few steps forward. Panicking, Frank grabs the curtain, trying to climb up the rope, while Riff Raff is closing in on him, slowly, like a lion hunting down his prey. Then he points his laser at his former master, but he takes his time – just because he can. Frank won't stand a chance anyway. His attempt to flee is futil. I know it, Riff Raff knows it and Frank probably knows it, too.
But despite the mortal danger we are all in, I decide there and then that I cannot just stand there and watch Riff Raff kill another person – alien or not. So I tear myself away from Brad and run towards Riff Raff. Too late he realizes what I am up to and therein lies my advantage. I manage to push up Riff Raff's arm and instead of Frank the laser beam he fires hits the chandelier above us.
Unfortunately, though, Riff Raff is much stronger than he appears. Forcefully he pushes me back, which makes me trip and stumble. I know that now I am done for as I am falling to the ground. Alarmed I look up at Riff Raff and see that there is pure anger in his eyes as he points his laser at me.
"I love you, Brad," is the last thing that crosses my mind, before I close my eyes – probably forever.
To my surprise the fatal hit never comes. Instead I hear a loud noise, the sound of breaking glass and when I open my eyes again, I see Riff Raff and Magenta lying on the ground, buried under the remains of the great chandelier.
"Janet!" Brad yells, running towards me. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," I answer, still in shock. "I'm fine …"
Clumsily, I stagger to my feet.
"What about them?" I ask, nodding at Riff Raff and Magenta. "Are they dead?"
Brad walks over to them and nudges Riff Raff in the side.
"No," he then says. "Just knocked out."
Brad smiles.
"Well, done, Janet," he praises. "Well done."
"Thanks," I reply, and avert my gaze, but when I shyly look around I see that everybody's eyes are turned to me.
Frank, on the ground again, but still grasping the curtain, is shaking. Rocky is gaping in shock. Even Dr Scott seems motionless.
"Are you alright?" I ask.
Frank remains silent. Rocky just blinks. Only Dr Scott nods, slowly.
Then Rocky wakes from his stupor. He runs towards Frank, kneels down in front of him and wraps his arms around Frank's waist. Frank sighs and as if someone had pulled the carpet from under his feet, he falls to his knees and takes Rocky's face in his hands.
"Yes, baby, I forgive you," he whispers, stroking through Rocky's hair. "Of course I forgive you. Always."
Rocky leans his forehead against Frank's. The sight is so touching and if we weren't still somewhat in danger I would certainly sigh.
"We should go," I suggest instead, trying to keep the grip on myself. "If Riff Raff and Magenta come to before we have left, we are all done for."
"Quite right," Dr Scott agrees. "Let's get out of here."
I look at Frank and Rocky.
"Will you two come with us?" I ask. "Or would you rather stay here and get killed as soon as your former servants wake up?"
Frank looks at Brad and he nods.
"Yes, come on," Brad says. "You're not the nicest person in the world, Frank, but you don't exactly deserve to die, either."
"And neither does your creature," I add, smiling at Rocky.
"Yes, he is my creature," Frank declares, defiantly, as he stands. "I made him for me and me alone."
I sigh.
"Perhaps we can discuss this when we are out of danger?" I suggest.
Frank nods and takes Rocky by his hand to help him up.
"You lead the way, Frank," Brad decides. "You know this castle inside out."
Frank only raises his eyebrow and quickly Brad, pushing Dr Scott's wheelchair, and I follow Frank and Rocky towards the exit.
When Frank opens the front door, a cold wind is rushing in and I hesitate.
"Wait!" I intervene, grabbing Brads arm. "I just realized that we don't have any clothes."
"And my car still has a flat," Brad remembers.
"Yes, looking as ridiculous as we do, nobody will help us," Dr Scott agrees.
"And it's still raining," I add, looking at Brad.
"Alright," he decides after a moment of silence. "I'll take Dr Scott and Rocky back to the car. You and Frank will quickly search for something suitable to dress for all of us and follow us."
"That's a good plan," I praise. "Let's not waste any time. Go. We have to hurry."
With that I grab Frank's arm, but he shakes his head.
"Do you think it wise that I of all people should stay behind?" Frank asks me. "This maniac handyman tried to kill me! Apparently, I whipped him too hard once too often. And he is still armed, because if I remember correctly, no one even bothered to take the laser away from him after the chandelier knocked him out!"
"I was under stress!" I justify myself.
"Well, I was not exactly dozing in a deck chair either," Frank retorts. "So, be that as it may, I'd rather accompany my beautiful baby, your fiancée and the cripple and get to safety."
"But from all of us no one knows the castle better than you do," I add for consideration. "If I go alone I will never find the rooms we have been in."
Frank purses his lips but he doesn't contradict.
Brad nods his goodbye and leaves, pushing Dr Scott's wheelchair, accompanied by Rocky.
As soon as the door has shut behind them I turn to Frank.
"Now, I think we should try our bedrooms first," I suggest. "Where are they?"
"Upstairs," Franks says. "But you arrived in my laboratory practically naked already, so you must have lost your clothes earlier."
"Right," I nod. "Riff Raff and Magenta undressed us in that throne room and Columbia, may she rest in peace, threw the clothes away."
I sigh.
"Perhaps we can check on her before we leave?" I suggest. "I mean, what if she is not dead …"
"Well, she looked quite dead to me," Frank replies. "That laser beam is absolutely fatal."
"I'd still like to check," I insist. "Just to be sure."
"Alright," Frank gives in. "But let's get the clothes first."
I nod and together we search the throne room.
"I found Brad's shirt," I say after a while. "And my shoes."
"I found your dress," Frank announces. "And your fiancé's trousers."
"That's a start," I reply. "At least one of us must look decent, so we can go for help."
"And what about me?" Frank demands.
"The laboratory," I suggest. "That's where you took off your green dress, before you led Rocky into your honeymoon suite."
"What about Rocky, anyway?" Frank asks. "He never had clothes in the first place."
"He can have Brad's blue bathrobe," I suggest. "It must be in the laboratory as well. At least that's where I last saw it on him. Let's look for it there."
Frank hesitates.
"Technically, it was my bathrobe," he corrects. "But your deduction makes sense, so it's worth a try searching my laboratory first."
Quickly we run upstairs and from the laboratory's balcony I can spot Brad's bathrobe lying on the floor.
"Thank goodness!" I exclaim. "It's still there!"
We hurry down the ramp to collect it, then I look around.
"Now all we need is to find your green dress," I establish. "Any idea where Magenta might have put it after you took it off?"
Frank shrugs.
"In the tank, maybe?" I suggest.
Doubtfully, Frank raises an eyebrow, but he walks over to the tank and looks inside.
"You're right!" he says, pulling out the green dress. "Here it is!"
"Put it on!" I order. "It will make you feel less … vulnerable."
I cannot help but giggle, but Frank looks at me, seriously.
"Janet," he says. "I never thanked you for saving my life earlier. I'd like to do so now."
He extends his hand and after a moment of hesitation I take it. Slowly he pulls my hand up and kisses it – and it is then that I realize that we are standing in exactly the same spot where we stood when he first kissed my hand.
"Thank you, Janet," Frank says, solemnly. "I will be eternally grateful."
"No hard feelings then?" I ask after clearing my throat.
"No hard feelings," Franks confirms. "As long as you promise to stay away from Rocky in the future I will not hold a grudge."
"I must admit that I am indeed a little bit in love with him," I confess with a sigh. "But he's yours. You created him and I'll accept that. I promise."
"And in turn I promise never to touch your fiancé again," Frank says. "Cross my heart and hope to die."
I smile at him, but suddenly the smile freezes on my lips.
"I think I just heard a noise from downstairs!" I whisper.
Frank's eyes widen.
"Oh, no!" he gasps. "What if they beam the entire castle back to Transsexual while we are still in it?"
"Can they do that?" I ask in shock.
"Of course they can!"
"Well, that would be very inconvenient," I establish. "We should get out quickly."
"What about Columbia?" Frank asks. "Didn't you want to check on her?"
"Oh, forget it," I say, dismissively. "She is probably dead, anyway. As you said earlier that laser beam is absolutely fatal. I'd rather make a run for it and save my own skin."
"So do I!" Frank agrees and to save us time we take the elevator to get downstairs.
As we reach the ground floor I perceive another noise, the sound of broken glass getting shoved away and I can distinctly hear familiar voices.
"They have regained consciousness!" I whisper. "We must leave at once!"
Frank nods.
As quiet as possible we hurry to the front door and as soon as we are standing outside I heave a sigh of relief. Now we are almost safe.
"Where is your car?" Frank asks, as we hurry away.
"Not too far," I answer. "Come, quickly. I don't like the noise I'm hearing."
With that I grab Frank's hand to lead him down the path, but just as we reach the gate with the sign reading "ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK", the sound of a rocket getting started makes me stop.
"What's that?" I ask.
"They are beaming the castle," Frank explains. "Get down!"
With that he pushes me to the ground and throws himself over me. Only a second later, the earth seems to be shaking and debris is hitting us. The roaring sound deafens me. I can't even cover my ears, because Frank's body is pinning me to the ground. I close my eyes and wait until the sound subsides and the dust has settled a little before I dare to look again.
Slowly, Frank sits up, and stares into the sky.
"I've done a lot, God knows I've tried, to find the truth, I've even lied," he says, absently. "But all I know is down inside I'm bleeding …"
"And super-heroes come to feast, to taste the flesh, not yet deceased," I add, silently. "And all I know in still the beast is feeding …"
We look at each other and there is a moment of silence.
"You saved me," I finally maintain. "Thank you."
Frank nods, slowly.
"Then we are even, I guess."
"Yes," I confirm. "We're even."
"Yes …"
Frank stares at me and I stare back at him. His green eyes are mesmerizing and before I know what's come over me we are embracing each other, holding each other tightly. I can feel Frank's heart beating hard and fast against his ribcage and I believe mine is racing too.
This has been such a close shave. We escaped death twice and that means something.
I gaze up and I see that Frank is almost as breathless as I am and I don't know, which force makes me do it, I cup his face and kiss him on the lips.
For a second Frank is stunned, but then he returns the kiss, kisses me back and so we are sitting there, kissing each other forcefully over and over again.
When we back away, we hardly dare to look at each other.
"We should go," I suggest, averting my gaze. "The others will be waiting for us."
Frank nods.
"Hey, Janet?" he says, as I move to stand.
"Yes, Frank?" I reply, looking at him shyly.
"No word to Rocky about this!"
"Or to Brad!"
"Not even a syllable," Frank promises.
I nod. Then I hold out my hand and help Frank stand, before we stagger through the debris, but suddenly Frank frowns.
"What?" I demand.
"Do you hear that?" Frank asks.
"No," I answer. "What am I supposed to be hearing?"
"Moaning," Frank answers.
"You should know," I mumble, but then I hear it too.
Searching for the source of the sound I look around – and then I see her.
"Look!" I shout, pointing to a golden-red glistening in between the rocks and stones. "Over there!"
"It's Columbia!" Frank establishes.
Quickly we hurry towards the injured girl and remove the rocks that partly cover her body.
Columbia is breathing, faintly, but she is really alive.
"Hey," I say, beaming at Columbia, when she slowly opens her eyes. "How are you doing?"
Columbia blinks.
"I've been better," she admits, frowning. "Who are you people?"
"Well, I'm Janet," I introduce myself, a little confused. "And that's Frank. Why do you ask?"
"Have we met before?" Columbia wants to know.
"Yes," I confirm. "Don't you remember?"
"No," Columbia says sitting up. "Where am I, anyway?"
"These are the remains of Frank's castle," I explain. "Riff Raff and Magenta beamed it back to Transsexual, the planet that they came from."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!"
Columbia makes a warning gesture.
"This almost sounds like Twilight Zone!" she says. "Are you guys insane or something?"
"No," I reply. "We are as sane as you are."
Columbia snorts.
"Look," she says. "I don't know you, nor do I know how I have come here. The last thing I remember is walking down the street, just having a think, when this snake of a guy gave me an evil wink. He shook me up, he took me by surprise. He had a pickup truck and the devil's eyes. He stared at me and I felt a change. After that everything is blank."
Frank looks at me.
"Apparently the laser beam erased her memory," he establishes.
"Looks quite like it," I agree, then I turn to Columbia. "Can you get up?"
"Yeah, I think so," she replies and gulps, when she notices the clothes she is wearing.
Quickly, she covers her chest.
"Oh my god, what am I wearing?" she gasps. "This is indecent!"
I chuckle.
"Believe me, Columbia, you didn't think so before!"
"And who is Columbia?" she demands.
Frank frowns.
"Well, you are."
"No, I most certainly am not Columbia," she replies. "My name is Nell."
"Okay," I give in. "Well, Nell, can we help you somehow? I mean, Brad, my fiancé, has a car a few miles down the road. It does have a flat tyre, but I assume Brad will be able to fix it somehow. We'd be happy to take you home!"
"Yeah, sure, why not," Columbia replies, shrugging. "Looking like this, I suppose, no one will give me a ride, anyway!"
"On the contrary," I reply. "Some people would give their right arm for the privilege."
"I doubt it!"
Columbia snorts.
"Now, can we go?" she asks, impatiently. "I'm freezing!"
Frank and I help her getting up and together we stagger back to Brad's car.
Brad beams at me, when we approach, but there is also a hint of confusion in his glance.
"I'll be damned," he says as he spots Columbia. "She is alive!"
"Yes, we found her under the debris," I explain, but then I clasp my hand over my mouth. "Oh, no! The clothes! I dropped them when the castle took off and they got buried under the debris. I didn't even think about them. You?"
I look at Frank and he shakes his head.
"I forgot about them, too," he admits. "I was too distracted from the whole incident … and the aftermath."
He gives me a meaningful glance and almost imperceptibly I nod.
"I'm so sorry, Brad," I apologize. "You see, Riff Raff and Magenta beamed the entire caste back to Transsexual and apparently they left Columbia behind."
"How many times!" Columbia groans. "My name is not Columbia! I'm Nell! And I don't understand a word you are saying!"
"That's alright, dear girl," Dr Scott, who is already sitting in the backseat of Brad's car, meddles into the conversation through the open window. "The most important thing is that you are alive and well."
"I'm not well," Columbia says. "I look like a cheap hooker!"
Brad laughs.
"Well, you did all the time!"
"What?"
"It's a joke," I lie, quickly, when I see Columbia's face. "Brad has a strange kind of humour. Now, why don't you sit down in the car next to Rocky, hm?"
"And who is Rocky?" Columbia asks, confused. "The old guy?"
"No, actually, it's the handsome blonde fellow, sitting in the back of the car, next to the old guy."
"And why is he called Rocky?" Columbia asks. "Does he have rocks in his heads or what?"
"Something like that," I reply.
"What sort of cruel parents would do that to their child?" Columbia wonders.
"Excuse me!" Frank interrupts, angrily, but I quickly intervene.
"Leave it!" I demand. "We have to work out a way to get help."
"That's not necessary anymore," Brad corrects. "Rocky gave me helpful hand. Together we fixed he spare tyre and now were ready to go."
"Oh, Brad!"
Happily I fling my arms around Brad.
"You're my hero!"
"Actually, the true hero is Rocky," Brad contradicts. "But I would hate it if you thanked him just like you thanked me just now."
"Me too," Frank growls, scowling at me. "You know what we agreed on?"
"Yes, I remember," I answer. "Rocky is yours. Warts and all."
"Rocky doesn't have any warts!" Frank declares.
"Yes, you're right, he doesn't," I say with a chuckle. "I should know, because …"
"Enough," both Brad and Frank yell and biting back a grin I shut up.
"Does this mean we are ready to go?"
"Yes," Brad answers. "And we should. The sooner the better!"
I purse my lips.
"Only where are we going to?" I ask, glancing sideways at Frank. "And what about Frank and Rocky? I mean, we can't possible take them home to live with us!"
"True," Brad says with a sigh.
"How about my place, then?" Dr Scott suggests. "You know, I own a huge mansion. Two more people won't make any difference. Even if all of you wanted to come and stay it wouldn't be a problem."
I look at Frank.
"What do you think?" I ask. "Can you imagine living at Dr Scott's house, at least for the time being, until we find a permanent solution?"
Frank folds his arms before his chest.
"And who will guarantee for our safety?" he asks. "Dr Scott works for the government, after all. What if he rats us out and they take us away to make some strange experiments with us?"
"No one can guarantee you anything," I answer. "But where else would you go? You don't know anyone here."
"I know Columbia!"
"For the last time," Columbia intervenes. "I'm not Columbia and I don't know you, freak!"
"Frank, she doesn't remember anything that happened," I explain. "You are a stranger to her! We all are."
"How can she forget me after the wonderful time we had together!" Frank wonders. "If I wanted to I could tell you some secrets about this one …"
He grins.
"She's got a tongue like an electric eel and she certainly likes the taste of a man's tonsils," he reveals. "And let's not forget about the strange noises she makes, when I …"
"No, thank you!" I interrupt. "We really don't need to know."
"I'd like to know, though," Columbia says intrigued. "What sort of noises do I make? And when do I make them?"
Frank smirks, then he leans in on Columbia and whispers something in her ear.
Columbia blushes and gulps.
"Really?" she asks. "So we …"
"Oh, yes," Frank says, nodding.
"Huh," Columbia replies. "You are so not my type! That blonde one is much more like it."
"That's mine," Frank insists. "I already had to share him with this one."
He points at me.
"And I'm not going to share him with anyone else."
"I understand what you see in him," Brad says. "Rocky is not exactly the brightest candle on the cake, but he is strong – strong enough to lift my car and help me fix the tyre."
"Why Brad!" Frank teases. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you have a thing for my baby?"
Brad blushes and scratches his head.
"I think we better go now," he says, hurrying around the car.
Then he opens the back too and makes an inviting gesture. Frank only grins and without any comment he climbs into the back seat, next to Rocky, while Columbia squeezes next to me on the passenger seat in the front. To my own surprise the car comes to life at the first try and together we leave the scene of our nightly adventure.
How we manage to get to Dr Scott's place I cannot say in hindsight. The car just barely makes it, which is a miracle in the first place, since it has to carry six people and a wheelchair. It takes us almost two hours and when we finally park in front of Dr Scott's house I am truly impressed.
"You never mentioned that you actually live in such a huge house," I say to Dr Scott after we got out of the car.
"You never asked," Dr Scott replies, wheeling beside me. "I have grown up here and spent most of my youth in this place. Such wonderful memories …"
"Yes, I can imagine," Frank says, dismissively. "My castle was more elegant, though. I'm looking forward to seeing the inside of this hovel. I hope it's better than the outside."
"Can you perhaps be even more ungrateful?" I reproach Frank. "Dr Scott was kind enough to invite you to stay with him and all you can do is complain."
Frank shoots an angry look at me.
"Why don't you two move in as well?" he asks. "See how you like this ramshackle hut!"
I don't reply.
"Actually," Brad says after a moment of silence. "That's a brilliant plan."
"No, Brad," I contradict. "It's probably the worst plan since Abraham Lincoln said, 'Oh, I'm tired of kicking around the house tonight. Let's go take in a show.'"
"And who is Abraham Lincoln?" Frank asks. "Does he live here as well? Could get a bit too crowded …"
"Don't be ridiculous," Dr Scott snorts. "I wouldn't notice if a football team moved in here. So, Brad, Janet, my offer includes you as well. You can have the entire west wing, if you want."
My eyes widen with delight.
"Seriously?"
Dr Scott nods.
"This has been the most exciting night of my life so far," he says. "Except the one when Eddie tried to kill me out of pure spite …"
"Come to think about it, we never as much as tried to retrieve Eddie's body," I suddenly remember. "Don't you think we should?"
"And what good will it possibly do?" Dr Scott asks. "You can't show the corpse to anyone anymore. He is half eaten!"
"Good point," I admit. "But maybe we can hold some sort of memorial service for him?"
"We're remembering him now, aren't we?" Dr Scott adds for consideration.
"Well, yes …"
"I think that's memorial enough," Dr Scott decides. "He was a low down cheap little punk and there's an end to it. Now, let's get inside. I'll show you your quarters and then we'll have breakfast. Personally, I am starving!"
"Who is Eddie?" Columbia asks, confused.
"Someone who ruined a perfect dinner," Frank replies. "But at least Rocky enjoyed the meat loaf."
He beams at his creation.
"Come on, baby," he adds. "This is where we are going to live now. Are you excited?"
Rocky laughs sheepishly. Then he picks up Frank from the ground and carries him through the front door that Dr Scott has opened for us. Columbia is following them, slowly.
Now Brad and I stand alone in front of the big house, looking at our new home. The rain has stopped and there is a silver lining in the sky. It's a new day, a new life …
"Funny," I say, eventually. "I didn't like them much in the beginning. But I have grown accustomed to their eccentricities. To be honest, I'm quite fond of them. It will be a blast living with them under one roof."
"I know what you mean, Janet," Brad replies, putting his arm around my shoulder. "Because I feel exactly the same way."
He laughs.
"It's curious what a difference a day makes," he adds thoughtfully.
"Or rather 12 hours!" I improve. "All the fun we had since …"
"Well, in the moments in which we were not scared senseless," Brad points out.
"Yes, it was scary at times," I admit. "But exciting, too! And in the end it all turned out well."
"Thanks to you," Brad reminds me. "If you hadn't stopped Riff Raff, who knows what might have happened. He could have killed us all!"
"No, I don't think so," I contradict "I'm pretty sure after eliminating Frank and probably Rocky, too, he would have let the rest of us go."
"Yeah, fat chance," Brad snorts. "Janet, the man was nuttier than squirrel's poo! He would have knocked our lights out with his laser pitchfork without thinking twice."
I shrug.
"Maybe," I reply. "But we'll never know now for sure. The important thing is we survived."
"But we're not the same," Brad says, quietly. "We are … changed."
I nod, slowly.
"Brad?" I then ask, concerned. "Does that mean you don't want to marry me anymore?"
"Of course I do," Brad answers. "That is, if you can forgive me my indiscretion…"
"Only if you can forgive me mine!"
"Yes, I think I can," Brad says, confidently. "No questions asked."
"So, you don't want to talk about it?" I ask, astonished.
Brad shakes his head.
"Well, no," he says. "I think some things are best left unsaid."
"But that means we'll always be strangers," I add for consideration.
"No, not really," Brad contradicts. "Only small parts of us, perhaps."
"The bad parts," I improve.
"No, I believe it's good to have a few secrets."
I look at him in surprise.
"Do you?"
"Yes," Brad says. "That way, in 50 years' time, we'll still be able to surprise each other."
I nod, thoughtfully.
"Perhaps you're right."
Brad smiles at me.
"I love you, Janet."
I smile back at him.
"I love you, too, Brad."
And that is pretty much all there is to say about our strange journey. Because sometimes the way is the goal. And nothing else matters.