DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN VICTORiOUS. Jade's POV.
zeratulatb presents:
A new VICTORiOUS Fanfiction:
The fourth and final story of the Love Darkness tetralogy:
Love Darkness 4:
Prologue:
Antidote
"Who are you?"
"Who are you?"
"Who are you?"
"Who are you?"
"STOP!" I shout, opening my eyes as wide as I can.
I sit up from my bed in the Silver Streak. I look at the alarm clock, it's three in the fucken morning! I feel hot and soggy. I feel myself and I'm sweating. Shit! I think. Fucken hate sweating.
I've slept for shit since last week. I still remember that day like it just happened, let alone happened yesterday.
Flashback to last week:
I'm sitting next to him, my eyes closed and I hear a slight moan on my right. I stir a bit and open my eyes slowly. I look up and listen. Another moan comes out. I look to the right and see Beck is stirring a bit. I gasp as he moves a little more and tries to make himself more comfortable. I take his hand in mine and squeeze, hoping he'll respond. I squeeze a little too tightly.
"Not so hard, please." He croaks. His voice is so cracked. But I don't care. He's awake and he's speaking. I let go of his hand and put my hands to my mouth and I start to cry.
"S-sorry." I whimper.
"It's cool; just be gentle please." He waves off my apology.
"I can't believe it; you're awake." I said, tears falling down my eyes. He groaned a bit and yawned.
"Yup. How long have I been out?" he asked, his eyes still closed. I guess he didn't want to open his eyes after a long time, only to have them blinded by the fluorescents.
"You've been out for a couple of months now; no one was sure if you were going to wake up again." I explain to him, sniffling and wiping my eyes. He opens his eyes a little bit and he looks a little confused.
"Where am I? The hospital?" he asks, looking around his room.
"Yeah." I reply.
"Did they operate on me, 'cause my head's really killing me?" he groans as he massages his head.
"Yeah, they did and it saved your life." I told him. His eyes open all the way and he briefly winces from the brightness, but he adjusts to it.
"At least I know I have a head." He groans. I chuckle a little at his poorly timed joke. He sits up a little bit and stretches. "I'm so numb everywhere."
"Well, being in the same position for months will do that to you." I point out. He nods slowly. He looks around the room, but avoids me. I think he's trying to take in his surroundings. I take his hand again and squeeze it.He moaned again and looks at me for the first time in a month, a blank expression on his face.
"Who are you?" he asked softly.
End of flashback.
And that just kills me! It's on a never-ending loop! I left the hospital the moment those words left his mouth. I just ran and ran and ran until I came back here. I didn't bother driving my car back. I was surprised I made it back here. All I could hear in my head was his innocent question.
"Who are you?"
"Who am I?" I ask myself out loud. I start to cry again. "How can you not know who I am, Beck?" I can't think anymore! I can't take the pain. The pain. The pain. It's not the good pain that I enjoyed when I was a teen. It's so much worse.
I sigh and sniffle. I throw the soaked sheets off me and I get up to go to the bathroom. Afterwards, when I'm washing my hands, I look at myself in the mirror. I'm starting to show a little more now. I'm at least three months into the pregnancy. I sigh and leave my bathroom. I go to the counter and get myself some coffee. Since I really like regular coffee, I've been using decaf lately. Regular is fine, but I don't trust myself. I've been spacing out so much lately that I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
I put the full cup in the micro and heat it up. I rub my eyes and sigh. I should be trying to fall asleep again. I can't, 'cause I know what will happen. I'll dream about Beck's memory loss. And I just can't stand it anymore. I want him back!
The micro beeps at me, causing me to jump. I turn to face it and sigh, exasperated. I open the micro door and gingerly take out the hot mug and its steaming contents. I take a closer look at the mug. The micro light allows me to look at it more closely. This isn't your average mug.
It's the mug. It's the fucken mug. It's the mug that I gave Beck years ago, when we first started dating. It reads on it: The World's Best Boyfriend. The 'o' in boyfriend being replaced with a red heart. Well, shit.
I can't drink from something that reminds me of him. I scream and I take the mug and throw it against the wall next to the sofa and it smashes against it and the broken pieces and its contents spill on the sofa. I wince and groan and grab my hand. I got a little coffee on me and it stings. I go to the door and hit the switch and the room lights up. I groan from the bright light and look at my hand after slowly opening my eyes.
Its red from where the coffee spilt and it's still stinging. Fuck, it hurts. I sigh and go into the bathroom and run it under the cold water for a few minutes. My eyes start to sting from tears again. Damnit, I can't stop crying.
I go back into the main room and I grab the photo album on the dresser. I don't know why I want to look through it all of the sudden. I sit down on the bed and I open it and look through it. There are numerous pictures in it. It's not a big album, as it's in a small notebook. But there is more than enough pictures in it to bring back painful memories. They were good memories, because I was with my true love and I was happy; I was smiling in them. The painful part is that Beck isn't sitting here with me, looking through the album.
I hear a gentle knock on the door. I turn to look at it.
"Yeah?" I croak.
"Jade, honey? It's Julie." Julie's voice comes from behind the door. My screaming must've woken her.
"What's up?" I ask, wiping my eyes.
"I heard you screaming, is everything ok?" she asks. I moan. Yup, I woke her by screaming.
"My boyfriend has no memory of me; does that count as ok?" I ask in half-hearted sarcasm. She sighs.
"Can I come in?" she asks. I get up and go to the door. I unlock it and open it for her. Julie is standing there in a fluffy bathrobe, her hair in a bun and a little messy. I step aside and she walks in. I feel the cool air tickle my face as my head is outside a little. She goes in all the way and I close the door. I go back up the little stairs and inside and I find her standing in front of the sofa, looking at the coffee stain on the wall.
"Yeah, that's coffee." I say, answering her unasked question.
"What happened?" she asks, looking at me.
"I had a nightmare, woke up and decided to have coffee; the mug was the one Beck gave me when we were dating in high school, so I threw it against the wall." I reply slowly. I grab the album on the bed and close it, replacing it where it was on the dresser.
"Well, you should clean it up before you sit down on it again." Julie says. I ignore her and sit down on the bed again. Julie joins me, sitting on my left.
"I just can't take it. I don't know what to do anymore." I say, looking forward absently. Julie takes my hand and squeezes it.
"It'll be alright, Jade." She says.
"Will it?" I ask.
"Yes, everything will be ok, sweethe-"
"Don't call me that!" I shout, looking at her. She jumps and looks a little scared.
"I'm sorry. Did he-?" She starts to ask, but I know the answer already.
"Yes, he did." I reply.
"Sorry. I should've known. You two were nearly inseparable when you were younger." Julie says, putting a hand on my shoulder. Her touch soothes me, but it's still not enough.
"Where is she?" I ask.
"Where's who, dear?" she asks.
"Tori. I wanna know where she is."
"Why?"
"I wanna hurt her, make her suffer and regret all the things she's done to me, to us." I reply, looking at the tired woman next to me. She shifts nervously.
"Let the authorities handle this one, Jade." Julie says.
"No, I need to be the one to do this, Julie." I say. She removes her hand from my shoulder. "Tori's love for me is toxic to everyone and everything around her and I am the antidote; I started all of this, I need to be the one to end it."
"Do you have any idea what that would mean? What a slippery slope it will be?" Julie asks in a very serious tone.
"I do. It's not just for me. It's for Beck, Cat, Andre, Robbie, you and your husband, my family and my friends' families; I'm doing this for everyone." I reply in an equally serious tone.
"Tori will want that, won't she? Won't she be prepared to take you on?" Julie asks.
"She will be, but I'll still take her by surprise." I reply.
"Jade, honey, please think about this."
"What more is there to think about?"
"Can you take any more losses? What happens if she decides to kill Cat? Or Andre? Or even Beck?" She asks. I wince a little at the sound of Beck's name. "Sorry." She says again.
"No, I can't. No one can take that much pain in their lives. But, you think that'll stop me?"
"I was kinda hoping it would, yeah." Julie admits. I smirk a little.
"Sorry, Julie, but that won't." I say. She sighs.
"Is this what you want?" she asks.
"Yes."
"I don't usually condone such actions, but I want the best for you, and if this is what you want, then I wish you the best of luck; just do one thing for me." She says.
"What?" I ask.
"Don't become her." She answers.
"I won't." I tell her. She smiles sadly at me and puts her hand on my shoulder.
"You know I love you, right? You're the closest thing I have to a daughter." She says, her eyes starting to well with tears. I can feel mine starting to sting. Urgh, not again.
"Yeah, I do." I tell her.
"You were always there for my Beck, no matter what. He told me how sometimes you two would get in serious fights and you would leave, that you would come back, asking for forgiveness and even once in the pouring rain." She tells me and she starts to cry. I just look at her and her tears start to come down.
"We may not have been perfect, but we tried our best to make it work; we were meant for each other." I explain.
"I know." She says.
"Listen, I'm not good at keeping promises, but I can promise you that I will stop Tori." I say, putting my hands on her shoulders. She nods her head, her face stained with tears.
"I don't expect you to make or keep a promise; but I know you will stop her." She replies. She then brings me in for a warm hug and she sobs lightly on my shoulder. I rub her back to soothe her. "I love you, Jade."
"I love you too, mom." I reply and my tears start to come as well.
I will find you, Tori; and you'll never escape me this time.
Dark Love
Comment/review. Love Darkness 4's long-awaited prologue. This will be the DARKEST of the Love Darkness tetralogy (hence the horror genre), so don't expect a happy ending (seriously, don't). No idea how long I'll make it. If necessary, reread Love Darkness 2: Toxicity, as many events will be referenced. Plus, you're all used to Love Darkness 3: Origins. So am I.