Hey guys! I decided to post this one-shot since I don't have many ideas for Blame the Goddess of Discord!. This fic is super dark, has character deaths, abuse, cutting, suicide, almost-rape, and other dark-y stuff. If this is triggering for any of you, please don't read it. I created this at about three AM here in Cali. That's what happens when I drink Monster... I end up writing dark stuff. And I was about to fall asleep too. But the idea stuck in my mind. So, here you have it; my first ever Harry Potter fanfic. Hope you guys like it. Drop me a review telling me what you thought. Should I write more Harry Potter fics?
Severus Snape looked around the graveyard slowly. His dark, black eyes took in the headstones surrounding him, making him feel slightly claustrophobic. His hand clenched around the single lily flower he held.
Who would've thought, Severus pondered bitterly, that the end of Harry Potter would be like this.
The Potion Master's eyes roamed over the headstone in front of him.
Here lies Harry Potter
Saviour of the Wizarding World
May His Soul Rest in Peace
Severus took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. His free hand trembled a bit as he remembered why he was standing in front of Potter's grave. He remembered the last time he saw the boy alive.
*flashback*
"Professor, please," Harry begged, holding his bulging stomach protectively.
"Mr. Potter, if you would kindly remove yourself from my private quarters, I would appreciate that immensely."
Potter opened his mouth to plea once again before there was a knock on the door. Severus sighed, and walked over to open it. Draco Malfoy stood at the entrance, a slight smile on his lips when he saw Harry.
"Professor Snape, may I take Harry back to his room? I need to speak with him."
Snape snorted and stood aside to let Draco enter. "Please do."
"Come on, Harry. Let's go back to your room. I'll take you," Draco offered sweetly to the black-haired boy.
Harry glanced pleadingly at Snape, but the man ignored his pupil's stare. The younger teenager murmured agreement before slowly making his way out the room and to his Head Boy dorm, Draco following closely behind.
*end flashback*
Severus glared at nothing in particular before dropping the lily at the very top of the grave.
He quickly made his way out of the graveyard.
Severus glanced at the Pensieve in front of his desk and walked over to it. It was full of Potter's memories before he died. It had been lying next to the boy's suicide note at Godric's Hollow. The note was addressed to him, and the Pensieve had been left for him.
He leaned over it, and started to look over the memories.
*start Harry's memory*
I watched as Draco paced around the room angrily. I was a little frightened by my boyfriend's constant mutterings. I hoped I wasn't going to be punished. The bruise on my cheek still hadn't faded completely, and my left arm was sore from the purple mark marring the tanned skin.
Draco finally looked at me. I lowered my eyes immediately, showing my submission to him. It never did bode well to challenge him.
"I will only ask you once, Harry. And I expect a good answer, or you will be punished. Why were you with that Hufflepuff chit? She was blatantly flirting with you, and you did nothing to stop her advances. Why, darling?"
I made sure my eyes never left the floor as I answered. "She asked me to help her with her Potions homework, and I wasn't aware that she was flirting. I was just trying to help her, Draco. She was just being friendly."
That was obviously the wrong thing to say, when I felt the familiar burn on my cheek as Draco slapped me viciously. I didn't dare flinch, knowing that would only make it worse.
Draco continued his assault upon my body, and I let him. I tried my best to remain upright, but I finally couldn't stop myself from collapsing when my blonde boyfriend kicked the back of my knees hard. I muffled a cry of pain when he continued to kick at my stomach. I curled into a ball and tried to block out all thoughts and feelings.
After a few minutes, I felt smooth fingers jerk my chin upwards, and came face-to-face with Draco. He placed a soft kiss to my lips, and stood up. He looked down at me, and smiled slightly.
"This is for your own good, love."
And he left.
*end memory*
*start Harry's memory*
I watched my face in the mirror as the concealment charm hid my bruises. It was a good thing I was a wizard, or else I would be in more trouble.
I walked back into the bedroom, and froze when I saw Draco lying naked on my bed. Oh no. I paled drastically, and I saw my boyfriend smirk slightly at me.
"Come here, my sweet Harry."
I walked as slowly as possible to the side of the bed and took off my glasses before joining Draco.
He caressed my face gently, moving away my bangs from my eyes. He kissed me tenderly, and soon had me naked under him. I was afraid, but I knew better than to show it. Draco only hurt me when I deserved punishment. I need not fear him. He loved me.
He entered me, and it hurt. A lot. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, to pull away from his embrace, but I was more afraid of angering him than to be too concerned with my pain. I let him ravish my body, and soon he left, leaving me covered in blood and cum. I raised my body slowly, wondering if I should take a shower, or if I should just perform a cleaning spell. I reached over to my wand and cast the spell before blackness took over my vision.
*end memory*
*start Harry's memory*
I kneeled over the toilet just in time for my breakfast to resurface. I vomited a few times before I was able to breathe once again.
I flushed the toilet and stood up gingerly to brush my teeth. I was too weak to do much else.
When I looked at my reflection, I didn't see myself. I saw dull green eyes, sallow skin, and dark shadows under my eyes. I didn't even notice the new purple bruises on my face. I was used to them. My friends never noticed. After the war, no one noticed me. Except Draco. He was the only one who cared.
I stumbled back into the bedroom, hoping to take a nap before going to classes. When I opened the bathroom door, I saw my blonde Slytherin sitting on a nearby armchair. No such luck with the nap.
I quickly lowered my gaze. And prepared myself for punishment.
*end memory*
*start Harry's memory*
I stared at Madam Pomfrey, bewildered. I searched her eyes, hoping she was just pulling a hilarious prank on me, and she would soon start laughing and telling me I was just ill and would give me a potion for the stomach bug I had.
No such luck. There was no deceit in her sympathetic eyes.
I was pregnant.
How would I tell Draco?
*end memory*
*start Harry's memory*
I fidgeted slightly, not looking my boyfriend in the eyes.
"I'm pregnant."
There was a long silence.
"…Are you fucking kidding me?!" Draco shouted, stalking over to me and grabbing my arm hard, hauling me out of the chair I was occupying, and tugging on it to the point of pain.
"No. Madam Pomfrey told me this morning. I've been having morning sickness for over two weeks, and she told me I was about six weeks pregnant," I murmured quietly, still not looking at him.
"Well, you're getting rid of it. Right now. I don't want it," Draco replied harshly.
I willed away the tears burning behind my closed eyelids, but they were stubborn, and eventually spilled over.
"I want the baby," I whispered, whimpering when Draco's hand tightened around my forearm.
"…What?" Draco's voice was deadly calm. It did nothing to soothe my nerves.
"I want to keep our baby," I said in a slightly stronger voice, finally looking my boyfriend in the eye for the first time since he started punishing me, which was months ago. His gray eyes narrowed dangerously.
Tonight, for the first time in a long time, I wanted to die.
*end memory*
*start Harry's memory*
I watched my boyfriend behind the corner of the hallway as he kissed her. My heart shattered as I watched him smile and murmur sweet nothings into her ear, and watched her smile in return. It had been so long since he had held me that way, kissed me that way, talked to me that way. I didn't even leave my dorm room anymore. Headmistress McGonagall had given me special permission when Madam Pomfrey explained my situation to her.
I had decided to roam the hallways under my Invisibility Cloak, when I stumbled upon Draco and Pansy Parkinson.
I quickly turned around and left.
*end memory*
*start Harry's memory*
I rubbed my slightly protruding stomach gently. My child was inside there. My baby; the only thing that kept me here in this world.
I jumped slightly when Draco opened the door to my room and slammed the door loudly. I frowned slightly. He hadn't been here to visit me since I told him about the baby and punished me. Well, except from when he had gone to take me away from Professor Snape's room.
He walked quickly over to me and pulled me to my feet. He looked me in the eyes, a crazed glint in his gray irises. I trembled in fear, but didn't lower my gaze.
That had been my first mistake.
The second one was when I prevented him from hurting my stomach.
He beat me mercilessly, never stopping. I tried to protect my baby, but when I saw the blonde boy pull out his wand, I knew my baby wouldn't survive.
The last thing I felt before pain blinded me and I lost consciousness, was a slight nudge from my unborn child.
*end memory*
*start Harry's memory*
I stumbled when I apparated to Godric's Hollow, holding the large Pensieve in my arms and the parchment note. I didn't have much time before Draco or someone else found me.
I walked quickly through the wards and into the house. I walked up the stairs into my old room where my baby crib was. I placed the parchment on the floor, and started to pull out my memories with my wand and placing them in the bowl.
I reached over for the large blade, holding it loosely in my hand, weighing it. I gripped it harder as I remembered why I was here.
My friends had always ignored me after the war. None of the teachers ever showed any concern towards me. Everyone was wrapped up in their own little world. Draco had been the one to make me happy, if only for a little while before he started abusing me. I had sought out Professor Snape for protection from Draco for my baby; I had known that he would rid me of my last happiness. I knew that if Draco wanted our baby dead, he would make sure it died.
I sobbed harshly into the empty room, my breaths sounding unnaturally loud in the silence of the house.
I sliced my wrists to the bone, then proceeded to cut the rest of my arm, to make sure they wouldn't be able the revive me. By the time they found me, I would be long dead. I hoped that no one blamed themselves. Usually, when someone ended their life, everyone suddenly found themselves full of guilt and blame. It wasn't their fault; I just couldn't take it any longer. My life had no reason. I had defeated Voldemort; I had pretended that I was fine and happy with life; I had pretended to be alive, when in reality, I was already dead. I was just making sure no one would hurt me any longer.
And I missed my baby. I hoped to go wherever my baby and parents and family were.
I looked at the Pensieve I had filled for Snape, and hoped he at least would look at it someday. That way he wouldn't feel guilty for refusing to help me. I was okay with this.
I weakly lifted my wand for one last memory just as alarms sounded, letting me know someone was trying to get past the wards. I felt the defenses go down, and knew that people were rushing towards the house, intent on stopping me. I let the memory fall into the Pensieve just as blackness took over.
"It's not your fault…Severus."
They were too late.
*end memory*
Severus resurfaced and stared at the Pensieve bowl. His breath was harsh with the silent sobs racking his body.
Oh, how he wanted nothing more than to curl up and die right then and there.
Here Harry was, dead and long forgotten, forgiving him for indirectly causing his demise through his memories. There was one last memory in the Pensieve, but Severus didn't dare look at it. He knew what it held. He knew what Harry had put into the bowl before he died. He himself vividly remembered.
*flashback*
Harry looked at the Potion's Master, unshed tears in his eyes.
"But Severus-" he was interrupted.
"Don't you DARE call me that, Potter. Get out of here. Now! I hate you, I despise you, I find you entirely despicable, and I never want to be in your presence again! LEAVE!" Snape ranted before opening the door to his rooms and pushing Harry forcefully out.
Just as he closed the door, he heard a quiet murmur that filled him with guilt and shame.
"But I love you, Severus."
*end flashback*
Snape slumped against his desk, tears still running down his cheeks silently. He couldn't believe Harry's love for him had still held after that incident. It always filled him with self-loathing just thinking about what he had done. Maybe if he had accepted the boy's offer for a relationship, he would still be alive. Draco would've never touched him. Draco wouldn't have beaten him, abused him, and practically raped him. Draco wouldn't have killed his own child.
If Severus had told Harry the truth of his feelings that night, they would be together, happy. With little beautiful, black-haired, green-eyed children. They would most likely even be married.
It had been two years since Harry Potter has committed suicide. And Severus still blamed himself. Because he knew. He knew it was his fault. Even if Harry thought otherwise.
The Potion's Master walked unsteadily over to his potion's cabinet, and pulled out a small vial. It was a vivid green, like Harry's eyes had been.
He unstopped the cork, and stared at the potion. He knew that if he tried to continue like this, he would soon go insane. He wouldn't let that happen.
He downed the potion quickly, and let the vial fall to the floor, hearing it shatter as it made contact with the stone floor.
Severus felt himself collapse, and before darkness claimed him forever as well, he uttered his most deep, dark secret he had kept hidden for years.
"I love you…Harry."
And he too, succumbed to sweet death.
Hey again, darlings. Just reminding you peoples to please leave me a review telling me what you thought. Bye! *waves and falls asleep finally*