I don't own pokemon in any way possible. So don't sue me, cause if you do, I'll hire a lawyer and charge you for causing me irrational stress.
Sleep. A natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement, and responsiveness to external stimuli; in short, mans second, maybe first, best friend next to dogs. It was something euphoric and ritualistic; it was something magical and sacred. No other foreign entity could stop this natural force of good that helps the body to recover-
Thump
I groaned as I felt something land on my chest. It wasn't heavy, nothing like that at all; in fact...it felt like nothing. Though it did knock the wind out of me for a few milliseconds, but apart from that? I continued to sleep.
Boing. Boing. Boing
I groaned even louder as the thing on my chest began to jump up and down. Usually if it was someone else, I would have just ignored it, but the bouncing was becoming incessantly bothersome. It was like playing on a level of Prince of Persia, only the player doesn't know where to go, how to get to another area, and fail every time he tries to get there-
The bouncing finally made me twitch as I opened my eyes to see who it was to try to mess up with my beautiful ceremony of the human psychological nature-
I blinked, as an orange, oval-shaped eyes, stared at me.
I stared back.
It blinked.
I blinked back.
Now I may not have the best grades in my school, but I am pretty sure that this bastard isn't part of any animal species in my world. I'm not even sure if this guy is actually a "guy".
It stared at me as its orange eyes blink rapidly. What was on me, to simplify, was a cotton...a freaking cotton with eyes.
I was staring at a light orange, circular...thing. With a bit orange, puffy sections on the top of its head and its underside. To make things even more stranger orange furled, notched leaves were on the sides of its body.
I can't believe I'm saying this...
"Cottonee?"
...but I have a freaking Cottonee on top of me.
"...what the hell?"
JoshuaChung presents...?
A Godforsaken Pokemon Self Insert Stories featuring many OC's...
The Most F'd Up Pokemon Journey Eva!
((Few hours ago))
"Hi. My name is Joshua Chung. Welcome to my life. I shall now bore you with excruciating detail about how nothing happens in my life. My life is so boring that you might develop narcolepsy from the sheer boredom- OW!"
I was walking to my friend's house while writing down what I was saying; because of that, I wasn't paying attention and tripped over a rock.
"Oh screw this!" I shouted as I got back up and tossed my papers out into the bushes. I went around to the back of the house to his tool shed. That's where he told me to go on the phone. He said we're gonna go catch some red thingy… I tried to open the door but it was locked from the inside.
"Emanuel! It's me! Let me in!"
"Hold on! I'm working on something in here."
"I swear to God, if you're jacking off in there again I'm gonna-."
"I don't jack off! Just shut up and wait outside." I sighed and sat down on the ground. I could hear banging and the sound of saws from inside the shed.
"Wow. It sounds like you jack off to saws and hammers now El…"
"I don't jack off! These saws and hammers are pivotal to the grand enterprise we shall soon be undertaking!" He said enthusiastically.
"Grand enterprise? We're not jacking off on T.V are we?" I guess I got on Emanuel's last nerve because he immediately stopped what he was doing and rammed the shed door open.
"KNOCK IT OFF!" He screamed in my ear. I cringed and stood back up.
"You're such a spaz El…" I said. His shout caused a ringing in my left ear so I could barely hear what I said. He pulled out two ten foot poles from the back of the shed. Emanuel seemed to have duck taped a chainsaw to the top end of each one. He handed one to me. I nearly fell backwards from the weight of the makeshift weapon.
"What the hell is this thing for?" I said while trying to keep it from falling.
"Weren't you paying attention when I called you? We're gonna catch the Giant Squid I saw on T.V."
"Giant Squid?" There were several things wrong with this plan.
"Yeah, a giant ass squid. Let's go!" He turned to leave the suburbs but I caught him by his collar first.
"El. This is stupid."
"Why?"
"Several reasons. One, Giant Squids are like three times bigger than us. Two, those giant squids are mean and nasty. Third, we don't have any guns to protect ourselves. Fourth, chainsaws on sticks won't do anything to a giant squid. Fifth, pardon my language but that thing will fucking kill us! And if you just taped these things together then what was the hammering for?"
"Not sure. And we are going to catch the Giant Squid. And I have one reason that overrides your five. Guess what is." Emanuel is a natural optimist and whenever I try to talk him out of something, he always ignores me.
"What?"
"Chicken butt. Let's go!" Emanuel wheeled around me and dragged me, by the collar of my shirt, towards the suburb's exit.
"Let me go! I don't want to go!" No matter how much I tried, I couldn't break away from his grasp. In a matter of minutes he dragged me all the way to the ocean. It wasn't because he's stronger than me; it was because...well I was just too lazy to do anything at the moment. By the time we got to the beach, I was suffocating. El finally noticed this and let go.
"Sorry about that Josh- HEY! YOU GET YOUR BITCH ASSES OUT OF HERE!" An old man and a girl about me and El's age were already at the beach. They were looking pretty disappointed by something. The old man (who I'm gonna pointy mustache man for now) turned to face Emanuel and I.
"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth young man?" Mustache man asked.
"Huh? Of course I don't make out with my mother!"
"That's not what he meant El..." I said. The girl that was with mustache man kept staring at us. There was something in her eyes that told me she was afraid of me and El. Frankly, I would be too if a cursing maniac and his friend just barged in on you.
"Get away from this beach you sick fetishist! The Giant Squid is mine, you fat twine ball of a butt pounding, weird mustache having, teenage girl raping, poorly dressed, ASS IN A HAT!" El ranted. I brushed past my Hispanic friend to talk with the old man without El screaming in my ear.
"Um, sorry about El. He's a dumbass." I told him.
"PENIS SUCKING VAGINA LICKER!" El ranted. He was still mad that these people got here before us.
"Um, have you guys captured the Giant Squid yet?" I asked.
"No, I'm afraid you boys are mistaken. The Giant Squid is in the Mediterranean Sea. We came here to find a species much rarer then the Giant Squid but it looks like we've been mistaken as well. But our other plan for this place shouldn't come back to haunt us… Come along Dawn." Mustache man and Dawn walked past El who was still ranting out curse words.
"Episcopalian Jew faced turd!"
"EL FOR CHRIST SAKES! THEY LEFT!" Emanuel quieted down and finally realized he was doing something stupid. "Great job douche bag. We came here for no reason."
"Quit complaining. Hey, what's that?" He dropped his chainsaw on a stick to the ground and pointed to a patch of grass behind me. There was a small brown bag nestled among the weeds. El and I opened it to see what was inside...
"Gameboys?"
"Correction, Nintendo DS."
"These must be that guy's stuff," I said with a frown. Unlike most people, I rarely play with them.
"Cool! Let's steal them!"
I looked at it before pressing the power button on...
Loading...
"What the hell is this piece of this!" El roared as he threw the damn thing into the ocean. I looked at it...before pocketing the small device into my pocket. "No idea...but I'm going home."
"What!" El demanded as his eyes twitched dangerously.
"Look, the giant squid isn't going to be here. You heard the guy, it's over at the Mediterranean sea-" I stopped and blinked.
"El...what the hell are you doing?"
"Stripping." Indeed, he only has his boxer on.
"Um...why?"
"I'm going to the Mediterranean!" he roared as he dove right into the ocean. I watched as Emanuel tried to swim through the tides, but fail.
"Right..."
"Hey Josh, I thought you were going to hang out with Emanuel today?"
"Change of plans." I explained to him as I handed him the DS. "I found this DS but it's not loading up, could you check out what's up with it?"
He looked at it before nodding his head. "I'll see what I can do for it," he said as he invited me in.
The entrance yawned on a corridor whose floor was littering with papers and various objects, as though a bomb had hit the place and scattered everything everywhere- but Jorge didn't seem to be bothered by the mess.
"You really need to clean this place up once in a while." I muttered as I accidentally kicked over some pile of papers to the side.
"And you should seriously change to Geico to save 50% on your car insurance." It was just one freaking car crash!
"Screw you."
"Love you to." He said as he handed me back the DS. "Try it now."
I took the large gray DS before I placed my Pokemon White into the game cartage. Entering into the title screen I pressed start, when something different came out of the screen. Instead of the usual Nintendo screen, or the loading screen, a blue entered in my screen. "What the hell?"
Preparation for the Alighieri Thesis.
Completion...91%...94%...
"Hey Jorge!" I called out as I heard papers topple towards the ground. "W-What?" he asked as I walked over to him and showed him what was on the DS. He examined it before pressing a few buttons on his DS. He pressed the power button to turn it off...
"That's strange..." he murmured as he fondled with the game once more, before handing it back to me. "Gimme a second to look this up." I nodded my head before I noticed that whatever it was preparing for...it was done.
Preparation for the Alighieri Thesis...100%...
Would you like to activate it?
Yes/No
Jorge chuckled dryly. "T-This is crazy..." I heard him mutter as I stared at the message for a while. Before I knew it, I was already taking out the stylus of the DS and pointing over towards the No button...
Suddenly, for some odd reason, I stopped. I stared at the second choice on the button...
"Apparently... the Alighieri Thesis is some sort of program..." he muttered, but I wasn't listening to him. In fact, my stylus moved from the no...to the yes.
"Josh, whatever you do you can't press yes- WAIT!" I jumped, and stared in horror as the stylus touched the button on the right...and in a flash, my world began to distort.
"JOSh! DamN It! NO!" Jorge's distorted voice echoed into my head as I felt the DS slipping from my grasp. I stumbled around, trying to regain my balance, but to no avail. I tripped and hurtled towards the wooden floor as Jorge's cries began to grow even more foreign. The world began to spin and spin as papers flew around like vultures circling around their preys.
"F...Fuck..." I whispered before I finally went into the dark.
So that's it? I fell unconscious and I'm right now I'm in Wonderland? Only Wonderland is replaced with cute and cuddly Pokemons?
...What's even more strange is how well I'm actually taking this...
"Cottonee!" Oh right. Pokemon. On my chest...
What to do in this situation...
Attack
Defend
Spell
Run
Item
So many options...
"Cottonee?" I picked the little cotton off of my chest and stared at it for a second...before placing it onto the ground. "Since Cottonee is here...does this mean I'm in the Unova region?" I muttered before I felt a tug on my pants. Looking down I saw the small Cotton Puff Pokemon staring at me before, with incredible feats of agility, hopped onto my head.
"Cottonee!" It exclaimed with joy as my eyes twitched.
"You sonuva-"
The pokemon fell asleep.
"You lazy sonuva-" I took a deep breath and calmed myself. It's not going to help me much if I cursed my ass off of a sleeping Pokemon. I looked around and scratched my head, trying my best not to disturb the small Cotton Puff Pokemon.
"Your lucky that I have a soft spot for cute and cuddly things..." I muttered with a blush as I slowly looked around my surroundings... from the looks of things I'm guessing I'm in some kind...of meadow? From afar, I could see mountain ranges filled with trees and other greens that were almost as same as the greens that I was standing on top of. The clear blue sky illuminate clearly with the sun, that was partially covered with small clouds.
All in all...it was Mother Nature at her finest.
"Where the hell am I suppose to go?" I muttered as I started to go downhill.
I continued to walk on the grass as I looked around the world. It was beautiful, I wouldn't lie about that, but right now, I miss civilization...
...even though it's only been ten minutes.
"Cott...oneee..." At least one of us was having a nice time...
I groaned as I sat on top of one of the rocks and glanced up at the sky.
"I'm hungry, and not only that, but I really want to sleep..." I said with a weak yawn. If only I had a magical genie, I would have wished him to make me a nice, beautiful cottage up on that hill that I was on, with furniture and food...
Maybe if I have time I can go back and just check the place out...
...nah I'm way too lazy for that kind of crap.
I turned westward and strolled towards one of the different paths that were around here, and after a few minutes, I cam across something I'd wouldn't really expect...well not really since I said earlier that this was Mother Nature's finest.
There it was; a lake. One of the most clean and beautiful lakes I've seen for a damn while. Off in the distance – The middle of the lake, I was sure – Was a tiny island, with what looked like a cave of sorts atop it. I would have swam over there to check it out, but since I don't have anything to dry myself off or any extra clothes for all that matter, I won't even bother with it.
I gently took the small Pokemon off of my head and placed it on the ground before kneeling down.I retrieved a small stone from the lake side, and fired it out across the water's surface. One...Two...Three skips. I was defiantly not good at this. I picked up another and launched it out across the lake again. One...Two...Two skip this time around.
I was about to take another one and fire it...when something caught my eye. A light, a bright light on the side.
I looked at what it was...and blinked...
"One out of a fucking thousand..." I muttered, as I saw something unlikely happen right in front of my eyes. The Cottonee that I placed on the ground earlier? It freaking evolved. It didn't vanish, it didn't replace the Cottonee, but it freaking evolved into a small, dark colored, sheep-like Pokémon with a ridiculous white cotton-like substance covering its back, neck, and forehead. It has orange, oval-shaped eyes and blue, curled horns or ears.
The pokemon looked at me and blinked.
"Whim~sicott?" it sang as I blinked.
It blinked back.
I blinked back.
It hopped onto my head once more.
"You sonuva-"
It fell asleep.
"You lazy sonuva-"
I sighed as I felt the pokemon literally snore on my hair. I looked at the annoying bastard with a tired look on my face before I shrugged. "Whatever, it's not like I'm actually going to keep you anyways, so don't blame me if you get caught." I muttered as I picked up another rock and threw it across the water.
I was about to throw another rock when a noise startled me. Exploding out of the trees around the lake area came two flying Pokemon; Pidove, if I wasn't mistaken. But why had they… I glanced down, and uttered yet another curse.
"You've gotta be kidding me, out of all the things that the game had to be real in the real life, why the random encounter in the grass!"
In my haste to examine the recently evolved Whimsicott, I had absentmindedly strolled into the tall grass, and cause of that I probably pissed off the Pidoves.
What the heck were birds doing in the grass anyway? They had plenty of trees to choose from!
The twin Pidoves launched themselves towards me as I glanced at them...
...before kneeing one of them on the face, knocking one out efficiently. The other Pokemon faltered for a second which gave me the other opportunity to punch the small Pokemon away from me. Startled the small pokemon flew away before I fell onto the ground with a gasp.
"That...scared the crap...out of me..." I muttered with a gasp as the Windveiled Pokemon yawned and looked down at my face with a curious glance, "Whimsicott?"
"...and I'm extremely jealous of you. You don't get to do anything..."
"Whim!"
'How far did those stupid birds chase me anyway? I don't have a clue where I am!'
After throwing a few more rocks, I decided to get the hell out of here...only...the thing is, those little bastards that I beaten up earlier? They had friends...
So yeah, I ran my ass off getting away from those pigeons, or whatever the hell the race of those pokemon was. After a while, I finally lost them...but now I face another dilemma...
Panting and fatigued, I skidded to a stop, trying to get my bearings. I'd been running for nearly fifteen minutes, in the direction I THOUGHT was civilization. The little Whimsicott, that was still on my head, slept, and showed no signs of waking.
"Gotta think, gotta think, gotta think… Ah, I can't think with all this noise!" I cried, realizing only a moment later that the only one making noise was myself.
'I've got to calm down so I can think straight.' I told myself, in an effort to calm and let my brain do… Well, what some others did best, and what I was about average at myself; think. Still lost deep within the trees, I looked around every which way, in hopes of some familiar landmark, or anything that would lead me anywhere towards civilization. Sadly, nothing revealed itself, and I could feel my own frustration building and festering madly within my mind. Why the hell did this happen to me?
Damn it! I really wish someone just pop out of no where and tell me it's going to be alright...
"It's going to be alright!"
Blink.
Pause.
Blink.
What? I looked around...and blinked when I saw a wavy brunette, with a ponytail tied with a blue bow, pumping both her fist in the air. She's a bit tan, and a few inches shorter than me...somewhere around 5"7 or 5"6. From one glance I could tell she doesn't go out as much as other people do, why? Cause she's skinny as hell. Sure, I could tell, she's kinda curvy, but I can see from here she didn't go out that much. Also, she's not wearing the proper clothes to go out. Like the fact that she's wearing long sleeves, light blue shirt, that exposed her shoulders. Black shorts, and boots...
Well...I can't say the same, I mean I'm only wearing a dark v-neck shirt and jeans; the only thing that's helping me in this terrain is my white Nike running shoes.
Suddenly she stopped...and gasped. "Luka! Where are you!" I watched as she turned around and- Holy sh!t on a f*cking sandwhich... she's not "kinda" curvy...she is curvy. I mean damn, look at those melons! That light blue shirt is doing justice, hugging her breasts and hips at the right places. I mean if you were in my shoes, you'd be dropping the pants and start wacking.
Fortunately I have class, and I learned the proper way of avoiding embarrassing situations like this...
"Holy sh!t on a f*cking sandwich..."
Whisper how curvy the girl is...
Damn it, I can't finish my sentence cause of this damn puppy biting my leg, if only if this little piece of crap wasn't-
Wait...puppy?
I looked down to see a tan-colored, dog-like Pokémon. It has large eyes and a red nose, with its face covered by an abundance of cream fur. Its large ears have spiky lower extensions. Its fur puffs about above its paws, and its back has a spiky black stripe. Its tail is spiky and shaped similarly to the ears...
...my eyes twitched as it kept gnawing at my leg.
"Bastard! Get off of me!" I roared as I heard a gasp.
"Luka! No!" I heard the girl scream as she ran over towards me. She rummaged through her pockets and brought out a ball. Small, with colors of red and white on the respective top and bottom, and what I could only assume was a button on the front.
She pressed the button and it quickly enlarged to fit in her hand.
"Return!" She called as the small dog turned bright red. To my shock it dematerialized into a small red light and quickly went into the ball.
"What...the..." before I could finish what I wanted to say the girl got on her knees and bowed. "I profusely apologize for Luka, he just has a habit of biting strangers."
I stared at her... and back at the ball...before back at her, and noticed that she was kneeling on small pieces of stones...
"Um...it's cool, but aren't your knees hurting right now?" I asked as she blinked, "No...not really?"
I winced.
"Um...right. You know you can get up now?" She smiled as she slowly got off the ground. "So...who the hell are you?"
"I'm Taylor, Taylor Kellings."
"Joshua Chung." I introduced myself as she looked up at the Whimsicott...
"You know, you have a nice hair. I like it!" I blinked.
"I beg you pardon?"
"The white afro." She said as she points at the Whimsicott...
"Um...actually it's a pokemon." She blinked before she gasped. "You can grow pokemon instead of hair?" I facepalmed.
"No, this is a Pokemon that's just on my head." She blinked.
"Why do you-" I sighed as I picked the little bastard off of my head, much to the Pokemon's displeasure.
"Whimsicott!" it cried as Taylor looked at it...and stared.
"Isn't the color of it's ears suppose to be green?" She asked as I looked at the Pokemon that I was holding in my hand. "I dunno, is it suppose to be green?"
"Yes, it's suppose to be actually green instead of blue." I stared at it...before I broke out a full grin.
"Taylor...are you thinking what I'm thinking?" she stared at me, bamboozled. "What are you thinking, Mr. Chung?" She asked politely as my grin grew even wider. "I can sell this bastard for...five...billion dollars or something!"
She gaped, now usually normal people would try and stop something horrendous...but...
"Isn't that alot of money?"
"That's the whole point." I said with a nod, before I stopped...
"Say...what gender is this guy?" I pulled the blank looking Whimsicott up at my face...
...before flipping it upside down. The Pokemon was squirming and trying to cover the bottom part of it's body.
"Um...Mr. Chung, what are you doing?"
"I'm checking to see if this thing has a vagina or a dick. It's the fastest way to see if it's a boy or a girl." I said as I struggled to remove it's hands away from it's pelvis area, but to no avail. Every time I tried, it kept covering with it's over hand.
"Oh forget this!" I said as I threw it up in the air. Which in a few seconds slowly floated down back to my head.
"Oh my! You have white hair?"
I groaned.
It's not a good start but hey it's me.
So anyways I'm rewriting this whole damn story. Only without Amy.
T_T
However I'll do my best to try and please the audience!
Oh and for those who want to send in their OC please do the following.
1. send it by PM, I will immediately reject any OC send via review.
2. follow the OC skeleton, if you guys don't. Rejected.
So here you go!
Name: (First and last; middle is optional)
Age: (go Crazy. I need a lot of different ages)
Gender: (Male/Female)
Nationality: (If your going with the Alighieri Thesis)
Birth Place: (Both Country and City)
Birth Place (2): (If your born from the Pokemon World)
Picture: (If one, just put a few spaces in there and I'll get the link) {This is Optional}
Physical Description: (hair color, eye color, body shape, ect. Give me as long as a description as possible :3)
Personality: (how does your character act/feel. Give me a long description for them)
History: (What made your character they way they are today? How did they get into the world of Pokemon? Did they Get here by the Aligiheri Thesis? Long description please?)
Theme song: (OPTIONAL)
Pokemon Team: (1-6 please. And keep in mind that the younger kids won't have as many as the older people unless their parents gave them some or whatever. No legendaries, made up, or unusual pokemons {For example a Gallade that's a female}. Include name(if any), personality, gender and species as well as anything else.)
Legendary that Relates to them most: (Please someone put Groudon or Zekrom or something else besides Lugia. Also, this isn't your favorite, this is the one that is most like your character)
Alright let's make this work you guys!