Life Without You

Oneshot

Connor Temple rubbed his eyes, red and puffy. It was an odd sensation. He felt…lost and alone, but filled of determination as well. He was doing everything. He was doing everything for Cutter. Breathing for him, working for him, living for him. If he hadn't had those thoughts on his mind, he most likely would've jumped off a bridge by now.

He was never one who took death very well. It always affected him more than it should…especially when the damn man that died acted more like a father than his own.
"No, no…not again, please not again!" He mumbled angrily to himself. "I don't want to cry anymore,"

'Weakling. Idiot. OVER-EMOTIONAL!' He shouted in his head. Self-esteem most obviously wasn't his forte and it hadn't been one since he was, what? Ten? But then the bullies went after him and it all slowly dropped until he couldn't help but insult himself over tiny little quirks. Abby tried to help, she really did…but it was hard to help a stubborn man who thought he knew everything.

"Connor…"
He jumped, hearing another voice besides his own. Softer, more caring…Abby.
"Hm?" The man tried to hide, wires and gizmos and hats and fingerless gloves all around him.
"I'm going home," She said. "are you coming with?"
"I've got to finish this…"
"No." She shook her head. "No you don't. You can finish it in the morning. Sleep is more important…sleep helps you function."
"Abby, this is important!" He shouted. "I need to finish this before we do anything else, Abby, please!"
"…Connor, you need to start listening." Abby walked up behind him. "I'm telling you, in the morning…everything will be just a bit more clear."
"But-"
"No buts." She shushed him quickly, putting her fingers over his lips. Immediately stopping him from doing much of anything.

Contact wasn't much of Abby's thing. Punches and kicks…that's what she liked, that's how she showed her friendliness. A couple hugs thrown in randomly and you've got Abby's 'intimate' and 'affectionate' moments.

"What're you doing?" He wondered.
"Quieting you down," A small smile appeared on her otherwise sad face. "If I'd known it'd be this easy, I would've done it long ago."
"I-I…" Words slipped his mind and he just left it at that.
Sensing he had given up what he was going to say, she grabbed his hand instead. "Come on, let's get home…"

There was no protest whatsoever. They left the ARC shattered, broken, and solemn. The others were upset, but not as upset as those two were. The two that'd known him the longest, the two that were the closest to him. The two that he treated as children and they loved every moment of working with him.

Everything was quiet as they arrived at the flat. It was as if Sid, Nancy, and Rex knew to quiet down and be obedient, as this had been the routine for quite sometime now. Since the death. Since that day the two of them came home sobbing and none of the animals could rectify it. So they just learned to adjust to their master's new behaviors. It's what animals did. They adapted.

"Hey," Abby said to the animals, half-heartedly. "I've missed you three…"
Rex nuzzled up against her shoulder and Sid and Nancy scampered off to try to make Connor smile. It was as if while the two of them were at work, they planned this.

"Hey you two," He sighed, lying down on his couch, which in fact he disliked completely, but he'd rather not annoy Abby by asking for a new one. "How're you?" Without waiting for much response, he watched them curl up next to him, making squeaking noises. As if sympathizing.

He broke down again, crying and crying and crying. Until he couldn't cry anymore, actually. His heart hurt, his brain hurt, his everything hurt at the moment. Abby told him it was helpful, it'd make him feel better, crying was the answer to everything. Crying and much, much ice-cream.

"Want some?" Abby held out a carton of chocolate ice-cream. "I was planning on just eating from the carton and well…figured we might as well share, yeah? You're upset too…wouldn't want to be selfish."
He shakily nodded and she tossed a spoon towards him. Ushering the diictodons off the couch, she sat down next to him and without speaking, they stared at the blank telle screen.

"Abby…" Connor finally said, looking over at her.
"Yes?"
"…I'm sad." He finally admitted.

Putting an arm around him and leaning her head into the crook of his neck, she nodded.

"Yeah…I am too…" Tears started falling from her face. "But this is life without him…and I suppose it's something we've all just got to get used to. There won't be another leader like him, but at least him and Stephen can be together again…"
"And Tom…" He agreed. "Once he gets past his incredibly annoying, dorky, paranoid side, I'm sure Cutter would love him…just as I did."
"Maybe he'll find that woman named Claudia he'd always been talking about…"
"Maybe." Connor stuffed the ice cream in his mouth and the two went silent, sitting on the couch just like that, neither of them wanting to move first.

Neither of them wanting to abandon each other.

Because in this life without Professor Nick Cutter,

they needed to hold together. Closer, tighter than before in all attempts to make sure it didn't happen again.

Truthfully, I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I JUST MISS CUTTER SO MUCH!