unbeta-ed. AU inspired by JKR's short prequel story about James and Sirius. Muggle Police Remus.
"Get off the bike!" bellowed Fisher at the smirking youths. Remus was contemplating on pointing out that Fisher's vein was looking perilously close to bursting from Remus's angle.
What Remus expected to be an early night off turned out disastrous as they cornered in an alleyway two men who appeared to be in their late teens—possibly only two or three years younger than Remus, and he was the youngest at their department.
He and Fisher embarrassingly maneuvered at the tiny space left between the walls and the car when they got out. Remus internally thanked his thin frame while watching Fisher struggle with his belly (he dreaded the day he would reach that point in the force).
The miscreants obeyed, though it seemed as if they enjoyed the attention brought by the light blaring at them. Fisher's scathing glare at the two did nothing to wipe the matching smirks off their faces.
Remus got a proper good look at them—the one who had been sitting at the pillion was a bespectacled man, with his dark hair sticking at odd directions; the driver has a long black mane and ridiculously good looks with an air of insolence. His smirk turned to a lopsided grin when his attention turned to Remus, eyes raking up and down his unflattering uniform, whistling appreciatively at him that Remus had resisted the urge to hide. Instead, his face felt warm at the saucy wink he received—thank god it was evening.
He was an officer, for Christ's sake! He shouldn't be reacting this badly.
Though if they were in a more decent situation, Remus was totally sure the driver was his type.
Fisher seemed to have taken offense at what they were wearing as well, and Remus bet his companion remembered his daughter's no good rock band member boyfriend that he never approved of. Remus squinted his eyes and saw an image of a large golden bird on their shirts.
"No helmets!" Fisher yelled. "Exceeding speed limit—by a considerable amount!" The speed Fisher registered was way beyondpossible for any motorcycle, in fact. "Failing to stop for the police!"
"We'd love to stop by for a chat," said the one with glasses, "only we were trying—"
Remus cleared his throat, interrupting with a calm voice before Fisher could yell some more; he began pitying Fisher's voice. "Unfortunately, the stunts you did mean trouble for the both of you." Remus clicked his pen. "Names?"
"Why don't you tell me yours first, Sugar?" said the long-haired man in what sounded like a purr, getting closer to Remus in a few springy steps. "And then I'll tell you mine."
If only the man wasn't ticking all the boxes in reckless driving (because Remus was sure as hell he caught a faint whiff of alcohol from this man's pleasant smell of aftershave and something woodsy and—okay, I better stop now), Remus would have been flattered at the blatant flirting.
"Tough sell," the driver said, while his glasses friend was listing names such as Wilberforce, Bathsheba, and Elvendork (Are those even names?), much to Fisher's ire. "I'm Sirius."
"I'm serious too, sir," Remus quipped, frustrated that he wasn't enjoying a cup of hot tea and a good book at the moment; or better yet, getting the number of this handsome man for outside work purposes. "Please. Your name?"
"That is my name. Sirius. S-I-R-I-U-S." Sirius—God help Remus if that name was supposed to be a joke—had the gall to look fairly amused. "Yours?"
"None of your business," Remus said evenly, causing Sirius to pout adorably (not!), impressive gray eyes wandering to his torso, as if searching for something. Remus flushed under the intense wandering gaze, and was alarmed at Sirius's triumphant look when he found his name badge. Remus covered it with his free hand. "Your last name?"
"I won't tell since we're quits now… Lupin." Sirius's voice went an octave lower when he added, "Or should I call you Officer Lupin?"
That definitely didn't go straight to Remus's southward places.
Thankfully, Remus was saved from spluttering indignantly when he heard Sirius's bespectacled friend said rather loudly to Fisher: "Oh? Our names, did you mean? You should've said! I'm James Potter, and my good mate over there is Sirius Black!"
Followed by Fisher's furious: "You cheeky little—"
Suddenly, Sirius and James were alert, and for a moment, Remus thought there were reaching for guns from their back pockets; only—
Are those drumsticks?
"Drumsticks?!" Fisher jeered. "Right pair of jokers, aren't you? Right, we're arresting you on a charge of—"
Fisher didn't get the chance to finish as James and Sirius both shouted something that Remus could vaguely recognize as Latin.
A beat later, their patrol car's headlights shone unbelievably bright, hurting Remus and Fisher's eyes. It lasted for full five seconds before the roar of the motorbike could be heard again.
And right before their disbelieving eyes, the motorcycle took off into the air, though not without hovering first over them as Sirius paused and called out to Remus below.
"Call me at my number, Lupin! Will be waiting for your sexy ass on the phone tonight, officer!"
They zoomed away into the night, their tail light twinkling behind them like a vanishing ruby.
At Remus's open notepad, he found scribbled digits that weren't there a while ago. Written underneath the string of numbers was:
You can arrest me next time. ;)
-SB
It was far from how Remus expected his night to turn out.
But what the heck, he still has that phone call to make.
end