Hello everybody, my name is ChristopherWeebling and welcome to How To Beat a Monkey at Chess. THE MUSICAL. RWBY Addition. A One-Shot.
To all of you out there who watch Markiplier, he is an awesome youtuber and an inspiration to us all. Markiplier, I thank you for giving us such art. If you don't think Markiplier is awesome: He played all three Five Nights at Freddy's-es-es-es-es... And he beat the hardest nights on all of them! He is the king of FNAF, and he beat a monkey at chess, it only took a little help from the Game Theorist, The Completionist, and some other guy.
I do not own RWBY or How to Beat a Monkey at Chess.
If there was one think Coco loved, it was proving how awesome she was.
Taking down a Death Stalker with one hand? Of course. Throwing a tank? It's at the other side of the city before you blink! Looking bad ass doing it? *Snap* Eyes off her rear.
But if there was one thing that Coco was not, it was a strategist. She preferred to punch and or shoot through her problems. But really, who wants a girl who can think her way out of any situation when you got a girl who can punch her way out of any situation?
But Ruby would always out-think her, and it drove her crazy! So what? Ruby can beat her at a game of chess. Coco can beat her period.
So can you really blame her for deciding to play the game against the one opponent she could beat? No. But you can blame her for thinking she would look awesome beating a monkey, not a monkey faunus, a full on monkey at chess. But Coco over looked two things:
1. The monkey knew how to play chess.
2. One is an understatement.
Coco looked down at the board to see all of her brown pieces being driven back by the monkey's whites.(A.N. Just so you know, it looks exactly like it did in the video.) Coco just blinked behind her sunglasses, hiding a face of worry as she began formulating a plan. Why she formulated them in music, however, is a mystery.
This piece takes that piece.
But that piece then takes mine.
I can't lose my rook while
I'm lagging way behind!
I'll play safe and wait for an opportunity.
I won't let that cheeky monkey make a monkey out of me!
Coco, in her own delicate yet 'I'm so awesome' fashion(No puns intended) pushed her pawn forwards, a confident smirk plastered across her face.
The monkey then picked up one of it's pieces and took that pawn. Coco pulled her glasses down to reveal her brown eyes full of surprise.
"You've got to be kidding me." Coco said as she leaned back in her seat. She was just glad no one was watching.
"Coco, what are you doing?" She heard a soft voice say.
'Oh no, not her!' Coco thought, but once she looked over she saw the silver eyes of one Ruby Rose observing the board.
"Losing, huh?" Ruby said with a smirk.
"N-no. My and his pieces just got swapped around. I'm white." Coco lied. The monkey then looked at Ruby and shock his head 'no.'
"Right. You need any help with this?" Ruby asked.
"Why would I want you're help, why would you want to help me?"
"Well, you're losing big time, and there's nothing like you owning me a favor."
"No way."
"I help you win the game, and you buy me lunch."
"Not. A. Chance." Coco said as she moved another piece forward. The monkey, in a moment of superior intelligence, takes that piece and throws it at Coco's head. "... Nothing over fifty."
"You are in luck, my dear. I was president of the Chess Club back at Signal." Ruby explained. "They would call me the Pawn-Star."
Coco then hovered her hand over another piece. Suddenly, Ruby burst out into song, while rather quietly.
Wait, C! Don't take it!
That monkey's set a trap!
He wants me to take it?
He thinks you're quite a sap.
But check out this Bishop!
You'll take his piece for free!
And that monkey's got no chance to make a monkey out of me!
Coco did exactly as she was instructed, moving her piece to take her opponent's bishop.
The Monkey then moved a piece and took that piece. Ruby and Coco looked in surprise at Ruby's tacit failing.
"Now that I think about it, I was the only member of the Chess club." The red girl spoke.
"Uh, what are you guys doing?" An extremely dorky voice ask. The duo turned to see Jaune Arc standing there, watching the game with the two rivals turned allies against a monkey. "Do you... Need any help with that?"
"No, it's fine. I got this." Coco said. She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked over to see that blond standing over her.
"You do now." He said.
Let's set a gambit!
We'll take him by surprise...
Not really an option...
He took, like, half my guys...
Let's bring in the big guns
And force his King to flee-
-So that monkey doesn't further make a monkey out of me!
Pushing the attack, Coco watched as history repeated itself as the monkey took her piece.
"Well, I'm outta ideas." Jaune said.
"What?" Ruby asked.
"Aren't you the statistic of your team?" Coco asked.
"I stink at chess." Jaune moped.
"You know what, you two are doing nothing. I was doing fine until you guys came along."
"Took half your guys." Ruby spoke.
"It's fine!" Coco said. "I don't need your help."
"'Help.' Did someone say help?!"
Coco's right palm met her good hand Ms. Face. Face, Palm. Looking over she saw a blond guy with an opened shirt and a monkey tail.
"Who are you?" Coco asked.
"Well, I'-"
"No one important." Ruby said to Coco.
"Probably more important than you though." Coco snarked
"So, playing chess with a monkey, and losing." The new blond asked. "I can translate for you, maybe get him to let you win."
"I'm not sure that's possible." Jaune said.
"You know what, fine. Go ahead." Coco said annoyed. Sun's face lit up before he began doing some weird dance.
"MONKEY LANGUAGE"
[Hello, A Monkey!
I talk in language well!
Are playing a chess you?
Your skill is very swell!
My win wants to friend you, so loser will you be?]
Sun did this weird shimmy in a circle before jumping and then sticking his tongue out at the monkey.
He was instantly hit in the face with one of the pieces he took.
"I think it's my turn." Coco said before throwing one of the pieces she took at Sun.
"Maybe we should just let the monkey win." Jaune said.
"No guys." Ruby said with determination. "We're here gathered today as representatives of Humanity and Faunanity, against a monkey! How long have we been oppressed?"
"About eighty one lines." Coco said with shame at all the pieces she lost in such short time.
"No more." Ruby continued. "No longer. We've been under the monkey's thumb for too long.
"We can beat this monkey. For our fathers. Four our forefathers. For your sword. For your not sword. For Sun's tail.
"A billion monkeys at a type writer, may be able to write Shakespeare. But one monkey will not beat us today. I may ramble, and not know what I'm talking about all the time, but we can win."
Their eyes lit up with motivation.
"Together."
They huddled inwards.
"As one." At this, they unleashed a battle cry.
One of these pieces...
has got to do the trick...
But how can we beat him?
I'd recommend a stick...
It's crazy...
Bananas-
Insane...!
Completely nuts...!
Coco moved her Bishop between the two white pawns at the edge of the board. Out of their reach.
And with a clear shot to the king.
- but I think we made a monkey out of-
-completely made a monkey out of-
-we finally didn't let a monkey
"Check mate." Coco said with all the glee she had.
make a monkey out of us!
They let our a cry of victory, fulled with glee and releasing all the tension from that match. The monkey, discussed by this, violently pushed the board, throwing around the pieces, before leaving.
"Hm, no one likes a soar loser." Coco said.
"Or a soar winner." Ruby added.
"You see, Weiss," Yang said from another table. "That's why I don't play chess. Shit gets intense."
"It is a game of champions." Weiss said before looking back down at the paper in front of the two.
Her eyes lit up with rage.
"WHAT, AGAIN?!" She cried out as she saw that she and Yang, once again, have lost the round of tick-tac-toe. "THAT'S THREE IN A ROW!"
Zwie stared at her with his big, blank eyes.
"HOW DOES HE KEEP BEATING US!? HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE THUMBS!" Weiss questioned her game partner. "SON OF A-"
Zwie whimpered, snapping Weiss out of her rage.
"I'm sure she was going to say 'gun.' boy." Yang said. "Another round. Best out of twelve."
Zwie put down his pencil which was scurried in his mouth and ran off.
And that my friends is how you beat a monkey at chess. Be sure to check out Markiplier's video, and all his videos. And as always. I will read you, in the next upload.
BU-BYYYYEEEEE!
Coco: W-wait, don't I get any recognition? I BEAT A MONKEY AT CHESS!
Ruby: Yeah, with three other people to help you.
Coco: Shut up squirt!