Chapter One: Problem...

Yang just knew today was going to suck.

Sure, it seemed like everything would be fine, just another day of the week. She even had a schedule planned! Finish classes, get some protein for their team practice, and end the day by catching up with her friends from signal. That's how it was supposed to go.

Key word being 'supposed'.

Honestly, the school itself was fine. Each teacher was so unique that it was nearly impossible to ignore the subject. Nearly. Unless it was Ports class, in which case, good luck. The facilities provided to the students were top notch, as well. Between the high-tech training rooms, and the on-site medical practitioners, Beacon had it all. Not to mention a library that could probably double as a bomb shelter.

She couldn't complain about her team, although she might at times just to spite them. The practice they held certainly made it easy to cooperate and understand each other, even if Weiss sorely needed a mute option.

Her friends were still absolutely wonderful to her, so they weren't the cause of her problem either. No, her bad mood was centered around one major issue.

She was smoking hot.

Well, okay, maybe that wasn't really a problem, but it did cause a few issues here and there. Such as today, during the few minutes of freetime that she was unable to enjoy because of the staring, glaring, and otherwise obvious ogling. The attention was a confidence boost, but that could only cover for so much. Not to mention, the attempts at romance that were becoming… tedious.

Group A would convince Person B that she was approachable, fun, and/or interested. B would, after insistent urging by A, find her and ask her out on a date. She would decline, obviously, because who the fuck are you? Never, not even once, had any of these possible dates attempted to get to know her. It was always an introduction of themselves, who and what they were all about, and what feature they liked the most about her. It was flattering, but more often than not it was insulting. They assigned traits to her, looked at actions she took and assumed that was a facet of her personality, and then tried to impress her by 'looking past her beauty'. Nice in concept, great on paper, but a little bit hollow when they could barely keep their eyes on her face. If that wasn't enough, then every time she rejected one, it gave the rest hope that they might succeed.

It would be pretty easy to solve this problem. All she needed was to become unavailable. Although… she wasn't really looking for a relationship. Was this a Catch 22? Probably. Oh well, she had a plan on how to get herself some more peace and quiet, but first she'd need to make sure everyone was on the same page.

Jaune was having a pretty good day.

That's not saying it was anything special, but the classes had been mostly entertaining. His team was walking alongside him to their dorms, having just got back to Beacon from Vale. Nora had decided they needed some 'team bonding', and ended up taking them to a, for lack of better term, unique restaurant. Pumpkin Pete's Perfect Pancake Palace (& Playground) was actually a fun place to be. Not that he didn't trust Nora, but her idea of normal became twisted when pancakes were involved. He was fully prepared to dedicate the rest of this night forgetting the horrible monstrosity that ate 10 servings of the breakfast dish.

10 Family-size servings.

All jokes aside, nothing out of the ordinary had happened today. Nothing too far out of the ordinary at least. He was almost sad that the trip hadn't become some kind of adventure, or that they hadn't somehow stumbled across a secret meeting between pancake gangsters. He blames Nora.

He wondered what Team RWBY had gotten up to today. Would they hear about any crazy terrorist schemes or giant mech fights at breakfast tomorrow? Sometimes he felt some very potent envy of their luck, but it was always tempered by the fact that Team JNPR was called first to help them out. And also because he wasn't too keen on being shot at.

Upon entering the hallway to their dorm, even from this distance, he could faintly see a person leaned against their door. While that wasn't common, it also wasn't out of the ordinary. Unfortunately, there were only a few reasons why someone would wait outside this door in particular. The most prime example being his freaking transcripts, while the most mundane could possibly be a dropped pencil. Jaune might have been a betting man, but he didn't feel too confident about his odds. Maybe he could just bolt as soon as whoever it was started talking, would it be less embarrassing? When he could tell it was Blake, he relaxed, after all, Blake would never do anything to hurt them.

Right?

"Hey guys," She opened. Truly, she was a well-read, upstanding woman, full of interesting things to-.

"We need to talk." Well shit. Was this about her faunus heritage? She was probably mad. Looking at her, and more specifically, her mannerisms, He found exactly what he expected to see. Absolutely nothing he could understand. She seemed pretty relaxed, with the way she was leaning. But then, her eyes had a piercing intensity, condemning them for heinous acts they had yet to commit! Oh! The way she just set her shoulders, that was definitely agitation. And her jaw, so tense! Man, he was really getting good at reading people. Sliding his eyes lower he saw her clenched hands, this must be really serious if it's pissing Blake off.

"A-are you checking me out?" Even the tentative way she said tha-. Wait what?

"No! I mean, no. Not that I wouldn't, but that wouldn't be cool! I mean, the checking you out part. Unless you wanted me to! Erm, not that I think you wanted… I'm going to stop talking now." Open mouth, insert entire leg. Gods, but that was humiliating. Well, if she wasn't mad before, she certainly was now.

"Right. Follow." Correction, she was pissed. As she sauntered into Team RWBY's dorm, he wondered if she wanted his entire team to come as well. Nah, he'd just let them know when this was all over. Probably wasn't all that important to begin with.

"You guy's head to bed, I'll go see what they want, and fill you in tomorrow." There. Short, sweet, and gets to be happy. Except Blake. And probably him, if she told her team about the hallway. And the Janitor, when they have to clean up what is left behind by Team Rampage- uh, RWBY. Maybe this wasn't so good of an idea?

"He flirted with me." She tried not to sound pitiful about it, but honestly, Blake just didn't know Jaune well enough to ever be comfortable with him in that way.

"I'm sure you're just exaggerating." Ruby had just attempted to blow off Blake's concerns. Alright, kiddie gloves, see you later.

"You're right. He spent a full minute ogling me. No flirting there, just perversion." There, try to defend that.

"Jaune. Jaune Arc, the imbecile that could hardly introduce himself to a woman. He ogled you." Yes, Weiss. She was there, and Jaune was there too. With wandering eyes and surprisingly little self-preservation instinct.

"Vomit-boy doesn't have the guts to stare at a girl like that, Blakey. He was probably trying to guess what you wanted to tell them. You did tell them to come over here, right?" Maybe not in as many words, but she told them to follow, and they had better damn well do so.

"Hey g-uh, girls, what's up?" Well, one out of four wasn't the best she could have asked for, but at least she got the important one!

"Where is your team, Jaune?" Shush, Ruby, don't draw attention to such minor details! This was a victory, and Blake was going to enjoy every last bit of it she could!

"It's not that important, Ruby, don't worry about it." Saying thus, Yang turned towards Blake, gently passing a gift from the heavens. A creation filled with the evidences of Divinity, capital D. As the holy symbol began to rest within her arms, a choir of angels spoke deep into her soul, hailing toward-.

It's just salmon. She threw Blake a package of salmon. And yet, if she made one more disconcerting noise, Ruby was going to be moved into the hallway while Yang taught the faunus about the word appropriate. Lord, those noises were going to haunt her for days. Or minutes, depending on how bad this meeting goes. Right, now all she had to do was tell Jaune that they needed to fake a relationship. He'd probably want to know why, but he was normally enough of a pushover that she could probably just pressure him into saying yes.

Which she would never do, honest. Cross her heart.

Okay maybe just this once…

In any case, she also needed to plan out a set of rules they would follow if Jaune seemed to get too enthusiastic about dating The Yang Xiao-Long. Actually, before that, she needed to find a way to break the whole situation down for him. She needed to be truthful and thorough, so that she didn't alienate her sisters first friend. Oh god this could end up so horribly.

Time for the Xiao-Long motto to come into play: Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained.

"Jaune, we need to pretend like we're dating." Welp, at least she was being direct, that had to count for something, right?

A/N

Oops, there I go again, not updating or rewriting any of my other stories. Hopefully this is well received, if not, guess I'll just have to rewrite it, too.

If you'd be so kind as to review, I'd like to know if everything seems believable at the moment. Also, definitely let me know about misspelled words and continuity errors. I'd like to think it'd be pretty hard to mess up too terribly in 1600 words, but I guess I'll never know until it happens.

Have a wonderful day!