An Heir for Your Hair
Summary: Ron Weasley has been gleefully following how Draco Malfoy's hairline has been receding since his son's birth. Correlation does not imply causation, but that does not make Ron any less gleeful. Eventually ScorpiusxRose.
Angelina
"Hey Rose?" 8-year-old Rose Weasley looked up from the book she was currently reading while curled up in her favorite armchair. She smiled at seeing her Aunt Angelina's face in the fireplace.
She went over to the fire and came face-to-face with her favorite aunt. "How's it going, Auntie?"
Angelina smiled back and asked Rose to call her father. "I have news on his favorite person." She confided mischievously.
Rose rolled her eyes and sighed internally. "Scorpius? What's he done this time?"
At those words, Ron eagerly popped his head into the living room. "Spill, Angelina. Another day, another grey hair for Malfoy, eh?"
When Angelina's newest fellow healer at St. Mungo's turned out to be Astoria Greengrass-Malfoy, Ron had shuddered and wondered loudly how confounded the licensing committee must have been. But Angelina had only praise for the newest addition to her group. Apparently, Healer Greengrass-Malfoy was exceptionally gifted and was quickly turning into a crucial member of St. Mungo's Magical Bugs and Diseases department. It seemed almost natural when her husband, the controversial Draco Malfoy, also joined St. Mungo's after training in the United States.
At that news, Ron had groaned even louder and decided that the healers in Ireland were exponentially better. Someone, he glared around angrily as if the culprit were next to him, gave Malfoy (Malfoy!) the license to heal, of all things.
By all accounts, according to Angelina, Healer Malfoy kept to himself. He was polite, but curt. He refused to go to any after-work functions while his wife was quite the social butterfly. She and Angelina became fast friends; her son even came over for occasional playdates with Roxanne and Fred. For some reason, Rose's uncle George also took quite a shine to Scorpius and became the boy's largest supplier of Demon Dung Crackers.
Ron wrinkles his nose at any mention of Draco Malfoy. He was coming around a little though. When he had gotten hurt on a mission, Angelina recommended Healer Malfoy to extract the poison that had managed to solidify in his arm veins. Against Ron's protests that were, granted, somewhat muffled by anesthetic potion, Draco Malfoy had performed some nifty extraction magic that meticulously removed all evidence of the poison from the auror's arm, giving him back full use. So Ron had begrudgingly put his trust into St. Mungo's healers once again.
But Scorpius Malfoy had a special place in Ron Weasley's heart.
"…so Narcissa Malfoy brought him in. Apparently, Scorpius managed to give himself a large handlebar mustache."
Ron roared with laughter. "Couldn't she charm it away herself?" He asked.
Angelina grinned. Well, apparently, she did. But Scorpius kept growing it after each attempt to vanish it. He was also experimenting with color, so it was a bright shocking pink by the time he arrived at St. Mungo's with his grandmother. His parents couldn't convince him to stop sprouting mustaches. He happily responded to his father's threats of taking away his broom by making the mustache grow longer.
Rose rolled her eyes. This Scorpius character sounded terrible. He seemed worse than James, Albus, Hugo, and Fred put together. She shuddered at the thought.
"But I fixed it." Angelina declared triumphantly.
"Yeah?" Her brother-in-law asks. "How'd you manage to do that?"
"Well, I asked him why he kept doing it. Astoria thought it was amusing and started taking pictures of each new beard. Draco was too busy alternating between scolding him, glaring at his giggling wife, and charming away Scorpius's hard work."
"Typical Malfoy."
Apparently, Scorpius pulled out a battered Quidditch trading card from his pocket. His favorite cousin Teddy gave it to him. It's of the oldest seeker in the league, Victor Krum.
Scorpius loved him. Teddy and Krum.
Ron grimaced at the mention of Krum's name and then grunted. Yeah, Krum did have a pretty impressive handlebar mustache.
Scorpius, it turned out, wanted to look exactly like his hero. Mustache and all. Teddy liked Krum. Teddy gave him this card. Scorpius wanted Teddy to like him.
"So who'd you do?"
Angelina, with quick thinking that could rival Hermione Granger-Weasley, charmed the mustache off photo-Krum. Photo-Krum was angry, of course. He fell off his broom after using both hands to cover his now naked face. But, she shrugged. It was for a good cause.
Scorpius left soon after. But not without waving cheerily to Angelina and throwing a few Demon Dung Crackers into his father's office.
"Draco thought he confiscated them all." Angelina added sadly.
Ron's eyes gleamed. "Excellent."
The next day, a package arrived with "For Scorpius" scrawled almost illegibly across the front. The fact that the owl carrying it was able to move past Malfoy wards made it less likely that it was a magically dangerous object. So Draco Malfoy reluctantly opened it at the insistence of his son who had managed to claw his way up his father's back in eager anticipation at the anonymous present.
Scorpius got a lot of anonymous presents.
"Now Scorpius-" Draco started, trying to warn his son that he had final say over whether Scorpius could keep the present that he was actually quite sure where it was from.
"Cool!" Scorpius shouted. "Krum's Quidditch jersey!"
In a blink of an eye, he had the jersey on (backwards) and ran off to show his grandparents the huge glitterly Krummy that was now emblazoned across his chest.
Somewhere in Devon, Hermione Granger-Weasley cast a suspicious look over at her grinning husband.
"This is the life, Hermione." Ron sighed contentedly before closing his eyes and envisioning Malfoy's completely bald head.