Whirlwinds and Butterflies
By: Lime-chan
1
I decided to start writing about what happens here whenever I get the chance to actually turn on my laptop and write freely, without being observed. Why? Because I will type out all my thoughts and feelings into these pages without anyone getting mad, or annoyed at me. Who would get mad, you say? He would. It seems like no matter what I have to tell him, he gets mad for "complaining too much." It's not always that he gets mad at me. Sometimes he actually tries to fix things, but that's not so common. So I have decided to just give up on trying to talk to him about my emotions and insecurities and write them all down instead.
He was a perfectly fine young man when he asked me out. He was funny, he was nice to me, he paid attention to me all the time, he'd always make time for me, he would say some of the sweetest things, and he would make me feel loved and special. That's why I fell in love with him. He was wonderful. He was one of the most amazing people I had ever met.
One time, he wanted to see me, but I was away, with my mom. He waited outside my house for roughly about 2 hours. I remember very clearly that it was raining that day.
When I got home, my eyes started flooding with tears at the sight of him waiting for me by my door, wet hair covering his face, arms crossed, trying to keep warm. I asked my mom for the keys immediately and opened the door to the house and led him inside. Poor thing, though. He got sick right after. "Don't worry, Peachy, I'll get better in no time." He told me after I apologized to him.
Since I was treated like that all the time, it's no wonder we decided to get married.
He loved me and I loved him.
More than anything.
Unfortunately, a few months after, things started changing. He would get frustrated a lot. He would get mad and annoyed at me a lot. I would try to fix things. To talk to him to make him feel better and calm him down. Whenever I'd do this, though, he'd just get madder.
Until one day, he snapped.
Then he snapped again.
And again.
And again…
At first, when I married him, I thought I'd die of happiness. Now I feel like I'll die at his hand. I don't think I have ever been as scared for my life as those times when he snaps. I end up with horrible-looking bruises, bumps, scratches, cuts, and once even a bloody lip.
He's been strangling me a lot more, recently. He'll wrap his hands around my neck and tighten his grip around it. I'd try screaming, but a quiet cough was the only noise I'd be able to make. I'd try taking his hands off, but he's always been very strong. That, and I haven't been eating as much as I should, since there's not a lot of money to buy food, so I've been weak from that.
Whenever he'd loosen his grip, I'd whisper his name, but that would only annoy him more. He'd tighten his grip again and push me against the nearest wall, if not the floor.
My vision would get blurry and dark and I'd feel sleepy, so I'd start closing my eyes. Whenever I'd do this, he'd let go of my neck and grab my wrists.
I'd feel a little happy, since I'd think he was going to apologize. I always think he's going to apologize, even though I always know what's coming next.
He would pull my wrists and push me to the ground and leave me there, or flip me over his back so that I fell to the floor, and start kicking me. He'd be smart, though. He'd make sure not to hit hard enough to break any of my bones. Sure, I'd have bruises, but I'm known to be really clumsy, so we would afterwards say that I fell and got bruises that way.
I once told one of his best friends about this and asked him not to tell anyone. He was shocked, to say the least, but said he'd keep quiet. The very next day, though, he called and threatened my husband. He said he'd call the cops if that happened ever again. He was furious.
"Link…" I tried explaining, "I had to tell someone. You need help."
I was beat up afterwards.
I'm afraid my Link is turning into a monster.