Disclaimer: I don't own Honey & Clover!
How long was it supposed to take until the person you love notices you? How long are you supposed to wait?
Yamada sighed and stopped packing up the pottery, looking out the window into the blackness of the early evening. This time of year was so depressing for her. Everything was dead, not to be reawakened for many months. Until then, you waited. Was that how it was? Were you just supposed to wait, like plants and trees waited for the spring to come so that they could live once more?
Yamada wasn't sure if she was capable of waiting. She had never been a patient person. She sighed again, slowly continuing her packing.
Nature didn't have long to wait. Winter would always come to end. It was inevitable. Nature could wait quietly, complacently, because it had nothing to worry about. It would get its desired outcome. It would always have its spring.
Yamada's security was not so absolute. She had hoped, had always been hoping, that someday he would see. That Mayama would her for her. Not as the goofy Yamada that everyone knew. Not as the old friend. As the girl she wanted him to see. The girl she knew she could be for him.
She was certain she had made her intentions clear. She loved him, there was no doubt, none at all. And Mayama was not interested. What did she have to do? She was stuck now. Yamada did not what to do, where to turn for advice on the subject.
If he really didn't want her, why did he keep leading her on? You never saw the spring leading winter on, just to tell it it didn't feel like coming this year. So then why? Why all the mixed messages?
No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't quite make herself loathe the true object of Mayama's affection. Rika-san had done nothing. In a way, rather than hate her, Yamada envied Rika-san. She had done next to nothing to catch Mayama's attention. Yamada longed to possess whatever it was that had guided Mayama to the unfortunate woman.
She wanted whatever light was inside Rika-san, whatever had made her so worthwhile to him in the first place. She wished she could just make it so. That Mayama would be with her, and no one would have to get hurt.
Bu she knew that was impossible. Someone would have to get hurt. And the way things were going, all signs pointed to her being the one to take the painful blows.
Mayama would never see her as anything more than what she was now. Mayama would never forsake Rika-san. But she had faith that someday he would at least be aware of her devotion to him. That he would acknowledge her as the girl she'd always aimed to be.
So she would wait for him. She would wait for her spring.
AN: Ah... love triangles... gotta love 'em. I always feel so bad for Yamada-san though...