I DREAM of you...
Summary: "I wish this was one of your books, so you could re-write the ending."
But you can't change destiny ( what's already been written down ) - or can you? *AU*
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters; they belong to the fabulous A. W. Marlowe and ABC.
A/N: The idea behind this story belongs to my beloved sister Serality. She allowed me to use it for this story, but it is actually hers.
We're going AU here, guys. So hold on for the ride. This story is set shortly before Castle and Beckett meet for the first time in the series, while Castle writes his last Derek Storm book. Martha lives in her own apartment and Beckett's hair is as long as in season 3, everything else is pretty much the same as you know it.
So, here's the first chapter. Enjoy!
"You're everything my dreams have seen-
but what are dreams?"
(Enya - "Dreams" )
A shot in an alley
He stands there, completely surrounded by darkness. No matter how many times he blinks his eyes, he doesn't see a thing. He slowly stumbles forward, his hands reaching out in front of him, searching for some sort of opposition, something to hang on to. But there's nothing.
He can hear muffled voices, coming from afar, something like "Police, stop!", but he isn't sure. Then he hears something that sounds like a gunshot and a woman scream.
Rick wakes up panting, his heart racing like he just ran a marathon. His whole body is covered in sweat and when he looks at the clock on his nightstand he decides that it is too late already to try to go back to sleep. Not that he could really sleep now.
He gets up, walks into the bathroom next door and takes a shower. When he feels the warm water cascading down his body, the tension from the nightmare slowly leaves his body. He lets out a long breath and shuts the water down.
When he comes into the kitchen to pour himself a coffee, he finds his daughter already there.
"Morning, Alexis." He greets her, putting a kiss to her hair. "Why are you up so early?"
"Da-ad. It's already 6 a.m. and I have to practice a little more for the physics test today." She answers, pointing to her books on the kitchen counter.
He smiles proudly at her, wondering for the hundredth time where she got her discipline from, and starts to make coffee. He sighs when the strong aroma of his expensive coffee hits his nose.
"Another one of those dreams?" she asks, looking intently at him.
"How can you always tell?"
"You've got a certain look when you've dreamt of her. And you're never up this early."
"I didn't dream of her exactly this time…" he says thoughtfully.
"Well, then what was it that made you wake up at 6am?"
"The dream was about her, but I didn't exactly see her this time. But I heard someone scream and I'm pretty sure it was her."
"Oh. That sounds awful. I'm sorry, dad." Alexis murmurs, touching his shoulder to provide a little comfort.
"It was just a nightmare, you know. Don't worry. And now I'll leave you to your studies. I'll be in my office writing a little. Come and say bye when you leave ok?" he reassures her and kisses the crown of her head.
"Of course, dad."
He walks down a street, passes by a clock that says 9:42p.m. and turns right into an alley. It's getting dark very quickly but he sees the sign of an Irish pub very clearly illuminated in a bright green. He walks down the alley and when he turns a corner suddenly all the lights go out. He hears people shouting and although he can barely see his hand before his eyes he makes a run for the direction the voices come from.
"NYPD. Freeze! Espo, Ryan, take this way, I'm following him."
He doesn't need to see the woman; he knows who this voice belongs to. It's her. And he can feel the familiar tingle in his stomach.
When he turns around another corner he stumbles over something and falls to the ground.
And when he looks up again he sees a man standing in the almost darkness waiting for her.
Suddenly he has a gun in his hand and is pointing it in the direction he just came from. And then she comes running around the corner, her weapon in her hand, but when she realizes what the man she's been chasing is up to, it is already too late.
Rick hears the shot and sees her stumble to the ground. She wasn't able to shoot back. The man with the gun makes his escape and Rick gets to his feet and runs to the unknown yet familiar woman only to find her in a pool of blood, staring him down with lifeless eyes.
He wakes up screaming.
"Dad! What's wrong? I just wanted to- Dad!" Alexis shouts, running to her father's side.
"Oh… Uhm…" Rick stutters confused, taking his surrounding in. He sits in his office, his coffee beside him, his laptop open and still lit; he could only have been sleeping for a few minutes. He feels relieved when he finds himself back in his warm and comfortable home instead of this cold, dark alley he saw just a few seconds ago.
"I was just about to say bye when I heard you… uhm… screaming."
"I… uh… I screamed?" he asks disbelievingly.
"Yeah… Another nightmare?"
"Sort of… I mean. Yes. I don't know… But you have to go to school now. Don't worry, I'm fine." He says, attempting his best smile.
"You're sure?"
"Yeah, of course. Go, pumpkin. I'll just write a little more." He tries to convince her. It's not really working.
"Ok, dad. Take care. Bye."
"Bye. Have a good day."
"Richard, are you here?"
"In the kitchen, mother."
"Ah, thank God you're ok."
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"Alexis called me."
His face falls.
"I'm fine, really. I've been having these dreams for two years now. I've seen three different shrinks and have had dozens of MRIs. There's nothing wrong with me. I'm fine."
"Alexis and I are concerned about you, kiddo. She told me you were different this morning." Martha watches him critically as she lowers herself onto one of his barstools.
"The dream was different. It was much more vivid than the ones I usually have. It felt very, very real. Normally I know that I am dreaming, you know, but this time… I really thought it was real. I was quite confused when I woke up and..." he trails off.
"And?" she asks while putting her hand above his on the counter.
"Ah, I don't know, it's nothing." He shrugs her hand off and turns away.
"I can tell that there's something else, kiddo."
"She died." He admits quietly.
"Who died?"
"She."
"Oh…" Martha said surprised.
"Yeah. It was the first time I dreamt something like that. It was horrible. I was there in a dark alley with her. And suddenly there was a man with a gun and – And then she was lying there and – She was – She was… dead."
"That sounds awful…"
"Well, maybe it really is just my overactive imagination. It did help me write some pretty amazing books, after all." He smirked.
"Just… Promise me you will see this doctor on a regular basis."
"I have another appointment already set up, mother. Don't worry."
"Ok, fine. I have an audition now. See you tonight for dinner?"
"Yeah, just come over, I'll cook something nice for the three of us."
"Sounds like a plan. Bye kiddo."
Martha turns on her heels and leaves her son's loft again.
And the smile on Rick's face falls again.
He has a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach and despite his best efforts he hasn't been able to shake it off yet.
It feels as if there has formed a knot in his chest that makes it hard for him to breathe. Something has changed. And he cannot forget the thought that formed and stayed in his mind.
This wasn't just a dream.
And suddenly he feels an urge inside himself, something he can't control. He must do something. What if… What if this is real?
He shakes his head. You're getting insane, Rick. Get a grip.
But those two little words remain in his mind and he literally hears them over and over in his head.
What if…
His sits on his laptop and tries to kill Derek Storm. But despite his best efforts and the deadline he has to fulfil – Gina threatened him again with taking his advance back – he cannot concentrate. His mind wanders back again to her again. To her lifeless body in the dark alley. He knows that he's being ridiculous, but after all these years he's feels as if he knows her. And although he just sees little glimpses of her in his dreams and only remembers them vaguely, this last dream was so very different. He saw her so clearly before him, her dead green eyes and her auburn locks red with her blood.
She's become so much a part of his life over the years that he just can't help himself.
He does a web search on female NYPD members, but gives up soon. He doesn't even know her rank. She could be any of these women he found on one of the illegal sites, and there aren't even pictures.
He lets himself fall back into his office chair and growls in frustration when his eyes fall on the clock.
Getting up and hurrying into the kitchen, he starts to prepare dinner. He completely forgot about lunch. This whole day went by so fast and the feeling in his stomach only got worse.
What if?
What if he turns the TV on the next morning and sees her there? What if he sees the report about the death of an NYPD officer with green eyes and brown hair? He couldn't live with that.
He's very quiet during dinner, but if his daughter and mother notice it, they don't let it on. They just tell him all the time how delicious the food is, but he doesn't taste anything. It's seems as if the colours have vanished, everything is just grey and without smell or taste.
When his mother leaves to go home to her flat and Alexis goes upstairs to read a little he finds himself back at his laptop, although his eyes burn from sitting in front of it the whole day.
And then it strikes him. The pub.
Excitement rushes through his body when he realises that he has seen it before. And because she belongs to the NYPD it must have be here in New York. If all of this should be real he reminds himself. But he can't help himself. He's always believed in aliens, leprechauns, time travel, psychics and magic. Why should he make an exception now? It could be real after all. And because his dreams don't feel like dreams anymore, he has to be sure.
And there's only one way to find out.
When he sees the picture of the third Irish pub he looks up his body feels too hot and too cold at the same time. It's the Irish pub from his dream.
He doesn't think twice or waste another minute. Grabbing his jacket from a chair, he runs out of his door and presses the button for the elevator multiple times. He checks his watch.
9:14
Shit. Although the pub is only a few blocks away, the time is running away from him. He doesn't even know if it happens today, but he has to make it there before 9:42.
He just has to.
He runs without seeing much of his surroundings. The only thing he sees is the green light at the far end of the street. He breathes hard and the only thing he hears is the pounding of his heart in his ears. His lungs burn and his legs ache so hard but he can't stop. He has to make it in time.
He hurries past the clock that already says 9:41. Shit. Shit shit shit. He's gonna be late.
He leaves the green light of the pub behind and speeds his steps even more, sprints down the alley past the disgusting smell of the rubbish bins standing there and reaches the familiar corner, when suddenly the lights go out. It's all there, just like in his dream. The realization takes his breath away and he comes to a sudden stop.
It's real.
And then he hears her voice. He has to hurry, but can't seem to move.
She's really there. She's real. When he turns around the next corner he's going to face her.
The woman of his dreams.
And she's in danger. He has to – But he can't –
He cannot even think of all the consequences this might have. But if he doesn't go there and does something, anything, she will die.
And so he runs.
There is the man with the gun and Rick just barely avoids the empty can he stumbled upon in his dream. He remembered this little detail just in time, but he runs too fast now and he can't seem to stop and suddenly he finds himself beside her. She's really there.
And even more beautiful than in his dreams.
Her bright green eyes look bewildered at him speeding towards her.
Then he hears the shot.