Who would want a broken girl? Who would want the presidants assassin, the Mockingjay with a broken wing, the murderer of thousands? No one, thats who. Peetas not coming back. Why would he? He hates you! No matter what happened in the past between you two, he hates you now. Are you happy? You finally made him stop. Finally made him stop loving you. But you only realised when it was to late what you had, what you wanted. You had to be sure now, only now, what you want, not all them months ago when he needed you most. Needed you the most to protect him. You realised that you love him back. Well tough luck. He's gone. Never coming back for you. NEVER.
These were the things that the voice in my head snarled at me everyday and it hurt. No. It didnt hurt, it made me shut down, turn numb. I was irretrievable, I made sure of that. I shut everyone out, ignored their pleas. I wasn't Katniss anymore. I was just an empty shell. An empty shell that was tied to this planet so it could suffer, not aloud to take the short cut, the easy way out. Forced to watch the deaths of all her friends swim before her eyes, bear the weight of all their deaths on her shoulders, hold responsibilty for their lives being cut short. There was no escape.
My broken sobs begin to wrack my body and I crave arms to encircle, to make me feel safe again. I just need someone to hold me when theres no hope, to help me through all the haunting memories, to piece me back together when I fall apart. I just need Peeta.