It's going okay...really... Any way, I wrote this just in time for Valentines Day! Even though I am spending it alone...again...I hope all you happy couples out there get some enjoyment out of it.
I'll be locked in my room, in the dark, fearing contact with the outside world.
Some of this is actually from the show, some of it is made up stuff. I just noticed that in "Ghoul Of My Dreams" when LP said "You know how you get around her!" I Just kind of thought that ment that there had been some capering or some such in between "Fungus Amung Us" and "GOMD". At any rate I got bored and now you get to pay for it.
So to all you love birds out there, Happy #ing Valentines Day! ...God I need a drink...
Everyone remembers their first kiss, right? No matter who it was with, or how good or bad it was,
everyone remembers theirs. Mine happened to be in junior high. With Shelly Gribs. The cutest girl in the school,
thank you very much.
She called me over behind the big book cases in the library one day. Like a little puppy, I followed her. She giggled and then, pow! It was so fast I hardly had time to register what had happened. She ran off and I didn't see her for the rest of the day.
I was floating so high I must not have noticed the sniggering and pointing people were giving me. I came crashing down when someone told me that she did it on a dare. I tried to ignore the teasing. Tried, but failed.
If high school was any indicator, I was sure I was going to be alone the rest of my life. 'Drake The Dweeb' didn't go on many dates. To this day I'm still not sure why I went to prom alone. Well, it turned out for the best, I guess. But even after grade school into college, I wasn't exactly a 'chick magnet'. I was usually the guy who got paid to type papers while his dorm mate, the football star, went out on the town with his girl. Looking back on it all...school sucked...
But more than my very first kiss, I remember my first kiss from Her. Oh God, she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Poised, graceful, mysterious, and gorgeous. I could feel my mouth go dry and my legs go numb. When she spoke it was like a symphony. And oh, those eyes...they just absorbed me. And the most mind blowing part was, she was talking to me! Me! Drake the Dweeb! Ha!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, if I had known she was a criminal robing the city blind, my reaction might have been a little different. Might! And it also might have been different if I had known that in a few hours time, I'd be chained in a dungeon along with my best friend, facing down a group of monsters and a horde of ravenous mushrooms. Might!
When she came toward me it was junior high all over again. I knew what was coming, and I couldn't stop it. Which is a good thing, because I sure as hell wouldn't have of my own free will. When her mouth met mine I could feel my heart explode. It was like a wave of fire was rushing through my brain and over my body. She had told her board that she was going to hypnotize me. But I felt fine. Totally lucid and fine. Despite the small fact that the most beautiful woman on earth was kissing me at the moment, my brain snapped back into action. When we parted, I acted dazed and blank. Okay, Okay, sort of ACTED dazed and blank. The biggest blank came later, though.
"You switched the lipsticks. Why?"
"I wanted you to stay because of me! Not because you were a zombie!"
She WANTED me to stay! After a life time of being told to drop dead or get lost. She wanted me to stay! And I was ready to stay with her forever. When she vanished it tore a hole in me you could fly the Thunder Quack through. I thought, that's it, I'll never see her again. What was I thinking? A goddess like that wouldn't waste her time on me. Thank God I was wrong.
I remember the second case I saw her on. Black cats robbing banks. I didn't want to get my hopes up. But when we caught up to her in that alley, she turned around slowly, and I was staring into those eyes again. "Well hello again, Dark." She had a coy smile on her face. I couldn't move. All the air had gone out of my lungs. Launch Pad had to knock me out of the way as a mass of cats nearly trampled us, and she disappeared again. And the funniest part is, the whole time all I was thinking was "She remembered my name!"
She changed, though! I changed her! I don't know what I did or how I did it or what god I pleased, but she changed! And it was like being alive for the first time. I didn't feel out of place, or inadequate or shy or stupid or anything! Finally, someone actually loved me! IN YOUR FACE HIGH SCHOOL! HA!
I remember the first night I called on her. Well, in a non-investigation way any how. Her hair was down.
She had a black dress on. I looove...black dresses. I was trying not to bite my tongue as I stumbled through sentences at the speed of moron. She laughed and put her arms around my neck.
"You know what I like most about you, Dark? You let me be myself."
"Heh heeeh...no problem..." Yeah, I'm not articulate, we've covered that...
She kissed me, and I felt my brain melt again. I knew she still wanted me to stay. Those eyes still draw me in, and that beauty still enslaves me. Through all our ups and downs, I can't stop loving her. The only woman who gave me a second look. And I need her now as much as I ever have.
And I'll never forget that first kiss.