A/N: This is what I thought should have happened during Special Education. Am I the only one who's heart just broke when Rachel asked Finn if he thought Santana was prettier than her? And then he just- sat there! Silent! I mean, I love Finn, but how stupid is he! This turned out to be a lot longer than I intended, but I hope you like it. Review! And favorite :D
What some might not know about Rachel Berry, she was actually very insecure. You might find that shocking, considering what high opinion she has of herself, but that's all about her voice. Her voice is the one thing she is secure about, so who can blame her if she overdoes it? Without her voice, she thinks she'd have nothing left. One of her heavy insecurities was her looks. The only people who have ever really acknowledged her as beautiful were her dads and Jew-fro, and he was just creepy which didn't count. Puck kinda-sorta did while they were dating, but she figured it was just because she was an amazing kisser.
Anyways, so not only was she insecure, but Santana was always kind of her weak spot. The Latina was absolutely gorgeous, there was no denying it. She doubts there is one guy in the whole school, hell, the whole world who would deny her being hot, and can she blame them? She had an amazing body, long lustrous hair, beautiful skin, and definitely not a bad face. She's pretty sure that every guy would pick Santana over her in a heartbeat.
She just always thought, "not Finn though." He claimed to love her, so he should think that the sun rises and sets with her, and that she is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. Which is why the fact that he lost his v-card to Santana gets to her so much? If it were anyone else, she probably wouldn't mind it so much. She was dating St. Jerk at the time. But, Lopez? Her huge insecurity? Yeah, that kind of got to her.
Which is what led to her asking this question, very timidly (and Rachel Berry is never timid) to Finn in the office with Ms. Pillsbury.
"D-do you think she's prettier than me?"
She expects that as her boyfriend, he will bust with a "No, of course not!" Even if she thought he was lying, it would still make her feel better. She waits for it, but it doesn't happen. Ms. Pillsbury may have shouted "Don't answer that!" but that doesn't mean anything. He was her boyfriend. He claimed to love her. They had been dating for almost six months. He should be telling her how he was the most stunning thing he had ever seen, that she was the light of his life, and so much more. But he just sits there. Silent. With this little look on his face, as if he's been caught. And that's more than enough.
Her eyes fill with tears, but she's determined not to cry in front of Finn. She makes a little squeak of disappointment, and then flees out of the room. Running while you're crying is never a good idea; she can't even see straight. Which is why she ends up running straight into the very hard wall that is Noah Puckerman.
"Fuck, midget, watch where you're- Hey, are you crying?" Puck says, voice switching from annoyed to concern in half a second.
She shakes her head vigorously, but anyone with eyes can see that there are tears streaming down her face. And the one thing Puck cannot handle is a crying girl. Especially a hot, crying girl. So he pulls her into the choir room and sits her down next to him.
"Rachel," he says lifting up her chin so that he can look her in the eyes, "what's wrong?"
"F-Finn *hiccup* Santana *hiccup* prettier *hiccup* didn't answer *hiccup*" She says in between sobs.
"Shh, shhh..." he says rubbing her back, "Slow down."
She takes a few deep breaths and then speaks.
"I asked Finn if he thought Santana was prettier than me. He didn't answer! He just- just sat there in silence! I know that Santana is the Regina to my Cady, but still, h-he's my boyfriend! He's supposed to lie to me and say that I'm the most beautiful and-" She starts sobbing uncontrollably again and leans into Puck's chest, her body shaking with sobs.
Puck has a little sister, so he actually understood the Mean Girls reference. What the fuck, Finn? Puck knew he was stupid, but really? Rachel is way prettier than Santana, (he should know, he's slept with her millions of times) by a long shot. They're not even on the same scale. Rachel isn't just hot she's- beautiful. Puck knew it totally wasn't a badass thing to say, but it was true. And even if Finn was as dumb as a box of rocks and didn't realize it, he still should have lied to her. I mean shit; he claimed that he loved her. Anyone who really pays attention to Rachel should see how insecure she was. He couldn't at least stroke her ego a little bit? Puck didn't care that him and Finn were finally on good terms, he had to knock some sense into that boy.
"Rachel" Puck said.
Rachel ignored him, and continued sobbing into his chest.
"Rach, look at me." He spoke softly.
She looked up, struck by the nickname he called her, and the soft tone in which he spoke.
"Now, what I'm about to say never ever leaves this room because it is sappy and totally not badass but, okay. Rachel, you are absolutely beautiful. Like no lie. The only reason guys aren't all over you is because they're convince you're some social pariah, and I guess that's kind of my fault, sorry about that, but anyway. You're gorgeous, and stunning, and hot, and sexy, and basically any adjective that describes beauty, that's you. Also, you're more than just beautiful. You're funny, talented, ambitious, driven, kind of a badass; I mean you don't take shit from anyone." He kind of lost direction then. "Which is why it's weird that you're taking shit from Finn. He doesn't fully get you, or appreciate you like I would- er, I mean like some other guy would." He corrected himself quickly, but Rachel didn't miss the little slip of the tongue. "And you have this little way of wrinkling your nose up when you laugh and it's really just like-the cutest thing. Ever. And wow, I'm such a girl. But anyway, back to the point- what was the point again? Oh! Right, you're gorgeous. I can't even explain how much so. It's like- unfuckable or whatever that word we learned in English was."
Rachel laughed, and did that cute little nose wrinkling thing that Puck was talking about.
"I think you mean ineffable." She said with a smile.
He grinned. "Yeah, that. So, just- don't listen to Finn, okay? He's an asshole. Trust me, I've dated both of you, you're way better than Santana by a long shot."
Rachel smiled. That speech made her feel way better than any "I love you" s from Finn ever did.
"Thank you, Noah. That meant a lot to me." She says brightly. And suddenly she's in his lap and leans in and is just about to kiss him when-
"No." he says.
She rears back like she's been slapped. Her eyes start to fill with tears. "Y-you don't want me?" she says, starting to think that this was all some cruel joke just so he can reject her like Finn, and then she hops out of his lap. But, he pulls her back in.
"Of course, I want this. Damn, you have no idea how badly I want this. But, not like this. Not when ten minutes ago you were crying over my best friend. Not when you're in a relationship. Break up with Finn." He says.
He expects her to laugh. To protest, or look at him like he's crazy. But instead, she shocks him and nods.
"Okay." She says seriously.
And suddenly she's off his lap and out the door. Fuck, he really hopes she breaks up with him tonight.
Later That Night
Rachel knocks on Finn's door. She's relieved to find that neither Mr. nor Mrs. Hummel's car is in the driveway. She loves both of them like family, and really doesn't want to break up with their son in front of them. Kurt opens the door. He looks at her knowingly. Kurt was more of a fan than Puckleberry than Finchel anyway.
"He's in our room." He says softly.
Rachel nods, and walks there. She is shocked to find Finn lying on the bed with two black eyes, and his arm in cast. It doesn't take her more than half a second to realize he must have had a little visit from Puck.
He jumps up, and she can't pretend she's not satisfied from the little wince he makes when he does.
"Rachel, I-"he starts.
She puts her hand up. "Listen, Finn. We're done. I love you, but not enough. And while you claim to love me, you definitely don't love me enough. I was willing to put your activity with Santana behind us, but it's clear that you are more attracted to her than me, and that is just something I can't live with. Furthermore, you never really appreciated me for all it is I have to offer. Which, I'm finally starting to realize, is more than just singing. And, I finally found someone who does. Who appreciates all of me, and all my crazy qualities, and loves me because of them, not in spite of them. And-to be honest, I love him too."
Finn just nods sadly. Rachel's right. He knows it. He did love Rachel, and she was a great girl, but just-not like that. Not anymore. He wasn't sure when his boyfriend love transformed into more of a brotherly love, but it had, and he respects that.
"Listen, Rach, I'm really sorry. I hope we can still be friends?" he questions.
She hugs him, sure to be very gentle as not to hurt him. "Of course." She says smiling.
She turns to walk out the door when he speaks. "Oh, and by the way, you and Puck actually are a really cute couple."
She smiles at that, and leaves to go get her man.