Bedside Manners

Severus Snape sneezed into a lilac handkerchief. He then broke into a fit of coughing as he wiped his nose.

"Honestly, Sev, it's no wonder you've got a cold. These dungeons don't help much in the winter months, do they? I would have thought you'd put the fires on at least!" Gilderoy Lockhart had just re-entered the room, carrying a tray of food. "I told Dumbledore you wouldn't be teaching today."

"What!" Snape spluttered, sitting up in his bed.

"Well, you can't teach in this condition!"

Snape rolled his eyes. "And how, pray tell, did you explain to Dumbledore how exactly you knew I was ill, at this time of the morning!"

Lockhart winked. "I told him I was coming to make a complaint about one of your students."

"Hmm. You're learning, Gilderoy."

Lockhart grinned. "Come on. Eat something."

"I'm not hungry."

"Well, you should be. It'll do you good to eat something. Look, I only brought toast and some muesli as I didn't think you'd fancy some big fried breakfast. Just try and eat some toast, okay?" Lockhart scuttled out of the room again.

Snape hoisted himself up so that he was sitting upright in his bed, and took the tray onto his lap. He had just finished spreading chocolate on his toast (he was more partial to chocolate spreads than marmalade or jam) when Lockhart returned once more.

"What are you doing, Gilderoy?" Lockhart sat on the edge of the bed and placed a bottle of a greenish liquid onto the tray. "Gilderoy," Snape began, with the tiniest hint of amusement in his voice. "I am potions master, you know."

"Of course I know, Sevvie, but if I get you this from the hospital wing it saves you having to make anything yourself. You should rest."

"I'm capable of looking after myself, Gilderoy."

Lockhart shook his head. "I'll take this food back then, shall I?" Snape was about to object when another coughing fit took him. "I'll take that as a no," Lockhart whispered in his ear. He planted a kiss on Snape's cheek and left the room again, calling after him; "I'll be back at lunchtime!" Snape shuddered, and hoped that no one was down here to hear him say that.

True to his word, Lockhart returned at noon carrying a bowl of soup. "I wasn't sure if you wanted anything more substantial…" he began, but the look on Snape's face was enough to let him know he probably didn't. "Sev, why don't you just…magic away the cold?"

"Because, dear Gilderoy, I'd rather let it run its course than ingest more concoctions than I have to." Lockhart shook his head, knowing that if he were ill, he'd take as many concoctions as he could to get rid of the ailment. "Besides," Snape continued, "it'll probably be gone by tomorrow."

"If you say so, Sev!" Lockhart sat on the edge of the bed while Snape ate the soup, coughing intermittently. Once he'd finished the soup, Lockhart took the tray and returned it to the kitchens.

Snape was just about drifting to sleep when he felt something move next to him. Lockhart had climbed into the bed, and was now holding round his middle.

"Er…Gilderoy?"

"Yes, Sev?"

"Don't you have more important things to do with your lunch break?"

"Probably, Sev." Snape smirked. A few minutes passed and Snape had to admit to himself that Lockhart's presence was making him somewhat more comfortable than he had been.

"Gilderoy?"

"Yes, Sev?"

"You're going to catch my cold if you stay here much longer, you know."

"Oh I know, Sev," Lockhart said, with more than a hint of mischief in his voice. "But that'll just mean you can look after me, then." Snape burst into another fit of coughing, to hide the fact that he had started laughing.

"Of course, Gilderoy."

Without warning, a knock came at the door. "Severus? Can I come in? I thought I'd come check you were alright." Both men sprang up in the bed.

"By Salazar, did he have to come!" Snape hissed, "Gilderoy – hide!" The door was already opening so all Lockhart could do to hide was dive beneath the bed coverings.

"Ah, I didn't wake you, I hope?"

"No, no! No, you didn't, headmaster." Snape spoke as calmly as he could, hoping against hope that it wasn't glaringly obvious that he wasn't the only one in the bed. "I hope I haven't caused to much disruption with lessons?"

"No, don't worry about that, Severus. The second years were particularly pleased to hear that potions had been cancelled."

Snape rolled his eyes. "You didn't ask anyone to fill in? I should take the afternoon lessons then, I won't have anymore of my students missing work!"

"You'll do no such thing," Dumbledore said. "We couldn't ask anyone to fill in because frankly no one else really knew enough about the subject."

Snape snorted. "Should that be taken as a well masked compliment, headmaster?"

"If you wish it to be one, then indeed it should." Dumbledore looked at Snape a while, trying to decipher the odd look that was on his face. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Fine!" Snape almost squeaked. He tried his hardest not to let his leg kick out violently as Gilderoy had begun doing obscene things beneath the covers. He coughed. "Absolutely fine, headmaster. Don't let me take up any more of your lunch break."

"Hmm," Dumbledore was suspecting something, but didn't push the point any further. "Very well. Make sure to get plenty of rest, Severus." He left, closing the door quietly.

Snape didn't like the emphasis on the word rest, but thought little of it. Lockhart reappeared from underneath the bed covers. "That was close!" He said, a little too happily for Snape's liking.

"Did you have to? Dumbledore's going to be all suspicious now."

"Sorry Sevvie," Lockhart grinned, "couldn't help it." Snape yawned. "I shall leave you now, my dear. Dumbledore's right, you do need rest…and you're not going to get much while I'm around, are you?"

Snape smiled. "Unfortunately not, Gilderoy." He kissed him as he got up from the bed. "Will you bring me dinner too?"

"Of course, Sevvie."

The day moved painfully slowly for Snape. Try as he might, he couldn't get back to sleep. He tried reading, to no avail; the books were far too interesting. He tried a sleeping potion, but some reason he could not fathom, that wasn't working either. He was glad to hear a knock at his door at five o' clock, and see Lockhart enter his chamber once more. He ate the food he'd brought for him (although he didn't have much taste for it), and Lockhart quickly got rid of the plates. He climbed into the bed next to Snape again. "You know, Gilderoy, you should consider a career as a mediwizard, as you have a superb bedside manner. Have you ever checked if St Mungo's is looking for new staff?"

Lockhart laughed. "I doubt I'd be much better there than I am here, Sev."

"I think you're just perfect here, Gilderoy," Snape said, adjusting himself so he could rest his head more comfortably on Lockhart's shoulder.

"You're probably the only one who does, then." Lockhart paused. He looked down to see Snape already falling asleep. "But then yours is the only opinion that matters, Sevvie."

Snape mumbled something as Lockhart ran his hand through his greasy hair. Lockhart ran his finger lightly along Snape's long, hooked nose. He did this a few times before Snape stirred slowly, taking in a deep breath and then suddenly looking confused. He breathed in again. "Did you do something?" He looked suspiciously at Lockhart, who was grinning widely.

"I'm not a complete squib, you know."