I picked up Mulder from the hospital and brought him to his apartment. Then, I left him alone.
The last days were hard for him. Equally like for me. He was very detached and rejected. The whole situation was strange.
How gladly, I would have fallen him about the neck, would have kissed him and never let him go. However I had to give him time. Time that he needed to process all, to understand.
Now, he was already four days at home and didn't yet call me. Four days, that was for me like a small walk through hell. I reproached myself that I wouldn't sufficiently care for him, that I had caught him by surprise with my pregnancy. I asked myself whether he still loved me after all the events. I was so happy, that he was alive; however I wasn't certain whether he ever would be the old Mulder again.
In the fifth evening, finally was a knock at my door. My heart jumped up to the throat and I was immensely nervous. Mulder stood before me. He had dark rings under the eyes and looked absolutely exhausted. I let him in and got him something to drink. We made us on the couch comfortable.
"How are you, Mulder?" I interrupted the silence.
His voice was quiet and sad as he spoke. "I feel crappy, Scully. I have nightmares and haven't slept since eternity. I have acted towards you like a pig, yet you are the only one that I can trust. I feel as I would stand beside me. I can simply not follow the events, Scully. I lack so much time. I want to understand, but I can't."
He gave a quiet sigh as tears began to run down his cheeks. I embraced him, caressed his hair while he sought solace in my arms. My mouth looked for his and I gave him a tender kiss. Slowly he calmed himself down and I released him reluctantly from my embrace.
Finally, his gaze rested on my stomach. His voice was at once so soft, as he asked a question that apparently he had all along.
"How is that possible?" he asks me quietly.
I had to smile. The old Agent Mulder was coming back. I stood up, picked out my small bag calendar and passed it to Mulder. I wanted that he found out our small secret by himself. "I don't know, Mulder however I guess, that you are not quite innocent at it."
"My date is middle of May," I whisper to him and he began to browse the pages. First through May, then month for month until August. And when he found what he was searching, he smiled. A beautiful smile, that stretches through his face. Nevertheless, I wanted to explain it to him.
"At that time we were in New Orleans, Mulder. Do you still know? The case with the serial killer, who claimed, that the people, that he had shot were aliens. It came out that he had broken out from an institution and the case was solved pretty fast.
It was Thursday and you had simply taken us vacation to surprise me.
In the evening, then we went into this wonderful Italian restaurant and amused us delightfully. I wore an awfully expensive, small black dress.
You were incredibly enthusiastic about it and stared at me open mouthed.
The night was pleasantly warm and so we made a walk to the beach after dinner. The moon shone brightly over us while we walked on the soft sand. It was very romantic and I enjoyed this evening.
Somehow, we then found ourselves in this beautiful Hotel, in which you had reserved a room for us.
The room was incredibly beautifully furnished and in the bath was a fitting extra-big bathtub.
It was our small universe. It gave only us and our love to each other.
We loved ourselves on this weekend more than ever before and didn't leave the room once. It was exactly that, what we both so very much needed. Quiet, peaceful, and full of love.
However reality came fast back and so, we sat on Monday again in the office. We had to hand over the report to Skinner. You fell asleep during the meeting and drooled on Skinners carpet.
You were still too exhausted from our small adventure."
Mulder giggled and cuddled against me. "You mean, it wasn't a misinvestment to pay 2098 dollar for the hotel room?" "Yes, I think it," I agreed with him and gave him a kiss on the forehead. "Actually," he said, "I believe that this investment was already worthwhile in the first night." "Oh yes, it has."
Mulder gave me a small kiss on the stomach and we talked about this and that until sleep overpowered us finally.
The sun shines through the Venetian blind while Mulder beside me snores. He looks immensely sweet. His mouth hangs a little open and he reminds me of a baby. He becomes again the old one.
It is already funny, how fate has changed our life.
Even if he will need another time to process all that happened, he still loves me. Soon, we will be to third and even if I don't know what the future will bring, so I know something with absolute security. Our love will us always hold upright no matter where we are or what we do. Even if death holds us in the hands. Because she is the constant in our lives.