A/N This is a troll fic and not to be taken seriously! Also I'm writing this on an Ipod so bear with me... tiny keys...

Lady Elizabeth was visiting the Phantomhivehive mansion today and Ciel was not pleased. It wasnt that Ciel didn't like Lizzy... she was just... annoying. And Ciel was busy. He was very busy and did not have the time to be worring about a little girl! ...Even though she was really older than he was. All of a sudden, there was a girly, highlitched scream and the window behind Ciel shatterd!

"OH BASSY~ ARE YOU READY FOR SOME INTENSE BABY MAKING?!"

Poor Ciel's office was in shambles.

"What the fuck Grell, get out of my house!

"I just wanted to see Bassy... " Grell pouted

All of a sudden, Sebastian broke down the door.

"BOCCHAN I WILL SAVE YOU! LETS HAVE A THREESOME!" Sebastian squeealed, compleatly out of character

Ciel just sat there with a "WTF did I just see" look on his face.

"Threesome!" Grell yelled happily "Lets go!~"

Sebastian and Grell grabbed Ciels arms and dragged him to the bedroom.

They got to the bedroom and all sat on the bed. Sebastian suddenly took off his pants and did the gagnam style dance, his manhood swinging around as he twirled. Blood shot out of Grell's nose.

"Sebastian is love, I say! Sebastian is life!" he screamed

"Ciel baby, tell us the story of your childhood." Sebastian cooed sweetly

"When I was little, my father called me a faggot. I called him a cunt. He slapped me a sent me to bed." Ciel recounted sadly

"THAT'S AWFUL!" Grell shreiked very highpitched

"I was obsessed with this book called Black Butler... I had all themerchandise. All of a sudden, my window shattered! It was Sebastian from the books!" Ciel recited "I felt his warm body approach my bedside. He grabbed my pants and ripped them off."

-flashback- -Ciel POV-

"I'm ready." I said

Sebastian pounded on me, my buttcheeks ripping under the weight of his strong body. His meatstick was hard. Suddenly, my father came in.

"It's all ogre now." Sebastian said

Sebastian and I burned the manor down that night. Then I got kidnapped by some demonic cultests. Sebastian saved me.

-back to the present-

"And now I'm rich, handsome, an successful!"

"Shall we do that again, young master?" Sebastian asked

"Don't forget me!" Grell said

"Yes. Let us all pull down our pants and become one with Sebastian."

Lizzy suddenly burst throught the doors to see the 3 sweating and pounding agaisnt eachother.

"Uh. I'm just gonna go..." She said

Sebastian looked over at her.

"It's all ogre now."

A/N

Incase you didn't see, this is a retelling of Shrek is love, Shrek is life. Go watch it. Once again this is a troll yaoi and not to be taken seriously.