December 29, 2001

Fear. That's all the could sum up this day. Fear and maybe throw in a touch of dread. It was the first day the twins came home and everything scared Abby. Where their clothes too tight? Where the twins hot? Where they too cold? Where they hungry? Did they need a change? People wouldn't stop dropping by to see the twins. Abby didn't like that. She would have grabbed the twins and locked the three of them in the room if Luka wasn't there, but he was and he was proud to show them off.

Abby walked quietly into Sasha's room. She crept over to the crib and looked in. Sasha was sound asleep. Abby put her hand on the baby's chest. Luka walked into the room.

"Abby, what are you doing?" Luka whispered.

"Seeing if she's breathing." Abby said. Luka sighed.

"Come on, Abby. You need to lie down. You're still recovering." He said pulling her away from the crib. "She's on her back. She's fine."

"What if she throws up and suffocates?" Abby asked as Luka dragged her out into the hallway.

"She'll be fine, Abby." Luka insisted, "go to bed. They're not going to be asleep for long."

"I need to check on Jamie." She said.

"He's fine. I just tucked him in." Luka said as he yawned. This whole week had been tiring from him. He couldn't even imagine how tired Abby was. She sighed heavily as she was defeated.

"Okay." Abby mumbled. Luka rubbed her back as they walked into the bedroom. He made sure both monitors were turned on. The bed looked so inviting. Neither of them had been in this bed since Christmas Eve. Abby and Luka crawled into bed and moaned loudly as they snuggled into the soft mattress. Luka wrapped his arm around Abby as Sleep took them over.

With in twenty minutes, Abby's eyes shot open. She grabbed James' monitor and held it to her ear. Her heart raced. Panic swelled up in her chest. Luka slowly woke up. He looked at Abby.

"Abby?"

"I can't hear Jamie breathing." She said.

"He's breathing. He's fine." Lukas said.

"No. He's not breathing." She said sliding out of bed.

"Yes he is."

"Well, I can't hear him!" Abby snapped and walked into James' nursery. Luka sighed heavily and got up. Abby to the crib and found James sound asleep. She stared at him intently and poked his belly. His eyes shot open and he started to cry. "Oh James. Mommy is here." She scooped James up in her arms and sat down in the rocking chair. Luka sighed standing in the doorway.

"Abby, are you okay?" Luka asked as She began to feed James.

"Shhh." Abby said caressing James' face. It was so amazing that she was this baby's lifeline. He had to feed from her. She sighed heavily as Luka knelt down in front of her.

"Abby, something's wrong with you." Luka said, "I know there is. I'm not stupid." A tear slid down Abby's face as she watched James eat. His eyes soon fluttered shut. Luka touched Abby's cheek. "Abby."

"I'm scared, Luka." She said quietly. "I'm really scared."

"About what?" Luka asked. Abby snuffed as she brought James to her shoulder and patted his back softly.

"Everything." She muttered.

"You're going to have to be a little more specific there." Luka said. Abby sighed and kissed James' cheek.

"I'm scared...that something's going to happen to them and I won't be there." Abby said. "I know something's going to happen and I know it'll be because of me. I wont get there in time and I'm going to loose them."

"Abby, you're not going to loose them." Luka said, "You're always going to be there for them." Abby shook her head.

"I just...I don't know. I don't feel close to them anymore. They're away from me now." Abby said starting to cry harder. "And everyone is always touching him or her and kissing them and taking them from me. I just...want to be left alone with them. I miss them. I m-miss being close to them."

"I can...I can leave if you w-want me to." Luka said. Abby looked at him.

"No. No it's not you." Abby said, "I don't know why I'm feeling like this."

"Could it be postpartum?" Luka asked with a slight smile.

"No!" Abby snapped jolting James awake. She rubbed his back causing him to fall asleep again.

"You're at high risk for it."

"Why? Because of my mother??" Abby stared at him. Luka nodded.

"Yes and you know it." He said.

"I refuse to be like her." She said getting up and laying James back down in his crib. Luka sighed standing up.

"You're never going to be like her. Ever." Luka said, "You're going to be a terrific mother. You already are a terrific mother." Abby sighed covering James up with the blue blanket Chuny gave them. She turned and looked at Luka.

"Maybe...maybe you're right..." She said, "I feel so empty without them inside of me." Luka gave Abby a weak smile.

"We're starting a new chapter in our lives, Abby. This is a whole new beginning." Luka said. "We have the babies now and we get to watch them grow."

"Oh I don't want to think about them growing. I want them to stay little forever." She smiled.

"Don't you want to see Sasha become the first woman to.... Ah.... Become president or James to be the first man to.... give birth?" Abby burst out into a fit of laughter but quickly covered her mouth not to wake James.

"I suppose that would be nice." She smiled walking out to the hallway. "In a weird sort of way. One question, Luka."

"What?" He asked.

"What if I don't loose this pregnancy weight?" Abby asked with a smirk as she crawled into bed.

"I don't care if you do or don't. I find you sexually appealing no matter what." Luka said wrapping his arm around Abby. She smiled.

"Too bad we can't have sex for awhile." She said.

"Gotta let you heal." He kissed her ear. She turned around and looked at him.

"Just because you can't do anything for me, doesn't mean I cant do anything for you." She smiled mischievously running her hand down his stomach. Luka smiled slightly.

"But it wouldn't be fair." He said as Abby slipped her hand into his boxers. He groaned slightly springing into action. She smiled.

"You'll just have to owe me." Abby said sliding down to the edge of the bed, kissing her way down his stomach. Luka's heart pounded as her kisses touched his waistband of his boxers. Just as Abby was about the remove his boxers a soft cry came from Sasha's baby monitor. They both sighed loudly.

"I'll go get her." Luka groaned.

"You sure?"

"Yeah." He said, "We'll continue this when I get back."

"You can count on it." Abby winked at him. Luka smiled as he walked into the nursery and picked up the crying baby.

"This better be good, Sasha." He said picking up the bottle at the end of her crib. She hungrily took the nipple into her mouth. Luka smiled and smoothed out her soft brown hair. His children were gorgeous. Auburn hair. Sapphire eyes. They had Abby's nose. His lips. They were part him and her. Sasha's eyes fluttered shut soon after she finished the whole bottle. "Thank you for falling asleep quickly."

He slowly laid his daughter in her crib and pulled the soft pink blanket over her. Luka leaned down and kissed her. He smiled as he danced back into his bedroom.

"The Luka train has-" He looked at Abby who was sound asleep. She was snoring softly. He sighed and smiled at her as he crawled into bed. Luka kissed her cheek softly. "Goodnight Abby."