Disclaimer: These characters belong to themselves, and to our lord and master Ms. Rowling. I'll return them undamaged.
Set during the Christmas break in OotP.
An Unexpected Answer
By Maximilien Robespierre
It was a few days after Christmas, but no spirit of festive holiday cheer gripped the inhabitants of number 12, Grimauld Place. Harry, seemingly happy for the past few days, had sunk back into the black mood that had gripped him ever since Mr. Weasley's run in with the snake. He had retreated to his and Ron's bedroom at the top of the house. Ron and Hermione were busy shooting worried looks at each other while Ron mended his Standard Book of Spells: Grade 5 with spellotape, and Hermione pretended to read. With Mrs. Weasley threatening the vengeance of God if she so much as saw the tip of another trick wand or Skiving-Snackbox sweet, the Weasley twins were reduced to wandering the dark halls in search of something worthwhile (and preferably ridiculous or dangerous) to do.
Entering the basement kitchen they found Sirius, face downcast, sitting alone at the table.
"Hey mate, you look down. Fancy a sweet?" said Fred, grinning evilly and offering him something orange and purple.
"Sod off, you two," said Sirius, grinning despite himself. "Surely everyone in the world must know not to accept food from you by now. It's sure to be jinxed."
"However could you think such a thing?" said George, clapping a hand dramatically to his heart. "I am so terribly wounded."
Sirius barked a laugh. "You two act like overgrown, overdramatic puppies sometimes, you know that?"
"Takes one to know one, Snuffles," said Fred, grinning again.
"Really, though, go away. Can't a bloke have a minute to mope in a corner once in a while without you poking your abnormally long noses in?"
"Well, since technically you're sitting in the middle of the kitchen, not in a corner—"
"Get out of here!" Sirius roared, but his mouth was twitching. "Go bother Moony—" he gestured at Lupin, who had just entered the room, head bent in conversation with Bill. "—He's always been better at not hexing the noses off prats."
"Ah, well. I think we've been defeated, Fred," said George, beginning to wander toward the door. "We're obviously not welcome he—" He stopped as he noticed Fred, still standing in the middle of the room with a look of complete astonishment. Slowly comprehension dawned on his brother's face, followed by the same look of amazement.
"Blimey, did he just say—"
"Yeah, he did."
"Bloody hell…"
The looks of confusion on Remus' and Sirius' faces would have been hilarious, if only the twins hadn't been so dumbfounded themselves.
"You…he…"
"The map…"
"The marauders…"
"Moony."
"Ah," said Lupin, the confusion clearing from his face. "I always wondered where Harry got that map. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. They must've nicked it from Filch's office."
"But you…he…I – I don't even…what?" said Fred.
"You seem to have rendered them temporarily incoherent, Padfoot, old friend," said Lupin, raising an eyebrow and smiling slightly. "Cherish the moment. The Weasley twins speechless. It doesn't happen often."
"Well, we were only the best pranksters ever to grace the halls of Hogwarts," said Sirius, his tone dripping with false modesty.
"Now, wait a minute," said Fred, finally seeming to regain his senses. George shook his head dazedly beside him. "That's our title you're taking."
"Oh, we were better by far."
"You're going to regret saying that."
"Is that a challenge? Oh, you're on!" Sirius grinned gleefully, seeming to forget that he was a fully-grown man who was supposed to be moping in the corner. Behind him, Remus shook his head, smiling. Some things, he thought, never change.
AN: Review! Tell me whether I got them in character. I'm worried about Sirius. He doesn't seem quite right... Tell me if you enjoyed it (or not). Tell me if the twins are too slow. I realize they probably would have found before the fifth book, but it was the best time I could think of to set it. Review! Do it!