AN: I do not own Grey's Anatomy, nor do I own Patrick Dempsey, it's a shame, I should own him :D.
This is my first post here on since two years (FF deleted all my fanfics back then, I was so angry) so please be nice. Reviews are very welcome!
Meredith Grey was surprised that she could learn so much about her self on just one lousy evening. Before tonight, she had goals to reach, plans to make and ideals to believe in. Right now, four hours after the prom ended in such a terrible way, nothing was certain for her anymore.
She used to believe that love would concur all. She had watched so many movies as a teenager, those sweet teenage movies where there's a girl and two boys, and in the end she has to choose one of them. Meredith always thought that choosing that one guy would be so simple. She would just follow her heart, because that's the way it's supposed to be. You choose the one person you truly love, even if that means difficulties in the rest of your life. Just because, you know, love concurs all.
Tonight she learned that it wasn't that simple. Choices aren't black or white. That one person that you love and will spend the rest of your life with, that person doesn't exist in one man. There was no happily ever after, one man would always get hurt. It's impossible to smile, choose the man you want to be with, and go on with your life. Love means that you have to take risks, through your heart out in the open, fight for you goals. There was no prince charming who would fight for you heart, to never let it go again. There were no certainties in life and especially not in love.
Tonight she had thrown away her ideals, her beliefs in life. Ever since her father left her and her mother when she was a child, Meredith promised herself that she would never jeopardise a relationship. When Derek turned out to be married it had hurt her, not only because of his lies and the fact that she loved him so much, but because she had jeopardised a marriage, of course she didn't know that but still.
Tonight, she knew Derek was married. Tonight, she had been with Finn, who was perfect for her, who had made plans, but who wasn't Derek.
She had sex with Derek in the exam room, something she would never thought she would do. She had thrown away her ideals about relationships to be with Derek, even if it was for such a short time. She loved Derek, she was sure of that, how could she not love him? It wasn't just sex, it was more than that, or at least she liked to believe it was. And the weird thing is, she didn't even regret it. Tonight in the exam room, everything was how it was supposed to be, it was like Derek and her were the only persons in the world. Addison and Finn just disappeared, all the lies and the fight were gone. She wasn't the dirty ex-ex-mistress, you can't say ex-mistress when you just had sex, she was Derek's, and he was hers.
Tonight she had found out how selfish she really was. Denny died tonight, Izzie was heartbroken and here she was, alone in her bedroom. She wasn't thinking about Denny, or about Izzie or about Cristina and Burke for that matter. She was only thinking about herself, and the choice she has to make soon. She never thought she would be that selfish, she's an awful friend. She used her friend's misery to not make a choice tonight. She excused herself to Derek and Finn, said she had to support Izzie, and she ran.
And yet still, she can't get Derek and Finn out of her head. Tomorrow she'll see Derek, she's pretty sure she'll see Finn too. Now here she was in her bed, wishing that tomorrow would never come.