RAPHAEL'S SELF LOATHING
One night, Raphael was standing on the roof of a very large building. This was his secret place. Anytime Raphael felt angry or depressed, he would come here. As we all know, Raphael is ashamed about being a turtle. He looked down at the crowd of people walking below. Angry at them. Hating them. And envying them.
April knew about Raphael's place. So, she decided to visit him that night.
"Hey, Raph," she said.
"Hey," said Raphael.
"What are you thinking of?" asked April.
"I look down at all these people and I keep asking myself the same question every day: Why am I not like them? Why am I not human?" said Raphael. "April, you have no idea how lucky you are."
"Lucky? You wanna talk about being lucky?" asked April. "My boss is a real jerk and most of my co-workers are jerks. At least you have your own privacy. You have your own place to live, you don't need a job to pay bills and you and your brothers have great martial arts skills."
"At least you're human," said Raphael.
"Being a human isn't all that great," said April.
"Well, would you like to be a turtle?" said Raphael.
"I wouldn't mind. Raph," said April. "It's not what you are, it's who you are. Not matter what species you are, you're going to have problems anyway. No-one is ever truly happy 24-7. And if you get rid of one problem, you're going to have another."
"At least you can fit into society," said Raphael. "I can't reveal myself to the public."
"Humans don't really fit into society," said April. "I didn't fit in at school. I was really shy and all the popular kids at my school were jerks. Take it from me, Raph; you wanna fit into society, you have to be a real jerk. You don't wanna be a jerk that everyone hates, do ya?"
Raphael shook his head.
"How do your brothers deal with being turtles?" asked April.
"They take it quite well," said Raphael. "That's another thing that bothers me."
"What?" asked April.
"Why aren't they ashamed about being turtles?" asked Raphael.
"They just accepted themselves for who they are and they know that they will never change. You should too," said April. "In fact, they quite like being turtles. Why else do you think Michaelangelo keeps saying 'I love being a turtle'?"
"Yeah, Michaelangelo is always happy," said Raphael. "I wish I was happy like him."
"He just thinks positivity," said April. "If you're depressed and keep telling yourself 'I'm depressed. I'm depressed. I can't do anything right.' all the time, you will make yourself even more depressed and even worse, you'll start like being depressed and you'll want everyone to feel sorry for you and become an attention seeker. You don't want to be like that, do you Raphael?"
"No." said Raphael. "How do you know all this?"
"When I was a teenager, I didn't fit in at all. I didn't have that many friends and I thought that the whole world hated me," said April. "I was depressed and I kept putting myself down. I really wanted bad things to happen to me because I thought 'If I'm not around, no-one would care that I'm gone.' But when bad things did happen, I quickly regretted wishing for them."
"Be careful what you wish for," said Raphael.
"Indeed," said April. "But those bad things I had wished for, they made me learn how to keep a positive attitude and hope for good things to happen. And my life turned out to be good to me after all. I'm now a news reporter. How cool is that? I'm also a strong believer of 'Everything happens for a reason'. You do have a purpose. You have martial arts skills for a good reason. And that's protecting people. How do you feel when you save someone from being attacking from a gang of thugs?"
"Good," said Raphael.
"Also, every punk you fight goes home and rethinks their life. I'm sure there were a lot of criminals you fought that have changed their lives for the better," said April
Raphael liked that theory.
"Although my life is good, it's not perfect. There are things I hate about it. But I'm happy with my career and the friends I have," said April. "So what do you think about being yourself now?"
Throughout April's story, Raphael had second thoughts about hating himself. Yes, he should be positive, he should focus on good things instead of the bad and he should be happy with the things he has such as his family, friends, home and martial arts skills.
"You're right, April. I am going to be more positive and hope for good things to happen," said Raphael.
"That's the spirit," said April. "Anyway, tonight is Board Game Night and Donatello wants to play Clue."
"Again? He always wins," said Raphael.
"I know, but its a great game," said April. "Also, it's no fun without you."
So, Raphael and April left the roof and headed back to the sewers. From that night on, Raphael learnt how to like himself and think positively about life.
THE END