Title: Hey, Hikaru
Anime: Ouran High School Host Club
Pairing: HikaKao

Hey, Hikaru… If I said I loved you, what would you say to me? Would you accept me for who I am? Would you push me away? Would you misunderstand what I meant and tell me that I'm you're best friend and brother? I already know that you don't love someone else. I believe you, now. Is there room for more of me in your life?

I'm here all the time for you, and you know that. I love you so very much. Hikaru, you're more than a big brother to me. You're more than my twin brother. You're the other part of me… my other half that belongs only to me. If I stayed and watched you read this, what would you say to me?

Fairytales are pretty pathetic, huh? They lie to you and tell you about amazing ending, happy people, enemies losing, heroes winning, and true lover joining together for eternity. They lie to little children, to adults… to those of us who still wished to believe in love. Love doesn't belong to me, though. It never will.

Hey, Hikaru… Have you found any of these short sticky notes yet? If so, you probably haven't found me yet. I don't know where I'm going, but I know that I won't return. I left because I needed to free myself from this pain of loving you when I can't have you. Having you reject me would have killed me, so I left home. Plain and simple.

I never had a diary. You would have found out about it. Instead, I'm leaving you these notes all over the place for you to find and read and learn about me. Every day, I often wish you would come for me.

Do you throw these papers way? Are they filling up the garbage can? It's only a theory, of course. I'd never know.

By now, I am probably somewhere far away on this planet. I could be anywhere… dead or alive. Either way it doesn't matter since I'm not there, right?

Hey, Hikaru… Have you ever been in pain like this? Did you know how you made me feel? Did you know of my suffering and heartache? Sleeping in the same bed as you, doing a brotherly love act where we would never kiss… you see why I left, right? If you cry for me, stop. I'm not worth your time. If you aren't crying, it's only for the best. Forget about me and burn these papers. Forget I was here.

With a mirror around, I see you in me. I see it in my face and hair, but despite my pain in remembering and feeling lonely, I still can't bare to change who I am.

Hey… Hikaru… are you even reading these?

END