My Give a Damn is Busted

Song for o/s: My Give a damn is busted by Jo Dee Messina

Special thanks to my wifey Shirley007 for her snazzy Beta work. She is the best.

***WARNING***

This fic contains content that may not be suitable for anyone with a weak stomach. It contains dark themes, rape and murder. If you are not comfortable with that please keep moving. I do not condone, agree or encourage the acts shown above. It's just a work of fiction. Thank You.

"Now up to speak is the Doctor currently in charge of the killer. I present to you, Doctor Carlisle Cullen."

"For years, Bella Swan has been tormented, tortured and enslaved to the thoughts inside her head. Even with the help of medications, she was lost. The "voice" inside her head, has ruled her life. Today was just another day where the "voice" made her do something we will all have to live with. The casualty list keeps growing as the buildings are searched. When questioned, all she would say is that "she's happy now" and laugh. Its a sad day in Forks, Washington. One we'll all remember for years to come.

I really have done all I can do to help her. She needs to be committed. Those are my findings, and what I, as the Doctor on call have decided. As of 19:37, the papers are signed and dated for today, the 19th of September year 2010. She will be committed under full watch at Morton's Psychiatric hospital in Washington state. She will be remanded there for the next 10 years. At that time, she will be re-evaluated.

This is an informed decision, and the child's parent and only legal guardian has signed the commitment papers. She will be transferred within the hour. Thank you, that is all."

Bella's POV

As I drove down the highway, the thoughts in my head were scaring me. But I knew today would be different. Did he really think he was going to get away with doing this to me? I'm the girl they all take for granted, but no more. I will get my revenge! He's going to pay for what he's done to me. There is no more being the nice little Bella, they all know. It's time for the bitch to come out and play.

It had been years, since she made her appearance. But I knew that as soon those meds the quacks had me on, were out of my system, she'd be itching to play again.

I flipped on the radio in the truck and smirked as I listened to the song. My Give a damn's bust for sure. This song was so me.. I hummed along as I let my memories take over.

That first morning ran through my mind. I could see it like I was sitting there again, looking into his face. The face I wanted to smash with the tire iron. The body I wanted to trap between my truck and a fucking tree. The bastard thought I would let him do this to me again and again without fighting back, which I didn't do for months. But enough is enough.

I am not that same girl anymore. I will kill this stinking bastard. I cackled as I arrived at the house. I ran inside and grabbed one of Charlie's shotguns, a knife and a rope. I shoved them, along with two outfits in a duffel bag. I ran back to the truck with a CD in my hand. I popped it in and hit the repeat button. Driving back to the store, I planned his demise in my head.

As I pulled up in front of Newtons Outfitters, my heart was racing. My adrenaline was pumping and it was go-time. It was now or never. I just had to pounce. If I gave him a chance to stop me, he would. I couldn't allow that; the fucker had this coming. No one takes advantage of Isabella Marie Swan and gets away with it. Phil didn't and this stupid little no good piece of shit wasn't either. I smirked as I remembered that day after school. The words of the song made it all come flooding back to me.

I came home and avoided Phil. He knew my routine and was already in my room, waiting on me. He expected his daily dose of 'lets beat Bella'. Well not today. I moved away from him and slowly backed out of my room. He, of course, followed and I turned to run. He grabbed my hair and threw me down on the floor.

"You dirty little bitch. Did you think you were going to get away from me that fast?" he snarled.

I kicked at him, as he kicked me in the side. I felt the pain race through me and cried out. He laughed, grabbing me by my hair and drug me back to my room. Damn Renee! Every time she went out of town on business, I would get treated like shit. He'd beat me, rape me and do anything he wanted. Phil slung me onto the bed and by the time my head hit the head board, he was dropping his pants. I tried to fight him off, but he was too strong for me.

Every thrust of his hips made me cry out in pain. He made me feel like this was all I was good for. It was all my fault. He would pound into me, until he'd lose his load. Then I'd get beat because I didn't cum. Why in the hell would my body give that fat rat bastard the satisfaction? He gave me no pleasure, only pain. He told me it was my fault if I didn't enjoy it. Was he fucking kidding me? I mean that was a disturbing thing for any woman to go through and for him to say that just made me feel lower than dirt.

The next month when Renee left for her trip, I was ready for the pig bastard. I had it all planned and he was going to regret fucking with me. Literally. I came home as I always did and went to my room. I was in the closet changing my clothes, when he came up behind me. Gripping my hips tight, he ground his erection into my ass.

"You little whore, this is your fault. You make me do this. You should be punished," he said, as he slammed me into the wall. I needed to get him into the bedroom, so I could get to my bag. Before I could register what was happening, he had my panties down and was thrusting inside me. I screamed out for him to stop, but as usual it fell on deaf ears. The tears ran down my face, while I wished I could catch a break, even if it were only this once.

Then I saw them. My hand stretched out as he thrusted. I felt my body hit the wall hard. I grabbed the scissors and gripped them tight. Taking a deep breath, I swung my hand backwards. I didn't care what I hit; I just wanted him to get off me.

"You stupid little bitch," he said, slamming my head into the wall. I dropped the scissors as I fell to the ground. He kicked me repeatedly and then everything went black.

The next morning when I woke up, I was still on the floor, half dressed and sore as shit. I made it to the bathroom and saw the bruises on my body. My face was bloody and bruised from hitting the wall. It was still dark out when I jumped in the shower to get his stink off me. I washed the blood off me and I thought of what I could do to get this to stop.

Renee still had four days before she'd be home. There was no way I could go to school with the excuse that I had tripped and fell down the steps. I mean it is so me, but I got tired of that fucking lie. After my shower, I dressed and made my way down stairs. That is when I saw him, sitting at the kitchen table. Something inside me snapped, and I ran upstairs, grabbing the handcuffs Tyler had stolen from his dad for me. I tip toed across the living room and grabbed his arms, pulling them behind him.

"I have a surprise for you. I think it's something you'll never forget. You sick, twisted fucker," I whispered in his ear, as I snapped the cuffs shut on his wrists. I had them wrapped in the spokes of the chair and he was stuck.

"You get these off me now, whore, or else," he yelled, trying to stand up.

That's when the voice in my head started. She was an evil little bitch and she was ready to teach Phil a lesson. I walked over to the kitchen cabinet and grabbed the sharpest knife I could find, before walking back over to him. "Now you filthy pig... I'm going to gut you. You will learn who to fuck with and who not to. But then again. you won't be able to do anything when I'm done with you," I said, smirking.

He mumbled as the fear took him over. I cut open his t-shirt and slowly ran the knife down his front.

"Now what do you want first. I will let you chose. But in the end you will die."

I listened to the voice in my head and ran the knife across one of his nipples, laughing as the blood ran down his side, watching him cringe, while he tried hard not to scream. I moved the knife across his chest multiple times, laughing and enjoying his pain and suffering. The stupid piece of shit deserved it. I worked him over, until he was a bloody mess. His voice got weaker as he panted for me to kill him and to get it over with.

I turned to look at the clock on the wall and then back to him. "As you wish, scum bag," I said, as I drove the knife through his heart. His voice dropped off, as he slumped in the chair. I went upstairs, showered and changed my clothes. I threw some clothes into a duffel bag and headed to my truck.

I left Arizona and never looked back. I would just let them think I was dead. I made my way to Forks, and Charlie had me "evaluated". I wasn't charged with anything to do with Phil's death. I passed a lie detector test and had them convinced that I left before the pig was slaughtered.

As a horn blew in the distance, I remembered why I was here. I made my way around to the back of Newton's and slipped inside. I waited in the storage room, until I knew everyone was gone. Then I slipped into the isle where he was working and cleared my throat. He gasped in surprise and turned to look at me.

"What is your problem? Jesus, you scared the crap out of me Bella," he said, coming towards me.

I took a step back and he smirked, as he stopped. "Bella, come here now," he said pointing to the floor in front of him. I slowly took a few steps forward and stopped, short of the spot.

"BELLA, now!" he growled. I moved forward and stopped where he had pointed. He grabbed me and pulled me close. "Now, you know the routine. I want you on the counter now," he said in my ear as he turned to walk to the back counter.

He pushed me against it and I huffed. He needed to be in the back, but how could I get him back there? I had to think fast before he did something to me. "Mike, baby, lets go in the back. I have a present for you back there," I said, smiling. He nodded and I led him back where I told him to sit in the chair. I smiled as I walked over to the duffel bag I had on the floor. I pulled out the rope and looked at him.

"I'm going to tie you up baby, then I'm going to show you what I think of you," I said, tying his hands tight against the spokes of the chair.

"Watch it, dammit. That hurts, Bella. Don't make me punish you later," he said. I looked at him and laughed hard.

"Don't worry, Newton. You won't be able to do much in a few minutes..." I trailed off as I walked back to the bag. I pulled out the kitchen knife and saw his eyes widen in fear.

"Bella, what are you doing?" he asked.

"Aww, don't worry, Mikey. You're getting everything your dirty-rotten-ass deserves. This will teach you for taking what isn't yours, you stupid little fucker!" I yelled.

I cut through his shirt with the knife and slit the legs of his pants. I walked around him as he yelled at me to let him go or else. Or else what? I had the little bastard right where I wanted and needed him. There was no escaping me now. As he yelled I turned and ran the knife across his cheek.

"Shut the hell up, Newton," I hissed.

The sound of his quiet whimpers as I moved back in front of him, was a small victory, but the voice wanted more. I ran my hand down his chest and smiled at him. He took it as me making a pass and bucked his hips into me. I slid the knife down to his chest, barely cutting him, just enough to sting, before I stood up and made my way back to my bag. I grabbed a pair of pliers from the tool box on the shelf and moved over to him.

"Now, Mikey, I think you need to have your nails done."

I walked behind him and ran my hand down his arm, before I gripped his finger and slowly ripped his fingernail off. He cried out in pain as I cackled. The stupid bastard had no idea that he was really going to die. All the shit he had done to me... it had to be done... it would be done.

The voice in my head was getting louder, as I pulled each one of his nails off slowly. He screamed with each one. I moved back around to stand in front of him and the stupid bastard kicked me. I dropped the knife, as he charged at me. I dodged him just in time. He ran into the wall and I grabbed my knife. As he laid on the floor, crying like the pathetic little fuck he was, I ran the knife over him, any place I could see I cut. I wanted him to feel the pain I had for years.

The more blood spread, the better I felt. With one final word to him, I sliced his throat. I sat back and got lost in the gurgling sound. I didn't hear her, until it was too late.

"What in the hell.. Mike... no!" Jessica screamed as I jumped up. "What did you do, you stupid bitch?"

"I took care of the abusive little fucker. That's what. His dick will never hurt anyone again," I hissed, as I slowly stalked forward.

She looked at me in a mixture of hurt, anger and fear. The voice in my head started screaming again and I clamped my fingers to my ears. I didn't want to hurt someone innocent. I couldn't. Mike deserved it. He was an evil fucker, but Jessica...

"You are going to jail, you stupid bitch. I just called your precious daddy and he is on his way," she yelled, as she ran past me, sobbing and knelt down in front of Newton's lifeless body. I watched her sob over that worthless piece of shit and it made me think about what I was doing. The voice had made me do it again. This wasn't me.

I got lost in the voice and stalked up to Jessica, driving the knife into her back as I screamed at her.

"You want that miserable piece of shit... then join him, you stupid bitch."

I grabbed the gasoline from the back room and spread it throughout the store. I could hear the sirens, but I didn't care. They would not stop me. I grabbed a few matches and dropped them and watched the place go up in flames. The smile on my face was truly disturbing but the voice was happy. She had stopped screaming at me.

I felt a pull and then I was on the ground in handcuffs. Newton's went up in flames too fast, too strong for them to stop it. I watched as they ran in and back out, yelling that they couldn't get into the building seeing as how it had started to collapse in places. I didn't know there were apartments upstairs, nor did I know there were people occupying them. I didn't learn that until I was at the police station. I felt sorry for the innocent ones, but if they were there, they deserved it. Or so the voice said.

Everything after that point is a blur; it's like I've taken a backseat to myself. I let her do everything and now I am just here to be safe. She keeps me safe and protected. She saved me from Phil and from Mike. The voice will keep me safe, she is the bitch we all need to be...

Chapter End Notes: *bites nails* Okay, this is what you get when you mix... tequila an a pissy mood. *shrugs* It was write this or let one of my Darkmetts kill Bella and I can't have that so here ya go. I hope you enjoy it.

Again, I do not condone, agree or encourage the acts shown above. It's just a work of fiction. Please if you have nothing nice to say move along. Thank you.