Episode 1: Tigerstar

Hello, people! Well, I am back and in action! And welcome to the Warriors Unleashed revival!

I don't own Warriors or anything else that I refer to in the following text. And enjoy!

It was a normal Greenleaf day in ThunderClan. The sun was setting, offering a beautiful view for those few cats who wanted to share tongues. While most of the cats crowded together, Lionblaze padded over to a TV in an empty corner of the camp and collected the remote from atop the old television set. With one paw, he lazily flipped through the channels.

"Nothing is on." Lionblaze complained inwardly. He was about to touch his paw to the button again to change the channel, but just at that moment an interesting commercial came on.

"Warriors Unleashed, the talk show for Warriors, about Warriors, by Warriors, premieres in five minutes!"

Lionblaze, intrigued by the prospect of this type of show, dashed over to Firestar and told him about the new show. Firestar, also interested, leaped onto the Highledge.

"All cats old enough to catch their own prey, gather beneath the Highledge for a special announcement.

Jayfeather walked Briarlight out to join the meeting. Seeing that all of his clanmates were around, Firestar began.

"There is a new talk show for Warriors premiering in a few moments, and I believe that we should preview it. All in favor, paw in the air!"

All cats immediately agreed, except for a disgruntles Jayfeather because he wouldn't be able to see anyway. All of ThunderClan slowly gathered around the television as the show's theme song played.

Meanwhile on a retro-themed set, a tortoiseshell she-cat with golden streaks and golden eyes was having a serious conversation with a pale yellow tabby she-cat with yellow sunlight-like eyes.

The tortoisehell, whose name was Goldenheart, meowed, "For the fiftieth time—and I am counting—you cannot give a grown cat a wedgie! I don't even know how that's possible, and I don't want to know, so don't tell me!"

Unbeknownst to the pair, the camera was rolling.

Liontail, a dark ginger tom with a fluffy tail and green eyes, coughed to get the pair's attention.

"Guys, we're live!"

The tabby, whose name was Sunclaw, sprang into the wings while Goldenheart stood there, shifting her paws, embarrassed. Her silver, blue, and green co-host, Nightsong, leaped to her rescue.

"Hello and welcome to Warriors Unleashed! YAHOO!"

A round of maniacal laughter was suddenly heard from a spinning office chair. Goldenheart, Nightsong, and a silvery she-cat with white eyes (named Diamondeyes), looked over in confusion. A completely black she-cat with an orange tail and wild hazel eyes was spinning around and laughing delightedly.

"Uh, that's Burntfur...she got caught in a fire when she was little and then got subjected to radiation waves..." Goldenheart whispered apologetically.

Suddenly, Burntfur shouted out, "Sandstorm is the best! Sandstorm shall rule ThunderClan!"

In the camp, Sandstorm's eyes widened and her fur grew hot. With a start, she realized that she was blushing. She hid behind Firestar in an attempt to hide this fact.

Sunclaw calmly padded onstage and told the insane she-cat, "Sure she will, Burntfur. Come on, I've got her in the back room.

Burntfur leaped from her chair in excitement. "Okay!" As she padded backstage, Sunclaw followed her, and a large sledgehammer was briefly visible in her paws.

With a yelp, Goldenheart quickly pulled the curtain over the scene.

"Right, our first vic-I mean, guest-is Tigerstar!"

Liontail quickly pressed a small button, setting off recorded applause, as Sunclaw dragged Tigerstar out from backstage and handcuffed him to Burntfur's chair.

"What in the Dark Forest is going on?" Tigerstar exclaimed before listing questions.

"Where am I? Who are you? What i-" He was about to repeat his first question when he noticed Diamondeyes. "Oh, StarClan..."

Diamondeyes eyes widened, making her diamond-like eyes seem brighter, and hid behind Nightsong, giggling idiotically.

"You've been handcuffed to a chair. You're on Warriors Unleashed. I'm insane." Goldenheart offered answers before a crazed look came over her face. Tigerstar squirmed uncomfortably.

"If you think she's nuts, wait till you meet Burntfur." Nightsong murmured to Tigerstar before raising her voice again. "Anyway, on to our questions! Tigerstar, is there a she-cat you like? Possible a maple-shady one?"

With his free paw, Tigerstar slapped her upside the head. In retaliation, Nightsong slapped him harder.

"No! There are no love letters passing between Mapleshade and I that are collecting under my nest!" Tigerstar shouted out.

Goldenheart smiled evilly and glanced at Liontail. "Did we get all that?"

Liontail returned her toothy grin and held up a voice recorder in answer. Tigerstar stared at it with his jaw open before he went into a rage. Sunclaw led in a now slightly more-sane Burntfur and helpfully whacked Tigerstar with her beloved hammer. Tigerstar immediately fell unconscious.

"Can we do his secrets now?" Diamondeyes asked.

"Yes, why don't you go get them from the vault?" Goldenheart answered.

As Diamondeyes trotted off, Goldenheart leaned over Tigerstar and poked his head, giggling hysterically and watching a lump grow.

"I'm back!" Diamondeyes called as she trotted back in with a lavender-colored sheet of paper. She scanned the list and voiced her opinions. "Aww. Oh no he didn't! Ew...

Before she could continue on, Goldenheart snatched the paper away and began reading down the list.

"He's dating Mapleshade!" she called out.

"No, duh!" Sunclaw answered sarcastically.

Goldenheart ignored her and continued on. "He secretly took Leopardstar's last life and gave it to Breezepelt!"

Whitefoot, a black she-cat with white paws, stormed from behind the camera. She was an avid fan of the former RiverClan cat and was enraged to discover this new fact.

"Hold my earrings!" she screeched before she was immediately squashed by Diamondeyes.

"Nooooo! Tigey!"

Sunclaw dropped her hammer on the stage and attempted to pry the two apart. "You could do soooomuch better, Diamondeyes!"

Goldenheart ignored the catfight while the others took bets on who would win. "He dreamed of being a..." she gasped in amazement, "Kittypet!"

Everyone immediately froze and stared at Tigerstar, now conscious. The cat blushed.

"They have good food."

Goldenheart read the next one: "He ate twoleg food."

When Goldenheart finally arrived on the last secret, she stopped and read it to herself. Her eyes grew and she disappeared into her dressing room, leaving the paper to flutter to the stage.

In the meantime, Sunclaw was still trying to pry Diamondeyes and Whitefoot apart.

"You-don't-deserve-him!" she ground out.

"He killed Leopardstar! DIE DIE DIE!" Whitefoot screeched her revenge.

"He's already dead." Burntfur pointed out intellectually.

This fact had not occurred to the black and white she-cat and she stopped to ponder it. Diamondeyes saw her chance and she quickly punched out her opponent.

"Yes!" Nightsong gloated before turning to Liontail. "You owe me ten dollars!"

"We agreed on five!" Liontail snapped back.

"But I decided that if Diamondeyes punched Whitefoot, I get an extra five!"

"You never told me that!"

"I just did!"

"Boom chick bow wow!"

This new statement came from Burntfur, who immediately received stares from all of the crewmembers.

"Did we mention that she was subjected to radiation?" Sunclaw mumbled.

Suddenly, everyone noticed that Goldenheart had disappeared.

Whitefoot, who harbored a strong dislike for Goldenheart and a wish to be the executive producer, launched into her happy dance after yelling, "She quit! I call the exec producer job!"

Suddenly, from nowhere in particular, someone moaned, "Tigerstar!"

Tigerstar screamed like a girl as a black she-cat with golden eyes sauntered in.

Nightsong, Diamondeyes, Sunclaw, and Liontail lifted an eyebrow at the she-cat. Not many cats wore high-heeled combat boots, leather jackets, or fishnet leggings. Who was this mysterious cat?

"Who are you?" Burntfur asked curiously.

The she-cat smirked and put a paw on her hip. "I am Shadowstar and..." the newcomer turned to Tigerstar and drew herself up to appear menacing. "Your worst nightmare."

Tigerstar burst into tears immediately and cried for mercy. Shadowstar burst into laughter, kicked off the boots, shimmied out of the leggings, washed off the make-up, and handed the leather jacket back to a random female biker. Goldenheart grinned and took out a clipboard.

As she checked something off the list, everyone slowly burst into giggles. "Make Tigerstar cry: check!"

Sunclaw, still in tears from the laughter, dragged Tigerstar, who was in tears for a different reason, offstage. Diamondeyes finally controlled herself and followed to comfort her new hubby.

"Th-th-that's all, folks!" Burntfur stammered out. Nightsong slapped her and turned on Goldenheart, who had slipped the boots and leggings back on and was checking the look in the mirror.

"I told you not to let her watch that Looney Toons marathon, Goldenheart!" Nightsong sighed.

"Hmm? Oh, yes. Tune in next week where our next guest star will be-"

Suddenly Burntfur held a carrot in her paw and chewed it thoughtfully before asking, "What's up, doc?"

Nightsong grabbed Sunclaw's hammer from where she had dropped it, dragged Burntfur behind the curtain, and...well, you can guess.

"Our guest will be Sol! Goodnight, everybody!"

Thinking that Whitefoot had finished her dance montage and had shut off the camera (when in reality she's doing the Macarena on top of Burntfur's chair) Liontail padded onstage and up to Goldenheart, who was just leaving.

Now, Liontail secretly harbored a crush for his boss. And now he was going to ask her out.

"So...do you wanna catch a movie?" he asked, trying to act 'cool'.

Goldenheart looked at the director and answered, "Sorry, Liontail, but Redpelt is taking me hunting. Ciao!

Liontail watched, shocked, as she shut off the main light switch and walked into the night, leaving the studio in darkness.

"REDPELT!" Liontail screeched.

The sounds of him storming off and Whitefoot falling off of the chair were heard as the time slot ended.

Back in camp, every cat was staring openmouthed at the TV.

"That..." Lionblaze began.

"Was..." Cinderheart added.

"AWESOME!" everyone finished.

"Let's do that again!" Cherrykit called.

Everyone leaped for the remote at the same time and knocked heads. Sandstorm sneaked through the unconscious bodies, now wearing a '#1 Burntfur Fan' button, and autotuned next week's episode. She looked around the unconscious clan and smiled, flashing her Burntfur button proudly.

"This is going to be an interesting show..."

Well? How do y'all like the revival? I'm editing each chapter, so some things will change. For example, Goldenheart will always be Goldenheart. Any songs I may have used in the original will be only mentioned so you can pull up a tab. Some cats may not appear. And if you review, I will PM you with a very important message.

I missed you all. I promise that this story will never suddenly go kapuft again.