Note From the Author—Okay, so this is my first ever Torchwood story; yay for that! I fell madly in love with Jack and Ianto the moment I first saw them kiss so of course this story had to be about them. It's short and vaguely drabbley I suppose but I hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer—I don't own the characters of Torchwood. If I did there would be lots more of Ianto and Jack : )
Nothing would ever be the same. Deleting Tosh and Owen from the system had left a seemingly never ending void that nothing would ever completely fill. The world didn't pause for Torchwood to grieve, but Jack did; so he called Rhys to pick up Gwen and ushered Ianto out of the tourist office with a gentle kiss and a request that he get some sleep.
At home Ianto went through the motions, changing into his pajamas, brushing his teeth. It was all hollow and meaningless. When he was ready for bed he laid there and stared at the ceiling for an hour before giving in and getting up to clean. The already spotless apartment was sparkling in twenty minutes, so he sat down to stare at the TV with tears rolling down his cheeks. After two and a half pointless hours of trying to privately dear with his grief he got up and pulled on a pair of jeans. There was only one place he wanted to be.
Almost exactly three hours after Jack had sent him home, Ianto arrived back at the Hub. When he stepped clear of the cog wheel door he was unsurprised to find the lights blazing and the stations deserted; even Myfanwy had gone quiet in some sort of deference to the tragedy they had suffered. Just walking through the door had made him feel lighter, but he knew the weight in his chest wouldn't ease until he saw him.
It was sound of the scrub brush that finally carried him from the Hub's entrance back into Owen's former domain. There he found Jack on his hands and knees scrubbing at the remnants of Tosh's blood on the floor.
"Jack, we could have helped," he said quietly.
Haunted sapphire eyes rose to meet his even as he shook his head. "It was for me. When it comes down to it, Toshiko and Owen were here because of me; so this is mine."
As Jack turned back to the task at hand, Ianto fell to his knees beside him. Reaching out, he gently pulled the scrub brush from his hand. He was barely aware of the tears falling from his eyes as he reached out to cup Jack's cheek. "You don't always have to suffer alone."
"When you've lived as long as I have, you learn that it's simpler to be alone," he told him quietly.
Ianto showed him a watery smile. "Did I miss the part where you ever did things simply?"
A stunned laugh escaped him as he nuzzled into the hand that rested against his cheek. "Got me there."
"I'll not let you laugh it off though; not this time."
Jack pulled back then, picking up the scrub brush and going to work again. "There's nothing else for me to do, Yan."
They both fell silent then, the sound of scrubbing the only noise in the place. Ianto's mind was reeling, full of so many things he'd been longing to say. It wasn't the time or the place for most of them; but one thing, one of the biggest things, made him whisper his next words. "Let me in, Jack."
"Ianto…"
He shook his head. "Don't push me away, Jack; not now. We all need each other more than ever." He still wouldn't look at him, and it felt as if the crack in his heart was slowly widening as he stood to walk away. "I need you; and if you were honest with yourself you'd realize you need me too."
So Ianto walked away then, with tears and his eyes and a throbbing ache in his heart. The blood was rushing so hard in his ears that he didn't hear the fall of boots behind him; he didn't even sense Jack until the Captain's hand closed around his wrist and pulled him flush against his body. Both men braced themselves for a harsh, frenzied kiss. Instead it spun out gently, a slow glide.
As they pulled slowly apart Jack sighed and leaned in letting his forehead rest gently against Ianto's. "I'm sorry, Yan. I've seen death like you can't imagine, and I've never learned to deal with the grief that comes with it; and I never learned to let someone in to be there for me."
"I'm not expecting miracles, but you can't keep shutting me out; I'm not having it anymore."
"I can't make any guarantees, you know that," Jack told him gently.
Pulling back, Ianto looked up into the eyes of the man he had never imagined he'd come to feel so much for. "All you have to do is try."
Jack didn't say anything, and for one horrible moment Ianto was afraid that he would walk away. Then, with a soft sigh he leaned in for a slow kiss, and when they pulled apart Ianto's eyes drifted open to see a hesitant smile gracing Captain Jack's handsome face. The younger man's heart about soared from his chest when he heard the words that next left Jack's lips; it was more than enough.
"I'll try."