Disclaimer: No.
"We - humans"
By Chiisana Anisa
Warning: And an explanation - this is a short one piece story. It will look confusing, trust me.
But look at it this way - it will be obvious that this is from Kagome's point of view. Think of it as if she is writing a journal entry, just her musings about her life, and all in the same - the sum up off all the things she had to go through in the Inuyasha world.
The most important thing is this - Read it carefully. You'll find sense. And if you don't, can't help it there. Enjoy.
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We humans are a funny race.
See, we have this incredible tendency to believe in everything we are ordinarily afraid of. We believe in fairies, in elf's, in demons... We used to sit down around the fire when we were young and listen carefully to the stories of heros and heroines fighting their battles, winning and then living happily ever after.
We marveled in them. And dreamed that one day that story is going to happen to us. That we will be the heroine and find the love of our life. That we'll be loved and safe in his arms, feeling cherished every second of our existence, warm like the sun and even when the rain would present our pain, he would be there to be our sun..
Yes, we dreamed of all of that.
I dreamed of that.
I was one of those little girls sitting by her grandfathers chair and trying so hard to stay up just to hear the end of a story I knew by heart long ago. I was a girl who grew up on those stories and grew up to be a lost romantic. I believed in all those things above, but above all, I believed in love.
A love that I will find one day and it would eat me alive, consume me so completely making me live for an eternity. I dreamed of a man strong, handsome, smart and lovable. I was the flower and he was the sun. Oh, I believed. I wished. Dreamed.
My belief proved to be right. My wish came true. And I'm living my dream.
The fault?
The man is strong. Stronger I were knew of anyone in the questions of strength. He was there for me to protect and save me from any harm possible. His arms are always there to support me, to pick me up if I fall, to hold me close while crying, to hug me when needed.
He was handsome, in a special way. The exterior of half a boy, half a man. More man. Strong facial lines, which showed often enough his determination to pull through and survive. His stubbornness, his sadness, his rare happiness. His eyes that were usually closed of for emotions but when willing reflected the entire palette of them. His mouth, so harsh, so rude.. So soft and beautiful. So gentle.
Smart for the things he had to do to stay alive, to keep me alive and people he held dear to him. Smart because of all the planning on defeating the biggest threat on the path of his happiness in life. Smart for knowing that sometimes emotions really can get in the way.
And lovable. That I don't need to explain. Read everything above and you will understand. Or will it maybe make sense if I say he is my knight in shining armor?
The fault?
He doesn't love me.
He's the demon I believed in. Half that is, but still a demon nonetheless.
He's the fairy, who enchanted me to love him despite all his bad sides.
He's the elf who will live much more longer than me, outlive me, even if there is half the chance for us of being together.
The faults.
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But I believed. Still do. One cannot deny it after living for full two years amidst the demons, fighting or befriending them. After seeing that magic really exists and even more, when you can feel it floating in your veins like your second blood.
I wished. Still do. I wish to be his, but his heart belongs to another. I wished to stay by his side, here I am. I wished for him to see me, I'm his friend. I wished to help him in any way I could - I'm running out of ways to help him. Help me.
We humans are a funny race.
We are always hoping for something more, even when we have all we wanted. We always wish for a love greater than the one we have. For a better future, for finding a way to undo all the things that were wronged in the past. For making redemption with someone who doesn't seek that from us. For finding peace, but hatred or vengeance doesn't let us rest.
Funny race. We humans.
I dreamed. Of everything. When I was a little girl. I'm not a little girl anymore. I'm a woman with a broken heart that's still wishing, hoping and believing. I'm a woman who's tears have long gone dry and who's pain has become a regular part of her life. I'm a woman who has a task of saving the world, like a heroine. But is tired of it.
There isn't hero's love to keep her strong and standing in the times of need. Her hero has his own heroine, one that is far better than her in all ways. I'm a woman who tries and tires to prove she's enough, just doesn't get it. A heroine isn't supposed to be alone. To carry the weight of the world on her shoulders until it becomes too much to bare.
I dreamed.
Of a world just my own. Of a love just my own. Of a man just my own.
Still am.
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AN: I hope you took my warning and read to it accordingly. If you did and grasped all the floating straws I left behind in this piece, let me know. I would like very much to know what you thought of it.
Edit: I took out one part of my warning, but it wasn't anything big so no need to worry about it. Thanks to one of the reviewers I realized it sounded a bit stuck up and therefore it's gone.
To all of my previous reviewers, I give much thanks. I really appreciated every one of them.
Love,
Chiisana Anisa