Both Worlds, a dragon age fanfic

Both Worlds

001

"Why have you brought us here?" Fenris demanded, his deep voice echoing through the small clearing. He scanned the surrounding trees with watchful eyes, searching for a potential threat lurking in between the thick trunks.

"Yes, please explain," Alistair agreed and shifted restlessly from foot to foot. He, too, peered into the boughs as the faint shadows of approaching dusk slowly chased away the bright glow of the sun.

"I brought you both here because..." I hesitated, the words dying in my throat. They both turned to stare at me, waiting for my response. The faint light cast a dull glimmer over Fenris' silver hair and strong elven features. The hilt of his broadsword protruded like a dark shaft from behind his back. Ebony feathers fastened to the leather hide that protected his tall frame fluttered lightly in the cool breeze. He stooped and glared at me with stony emerald eyes, the coldness of his demeanor causing chills to race up my spine. Alistair fingered his long sword that was strapped to his waist and stared at me with a polite indifference. The heavy dwarven armor that shielded him was scratched in places but otherwise freshly cleaned. His face was stunning and always contained a courteous smile. That same respectful grin was on his face now as he looked at me with curious amber eyes.

I took a shuddering breath and tried to calm my nerves. My heart was pounding so loud that it rang like drums in my ears. I knew it was going to be hard to speak the truth, but I did not know it was going to be so difficult to look at them both without succumbing to the tremors that burned in my heart. My ringed fingers squeezed the sylvanwood staff in my hand, drawing strength from some inner reserve deep within me.

"Now is the time to speak, apostate. It is not safe in these woods when darkness comes," Fenris said grimly through clenched teeth. Dislike was obvious in his bitter tone of voice and his green eyes flared with revulsion. Alistair was oblivious to Fenris' disgust of me, probably because he was so used to the elf's brooding manner.

"It is because I am a mage that allows me to see you one more time," I replied, barely audible. My voice was quiet, but strangely loud in the deserted patch of woods. Fenris eyed me with disdain and narrowed his gaze. Before he could reply, I intercepted with a question that made his stunning features slightly soften.

"Did you ever question why Lady Hawke simply vanished without a trace?"

He frowned at me with dangerous eyes, his expression suddenly guarded and vaguely curious.

"Viscount Hawke?" Alistair asked, surprised. "I met her once three years ago," he added, a small smile curving at the corners of his lips. I shifted my gaze to Alistair's handsome face.

"Did you ever wonder why the Warden Commander left without a word?" I asked him, fighting the emotions that raged within me. Now, it was Alistair who looked at me with alarm.

"What is this about?" he inquired, uncertainly. I bit my lip and uttered my next words slowly.

"The Warden Commander disappeared not long after the siege at Vigil's Keep. She was never seen again and her companions knew nothing of what happened or where she had gone. Lady Hawke vanished shortly after the battle with Knight Commander Meredith in the conflict with the templars and mages. No one knew where she had gone either. Why would a woman who was crowned Queen of Ferelden forsake her duty to her people and her beloved King? Why would a woman who united the crumbling city of Kirkwall abandon her home and the elf that she loved?"

They both stared at me with probing eyes, as if searching for the answers that had been out of their reach. I lowered my gaze to the greenery at my feet, remembering the memories that suddenly began to race in my mind.

"Do you know something? Of what happened to Hawke?" Fenris insisted, his words rushed and somewhat hopeful.

"If you know where the Queen is, you must tell me," Alistair ordered, his voice firm and fitting of his rank.

"She had no choice but to leave," I whispered as if in a trance, lost in the images that flitted across my vision. "It was something that she had to do, something that she could not control."

"She? Which one? The Queen or Hawke?" Alistair asked, confused. I raised my eyes up slowly and looked at them each in turn.

"Me."

Fenris squinted at me with bewilderment and Alistair stared perplexed. They both replied with the same word.

"What?"

"I am Lady Hawke and I am the Queen of Ferelden," I revealed, feeling the familiar surge of energy from the staff that I held.

"You are not Hawke," Fenris said, shaking his head so that his silver hair swayed.

I rested my eyes on his beautiful face and took a step toward him. He leaned back as if I had invaded his personal space.

"Are you sure, Fenris?" I pressed. He narrowed his malachite eyes and grimaced in disgust.

"Of course, I am sure. Hawke was not a mage."

"You are right. I was not."

"You are not Hawke!" Fenris bellowed, anger in his voice. "You are nothing like her!"

Ignoring his outburst, I took another step closer to him, feeling the magic from the staff seeping slowly into my body. He did not step back, but continued to glare at me defiantly.

"When I met you Fenris, I saw right through your mask of stone. It took time and effort, but there was something about you that drew me in like sweet embrium. There was a lot of pain inside you that you tried desperately to hide, but as bright as the lyrium on your skin was, your agony was your greatest weakness. I saw in you, someone that was beautiful and unique and I embraced that. And I know that your past still haunts you, but I remember telling you once that you are not alone."

Fenris gawked at me with wide eyes, confirming that what I said was the truth. With my free hand, I slowly pulled a crimson piece of cloth from my robes and held it in front of his baffled eyes.

"You gave this to me that night, do you remember?" I inquired. He gaped at the fabric as if lost in thought, seeing something as if from a dream.

"How did you...?" he paused and raised his jade eyes to peer at my face. Recognition etched clearly on his attractive features.

"Fenris."

"Aria?" he whispered, awestruck. The sound of my name on his lips felt strangely satisfying. I knew that by now, the effects of the lyrium had finally transformed me. Lifting my hands, I saw the roughness of the skin from countless wear and battles. Grasping a lock of the long dark hair, I watched as wonder alighted in Fenris' mystified eyes. Now he took a step forward, tossing away reluctance for familiarity. With one swift hand, he touched my cheek with the tips of his fingers. Ardor bloomed in his handsome face, coloring his own cheeks with a tint of crimson. The pallor had gone as if life had once again entered his body.

"I have searched for you for so long. Where have you been?" Fenris whispered, longing in his touch and affection in his glazed glare. I stared at him with equal yearning and then glanced at Alistair who was observing us with stoic calm.

"You could not possibly know how much it hurt me to know what you and Morrigan did together," I began and Alistair stiffened at the sudden and clear recollection of the memory. "But I knew that you must, because the realization that Death would snatch you away from me was something I would not consider. I paid that small price so that I would see you live with me forever."

The surge of the magic tingled within me and my appearance began to change. My long hair shortened to my shoulders and brightened into the rich color of auburn. Alistair gasped with alarm, his mouth widened in shock and his ocher eyes enlarged with amazement.

"Charlotte?" he breathed, not quite believing his eyes. "Is that really you?"

"Yes, it is me."

Fenris stared at me with shock, his gaze searching for the remnants of what was there previously. Alistair strolled over and took my hand with a feverish impulse.

"I sent the whole army out to seek where you have gone. I left no place in Ferelden untouched, I ordered every village, every cave, every forest thoroughly searched. I could not find you," Alistair confessed, his stunning features twisted in agony at the thought.

"What just happened?" Fenris demanded, the desire in his voice giving way to anger. I lowered my head in despair.

"The images you both see are triggered by your memories. The lyrium within me allows the magic to transform my image," I began. "I am not of this world. I come from another far from here, in another time and place. The bridge between our worlds is only open when chaos arises. When destruction comes to plague your world, I was sent here to do what I can to save you."

"Alistair, when the darkspawn poured forth from the bowels of the Deep Roads and threatened to overtake Ferelden, I was sent to help you defeat the Archdemon. There within the heart of your beloved land, I fell in love with a man destined to be King."

"With the Blight over and the Archdemon defeated, I was called back into my world. But with the dissipation of the darkspawn, many others grappled at the chance for glory. It was within their reach now. The danger had passed, but the turmoil had just begun. The population of the mages grew and the Circle could not contain them. The Templars knew this, so they began suppressing every mage starting with the city of Kirkwall. This again, was chaos in the making. It was within the City of Slaves that I again fell in love with an elf."

"Each time that I was summoned, I took on a new form; a new body, a new life. I became one with my host, melding my memories with theirs as is written in the books of our destinies. They became my Keepers and I their Protector."

Fenris eyed me with a calculating uncertainty, his brows furrowed in contemplation. I saw doubt plainly in his face, but I also saw hope flicker like the fleeting wings of a bird.

"What are you?" he whispered in a soft tone that carried in the wind. "Are you a spirit?"

I shook my head and let the lyrium alter my image. Fenris stiffened as the image of Hawke returned.

"No. I am flesh and blood, like you."

"How is this possible?" Alistair asked, his voice shocked and unsure. "How can you be Hawke and Charlotte and...you at the same time?"

I sighed heavily, torn as if ripped apart by a force that I could not control. A slight burning sensation began increasing in my chest area. I took a shuddering breath and looked to each of their faces.

"It's...complicated, but I don't have much time," I gasped and tried to ignore the rising pain within me. "They would have known by now that what I am doing at the moment is forbidden. Revealing the secrets of the universe is cause for imminent death, with little chance of returning to your world."

"They?" Alistair asked, concerned despite the circumstances.

"My Creators. There's no time to explain," I carried on in a rush, ignoring Alistair's puzzled expression. "If death is the path that is laid out for me, I would gladly accept it, but not before I had the chance to see you both one last time."