Nick

'I expected support from you of all people.'

'I do support you, Yvonne. '

'Well it doesn't sound like it'

'Oh Yvonne, come on I didn't say the police were to blame'

'Just leave it Nick'...

Beeeep. Beep. Beep.

The sound of Yvonne's heartbeat on the monitor pulls me away from the memory. Not that I want to remember it. Not now, not with the woman I love like this. I feel so helpless; I became a surgeon to help people; to do my best for them. Ironically though, my best just isn't good enough for the person who matters most to me, because she does, more than anyone. Ever, even Zoe...

I shake my head at the thought. We are much better off as friends, always have been, I know that now. We wouldn't have worked out anyway, brain tumour or no brain tumour as I have since realised what I once felt for Zoe is nothing compared to those I have now for Yvonne. Besides I think she has feelings for Dylan, I can only hope that she finds as much happiness in her life as I have with Yvonne; even over the short amount I've known her.

I know it sounds stupid but I feel like we have been together years, not months. Everything is just so easy and comfortable now. It is like I have found a part of myself, which until I met Yvonne I hadn't been aware was missing. She makes me complete and the thought of losing her is utterly devastating. I can't lose her I just can't. It would tear me apart. The thought of losing her makes me all cold and I close my eyes once more. Losing her now, after everything we have been through; from that less than perfect first date (and the delicious afters!) to all the magical moments, which have happened between us since. I love her so much.

If anyone asked me before I met Yvonne if I wanted a family, kids, a big house, the answer was always the same. It wasn't that I hadn't wanted all those things, because I did, I do. I just never envisioned myself being in that sort of relationship with anyone. That was until I met Yvonne Rippon. Now I realise I really do want all those things and I want them all with her. As I look at her with tubes of IV fluids running in and out of her, keeping her alive, keeping her with me, as I come to the realisation that losing her isn't an option. If she dies, I know my heart will die too.

During the argument Yvonne accused me of not supporting her. Well from this moment on I vow that will be all I shall do, because I love her, even at times when she might not want it, she will have no choice but to accept it, because as I have already said I love her and in the end that is all that matters, right? Having someone with whom I can spend the rest of my days with, to share my deepest secrets with. I want to marry her.

I just wish she would open her beautiful eyes, so I could tell her all these things, so she can see it, so that she will know. I take her hand and squeeze it gently and offer up a silent prayer, in the vain hope someone is listening. Please come back to me baby. Please.

I am not expecting any kind of response, so when I feel her fingers move fleetingly under mine. I shake my head in shock. She can't be, can she? But then her eyes flicker open.

'Nick'...