iLove Her Not
A/N: Hi! I am actually writing most of this story in a notebook while I am at BLFAC! :) This idea actually came to me while I was zoned out at a concert… XD
Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly. Tear, tear.
Chapter one: Do I Love Her?
(Freddie's POV)
I am so confused. And this confusion is stressing me out. I am NOT the kind of person to get stressed out.
I glanced at my alarm clock.
3:00 AM.
Great. It's three in the morning and I am still awake.
Again.
It's been almost a week now. I stay up until the early hours of the morning, until I can't stay awake another second. I really wish I could sleep. I can't.
How many years has it been? Three? Four? I don't know. I think it's been four years.
Four years since I met Carly. I always thought I loved her. Lately, I haven't felt like it was her that I loved. I still feel like I love someone, but that someone isn't Carly. At least I don't think it's Carly.
Agh! I'm so confused!
"Why is this happening to me?" I shouted before I realized I was the only one awake. I threw my head backwards and it hit the wall with a thud. It hurt. A lot.
Today is not my day, is it?
I heard footsteps getting closer to my room. Aw, great, I woke my mom up! I dove under my covers and closed my eyes; I hope it looked like I was asleep.
My bedroom lit up as my mom ran in and turned on the light.
"FREDDIE! ARE YOU IN HERE?" She screamed. She was frantically looking around my room, but it's not like I could be that hard to find! How many people have to look frantically around a room to find a sixteen-year-old boy? Especially since I was under my covers, which don't look very flat with a person under them!
My mom yanked the covers completely off the covers off my bed and heaved a sigh of relief.
"Freddie, are you awake?" she asked as if she expected the answer to be yes.
I just laid there with my eyes shut. There was just one thing I hadn't thought of. I had yelled and made a loud noise by banging my head on the wall. If I pretended it wasn't me, who would my mom think it was? Too late, though. If I suddenly got up, my mom would freak. Although she's already going to freak!
"Who yelled if it wasn't you?" Mom asked, and I think she was talking to me. Why would she ask me a question if she thought I was asleep?
Out of nowhere, my mom started to shake me, probably because she wanted to ask me about the screaming.
"What do you want?" I almost screamed. That came out a lot harsher than I wanted it to…
"Freddie, there was screaming and then a loud banging noise! I think someone is in our apartment!" Mom practically screamed. Of course she imagines that. That just shows how paranoid she is!
"I think I was talking in my sleep," I lied. I probably shouldn't have said that. Now she's going to ask what I was dreaming about. Crud.
"What were you dreaming about?" She asked as if on cue.
"I don't know! Can I just go back to sleep?" More like back to lying there, thinking!
"Okay, goodnight." She said as she picked up my covers and put them back on my bed. To be honest with you, I hate them – Galaxy Wars. I like those movies, but I think these covers are better for a five-year-old! I'm sixteen!
As my mom left, she turned off the light, and closed the door.
That was probably the best she's ever taken anything. She freaked out that time the power went out in the middle of the day! But she didn't freak out about this? My mom confuses me sometimes. Or a lot. More like a lot.
I can't even remember what I was thinking about. Oh yeah, now I remember. I was thinking about weather I love Carly or not. I don't think I do anymore, but I always thought I had. It's been just a week since this thought first occurred to me. And it was at three in the morning, just like now. Except for now it's more like three thirty.
But who cares?
I am so confused. About this whole "Do I love Carly or not?" thing. I'm about ready to just decide at random. That's how annoyed I am by this confusion.
That's it. I'll decide at random.
How?
All of a sudden, I had a light bulb moment. I would play that "Loves me, loves me not" game.
I got off my bed and walked over to my closet. I'm so glad I removed that huge picture of Carly. It was beginning to scare me when I looked at it at three in the morning. I replaced it with a picture of me, Carly, and Sam. I grabbed a flower out of the corner. Why do I have a flower? Because yesterday morning, I woke up, and there was this random flower on the floor. I have no clue why it was there. Maybe someone put it there. But who?
Agh! This stupid random flower is adding to my confusion!
I want to scream. That's how confused I am. I just want to scream. But then I'll wake up everyone on our floor. And that would be bad… What would Lewbert do if someone told him? I really do NOT want to see him right now. Not in the middle of the night…
I walked over to my bed, sat down, and stared at the flower that was in my hand. It doesn't look normal. It has blue petals. Yes, blue! I never thought that was possible, but apparently it is. And the middle is red. It makes no sense at all. A flower with blue petals and a red center…
I decided not to think much about it.
Why did I even get this flower out of my closet anyway? Oh yeah! I was gonna do that "Loves me, loves me not" thing.
Why?
Isn't this something a girl does when she's not sure if a guy loves her or not?
Oh, well. I don't care. I'm not even sure if I love Carly or not. That's close enough!
I looked at the flower again. It looked like it could have almost fifty petals. Which again seems impossible.
Okay, here goes nothing…
I sighed as I pulled one of the petals off the flower.
"I love her" I whispered, making sure my mom wouldn't hear me again.
I pulled another petal off.
"I love her not" I whispered.
I kept doing that over and over again.
Nearly ten minutes later, my floor was covered in blue petals, and the flower had one petal left.
I sighed as I pulled the last petal off.
"I love her… Not."
A/N: How did you like it? Please leave a review and let me know what you thought. :)
A/N: Yes, there will be more. And yes, this is a Seddie story. Why else would the colors of the flower together make purple?
A/N: Where do you think the flower came form? I know, but I want to know what you think!