Yu-Gi-Oh
The Musical
Narrator: THERE ONCE WAS A MAN NAMED GOLD ROGER- Oh Shit, that's the wrong show... IN ANCIENT EGYPT LIVED AN EVIL PHARAOH OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT. ANY WAY, HE SEALED HIMSELF WITHIN HIS MILLENIUM PUZZLE NEVER TO BE FOUND AGAIN. OR SOMETHING, I DON'T KNOW. AND THEN THERE'S THIS FUCKIN' KID.
Yuugi: When you're alone, alone in the world
When you're alone in the world
Blown-away leaves get blown in the world
Swirled-away leaves get swirled
And hand in each hand was made for the world
Where is the hand to reach for mine back
Where are the shoes that click to my clack
I'm all alone in the world
Millions of grains of sand in the world
Why such a lonely beach?
A hand for each hand was planned for the world Why don't my fingers reach? Millions of grains of sand in the world Why's mine a lonely beach?
Where are the heels to click to my clack? Where is the voice to answer mine back? I'm all alone in the WOOOOORLD!
Jounouchi: Hey nerd, what's that?
Yuugi: This is my super awesome Millenium puzzle. I got it in a super McHappy meal from Burger Wold. Rumor has it whoever solves this puzzle will be posessed by a satanic Egyptian pharaoh, and all of his enemies will know the torment of a thousand years suffering as the ancient beast Serket feasts upon them for eons. and what a sight it will be to behold when I Yuugi Mutou-
Jounouchi: Yoink (he grabs a small piece if the puzzle and throws it out the window) See you later nerd. (he leaves)
Yuugi: Your death shall be the most painful of all.
Honda: Aw, don't feel so bad, little buddy.
Yuugi: I like you honda. That's why i'm going to kill you last.
Honda: Aww...So cute.
(Honda leaves)
Anzu: don't worry Yuugi, I like you.
(HALLWAY)
Ushio: Hey, you two stop.
Jounouchi: Whatta you want, Hall moniter?
Ushio: I saw youse two pickin' on that Yuugi kid.
Jounouchi: So?
Ushio: So this!
(Ushio beats the shit out of jounouchi.)
(Yuugi enters)
Yuugi: holy Shit! Jounouchi!
Jounouchi: Yuugi, if you save me, I'll be your slave for life!
Yuugi: For reals, yo?
Jounouchi: (as he passes out) for...reals...
Ushio: I'll kill them if you give me twenty bucks!
Yuugi: no! You're not gonna kill my slave!
Ushio: I tell you what, you give me twenty bucks, and i won't kill YOU.
Yuugi: But I don't have twenty bucks!
Ushio: You have till midnight.
Yuugi: What, But I-
Ushio: meet me back here. TONIGHT.
Honda: you saved us!
Yuugi: But now I'm gonna die.
(Yuugi is at home trying to solve the puzzle. Jounouchi enters)
Jounouchi: Hey Yuugi, I thought I'd give this back to you.
Yuugi: sit boy.
(Jounouchi does)
Yuugi: Now, as my slave what should you call me?
Jounouchi: Master?
Yuugi: that's right. now, give me the puzzle piece, and twenty dollars to pay off Ushio. (Jounouchi gives him both things) Thank you.
(Outside the school)
Yuugi: Damn. Ushio's late. might as well work on this puzzle while I wait. (As Ushio enters, the first of "I'm free" begins to play, and yuugi slides the last piece of the puzzle into place.)
Narrator: What's this! Yuugi is evolving! Yuugi evolved into Yami no Yuugi!
YY: I'M FREE- I'm free,
And freedom tastes of reality,
I'm free-I'm free,
AN' I'm waiting for you to follow me.
(He produces the bills, and a knife)
Ushio: What are these for?
YY: If I told you what it takes
to reach the highest high,
You'd laugh and say 'nothing's that simple'
(he demonstrates the stabbing game)
But you've been told many times before
Messiahs pointed to the door
And no one had the guts to leave the temple!
(Ushio accidently stabs himself in the hand)
Ushio: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
YY: I'm free-I'm free
And freedom tastes of reality
I'm free-I'm free
And I'm waiting for you to follow me.
(YY Twists the knife in Ushio's hand, and then Kills him)
(The next day - yuugi awakes in his bedroom)
Yuugi: I was not myself last night
Couldn't set things right
With apologies or flowers
Out of place as a cryin' clown
Who could only frown
And the play went on for hours
And as I lived my role
I swore I'd sell my soul
For one love who would stand by me
And give me back the gift of laughter
One love who would stand by me
And after making love we'd...
Dream a bit of style
We'd dream a bunch of friends
Dream each others smile
And dream it never ends
I was not myself last night
In the morning light
I could see the change was showing
Like a child who was always poor
Reaching out for more
I could feel the hunger growing
And as I lost control
I swore I'd sell my soul
For one love who would sing my song
And fill this emptiness inside me
One love who would sing my song
And lay beside me while we'd...
(a breif flash of YY)
Dream a bit of style
We'd dream a bunch of friends
Dream each others smile
And dream it never ends
All my dreams are lost and I can't sleep
And sleep alone could ease my mind
All my tears have dried and I can't weep
Old emotions
May they rest in peace and dream
Dream a bunch of friends - rest in peace
And dream, dream it never ends
(he flicks on the tv)
TV: at a local highschool a bully named Ushio was murdered last night in what could only be called a game of shadows. he stabbed himself-(Yuugi turns off the TV)
Yuugi: What did I do last night?
Grandpa: You Killed a man!
Yuugi: What?
Grandpa: Just kidding.
Yuugi: oh thank god.
Grandpa: Not really. haha. have fun at school, murderer!
(AT SCHOOL)
Teacher: please welcome our new student, CEO of the Kaiba Corperation, SETO KAIBA!
(Kaiba enters.)
Kaiba: Greetings, dimwits. do any of you have any rare cards I can steal, I mean see.
Yuugi: My grandpa's got a Blue eyes white dragon card...
Kaiba: Well that just gave me a blue eyes white Hard-on. now to your grandpa's house!
Teacher: What about class?
Kaiba: I'll give you 50 bucks.
Teacher: class dismissed.
(Yuugi's grandpa's)
Kaiba: Sweet card. oops dropped it. here it is, back.
Grandpa: you just switched that out with a fake.
Kaiba: no I didn't.
Yuugi: this is drawn by hand...
Kaiba: No it's not.
Yuugi: uh, yeah it is.
Kaiba: I'll duel you for it!
Yuugi: but it's already yours, you just stole it.
Kaiba: That's mine though, I gave you yours back.
Yuugi: no you didn't.
Kaiba: alright, this is gonna be a duel then, huh?
Yuugi: what?
Grandpa: let him keep the card, yuugi, I'll buy another one. Blue eyes are really common since they were included in every Yu-gi-oh, I mean Duel Monsters starter deck.
Kaiba: shut up old man!
(Yuugi morphs into YY)
YY: You hurt my grampa!
Kaiba: So?
YY: It's time to D-D-D-D-Duel!
(The two duel as they sing)
Kaiba: You're a loser
An abomination in the eyes of any sensitive man
YY: And you're a blind alley cruiser
Always heading down a losing straight
Dreaming that you're screaming at fate
You're a dead end, dead beat, nowhere Mister
With a kisser like a Mississippi alligator's sister
Kaiba: I took as much of you as any man can!
You've lost your heart
YY: You've lost your cause
Kaiba: You lost your baby
When you lost your balls
You lost your mind
You've lost your grip
So say bye-bye!
YY: You lost your Mom
you lost your Dad
And if I'm losing you
Well that's too bad
Kaiba: Well the best thing you could ever do is die
YY: You're a failure
A malformation in the guise of many
An also ran!
Kaiba: And you're a weeper and a wailer!
Always treading on the toes of the great
generally spreading your weight
You're a spiteful, hateful, assinine creature
A pupil with no scruples who's no better than the teacher
YY: I took as much of you as any man can!
You've lost your heart
You've lost your cause
Kaiba: You lost your baby
When you lost your balls
You lost your mind
When you lost your grip
So say bye-bye!
YY: you lost your cards,
your family
You've lost compassion
Now you're losing me
Kaiba: Well the best thing you could ever do is die
YY: Well the best thing you could ever do is die
Kaiba: Well the best thing you could ever do is die!
(YY has won the duel)
Kaiba: WHAT HAPPEN? HOW COULD I LOSE!
I AM A WORTHLESS DOG! yes I lost but I can not lose It is a Paradox that is making me talk like racer x who is in reality speed's brother I am he is you are he is me and we are all together, huh?
YY: Kaiba. Your punishment is that you can not kill yourself.
Kaiba: !
YY: Guess What else, Kaiba.
Kaiba: What?
YY: It's RAPE O'CLOCK! (YY begins to unbuckle his belt, Kaiba screams as there is a blackout)
(The next day, Gramps is bringing in the mail, as jounouchi shines Yuugi's shoes)
Jounouchi: Are these clean enough, boss?
Yuugi: More Polish!
Grampa: Yuugi, you got a package from Industrial Illusions!
Yuugi: You mean the company that makes the yu-gi-I mean Duel Monsters cards?
Grampa: The very same, my boy!
Jounouchi: massa, massa, open it! I wants to see!
(Yuugi opens the package to reveal a vhs tape)
Yuugi: A vhs tape? it's friggin' 2011, who uses vhs tapes anymore?
Grampa: I do-
Yuugi: shut it old man, do I need to get out the belt again?
Grampa: No! anything but that!
Jounouchi: oh, massa, please play that tape.
(Yuugi puts the tape in a vcr. Pegasus pops up on screen)
Pegasus: Greetings Yuugi-boy.
Yuugi: Who's this fruit?
Pegasus: Wha- Fruit? I'll have you know That I am Pegasus J. Crawford! I invented Duel Monsters!
Yuugi: yeah, what do you want?
Pegasus: Well, Yuugi Boy, I'm putting together a card game tournament-
Yuugi: psh. Like I wanna be part of that.
Pegasus: Why you little Bastard! I'm giving you a golden oppertunity, and you-
Yuugi: Gramps, what else is on?
Pegasus: ENOUGH! Yuugi. I will take something very near and dear to you.
(Gramps disappears)
Yuugi: Grampa!
Pegasus: he is mine now.
Yuugi: You- wait a minute if this is a tape how am I talking to you?
Pegasus: You see this? (he moves his hair to reveal the millenium eye) It lets me see the future. I recorded this tape knowing exactly what you would do, and say. now, I'll issue you a challenge. If you duel this tape, and Win, I'll set your gramps free. If you lose, You have to participate in "Duelist Kingdom" now, enter the tape! (The world around Yuugi changes, he and Jounouchi are transported to a darm room, where they sit at a table with Pegasus.)
Yuugi: I'm gonna kick your ass, Bro!
Pegasus: Don't you disrespect me little man!
Don't you derogate or deride!
You're in my world now
Not your world
And I got friends on the other side!
Chorus: He's got friends on the other side...
Pegasus: That's an echo, gentlemen. Just a little something we have here in The Shadow Realm.
Sit down at my table
Put your minds at ease
If you relax it will enable me to do anything I please
I can read your future
I can change it 'round some, too
I'll look deep into your heart and soul
Make your wildest dreams come true!
I got voodoo
I got hoodoo
I got things I ain't even tried!
And I got friends on the other side.
Chorus: He's got friends on the other side!
Pegasus: The cards, the cards, the cards will tell
The past, the present, and the future as well
The cards, the cards, just take three
Take a little trip into your future with me!
(He turns to Jounouchi)
Now you, young man, Are not like me
You come from two long lines of Poverty
You like to get high
But your funds are low
You need to marry a little honey whose daddy got dough
But freedom... takes green!
It's the green, it's the green, it's the green you need
And when I looked into your future
a green jacket I see!
(To Yuugi)
On you little man, I don't want to waste much time
You been pushed around all your life
You been pushed around by your Grampa, and your Friends and your mother.
And if you was married...
You'd be pushed around by your wife
But in your future, the you I see
(A brief image of YY)
Is exactly the man you always wanted to be!
And now, I believe I have won the duel.
Yuugi: What?
Pegasus: You see I distracted you with my song.
Yuugi: Well, I can sing a song, to you know!
Pegasus: Very well, If you sing a song, and reduce my life points to zero by the time you finish singing I'll let your grandpa go.
Yuugi: alright. alright. Let's see what songs do I-
Pegasus: Just kidding your gramps is mine.
(They return to reality)
Jounouchi: He gave me a green jacket, massa! Can I puts it on?
Yuugi: yes. Oh, How could this day get any worse?
(The door opens, kaiba enters)
Kaiba: hahahha. hey guys, are you ready for... DEATH-T?
Yuugi:
Kaiba: hahaha, to bad. I've kidnapped Anzu, Yuugi, and if you want her back, you have to beat all five floors of Death-T!
Yuugi: who?
Kaiba: What?
Yuugi: who did you kidnap?
Kaiba: Anzu...Anzu Mizaki...
Yuugi: You mean that chick from the opening scene?
Kaiba: uh...yeah.
Yuugi: Yeah I don't know her that well dude.
Kaiba: cool story Bro. But, anyway, you're coming with me, and your little slave, too!
Jounouchi: But I don't know nothin' bout no death-T's!
Kaiba: TOO BAD.
(Death-T)
yuugi: Oh God, how are we gonna win this Jounouchi?
Jounouchi: I don't know!
Honda: hey, guys what's up?
Yuugi: Honda, you're with us.
Honda: What?
Yuugi: The team's up to three!
Honda: What are you talking about?
Jounouchi: Kaiba kidnapped anzu, yuugi's gonna save her, I'm Yuugi's slave, and you just got drafted.
Honda: Oh. Okay then.
Kaiba: Greetings! Welcome to Death-T. Every floor is designed to test you and kill you. Any questions?
Yuugi: Why?
Kaiba: What?
Yuugi: why are you doing this to us? because I beat you at a card game?
Kaiba: No. Because You raped me after you beat me in a card game.
Yuugi: Oh. Okay, then.
Kaiba: Now, if there are no more questions... Let's get down to business
To defeat the Puns
Did they send me daughters
When I asked for sons?
You're the saddest bunch
I ever met
But you can bet
Before we're through
Mister, I'll make a man
out of you
(To Yuugi)
Tranquil as a forest
But on fire within
Once you find your center
you are sure to win
You're a spineless, pale
pathetic lot
And you haven't got a clue
Somehow I'll make a man
out of you
(Montage of the Death-T Challenges)
Honda: I'm never gonna catch my breath
Jounouchi: Say good-bye to those who knew me
Yuugi: Boy, was I a fool in school for cutting Jim
(an Image of YY stabbing Ushio)
Anzu: This guy's got me scared to death!
Yuugi: Hope he doesn't see
right through me
Honda: Now I really wish that I
knew how to swim
(Be a man)
Kaiba: You must be swift as
the coursing river
(Be a man)
With all the force
of a great typhoon
(Be a man)
With all the strength
of a raging fire
Mysterious as the
dark side of the moon
Yuugi: Time is racing toward us
till We arrive
Heed my every order
and you might survive
Kaiba: You're unsuited for
the rage of war
So pack up, go home
you're through
How could I make a man
out of you?
(Be a man)
you must be swift as
the coursing river
(Be a man)
With all the force
of a great typhoon
(Be a man)
With all the strength
of a raging fire
Mysterious as the
dark side of the moon
(Be a man)
Yuugi, Honda, jounouchi: We must be swift as
the Coursing river
(Be a man)
With all the force
of a great typhoon
(Be a man)
With all the strength
of a raging fire
Mysterious as the
dark side of the moon!
(they have reached the fourth floor. Mokuba awaits with his Capmon challenge)
Yuugi: I'm going in there.
Jounouchi: Good luck, massa!
Mokuba: Hi!
Yuugi: Uh, hi.
Mokuba: I have two fingers!
Yuugi: uh...yeah you do.
Mokuba: you have four eyes!
Yuugi: No I don't
Mokuba: Is this real life?
Yuugi: Okay, who the fuck is this kid?
Kaiba: That's my brother Mokuba.
Mokuba: Okay now...Okay now... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Yuugi: Let me guess, I have to beat him at capsule monsters chess?
Kaiba: No. You have to defeat him in Mortal Kombat!
Yuugi: Oh cool, I'm great at that game.
Kaiba: No. I mean, you each get a weapon and you have to duel to the death.
Yuugi: That's fucked up!
(Mokuba produces a knife)
Mokuba: Come and get it!
(Yuugi fights with mokuba. and wins.)
Yuugi: Okay, I killed your brother.
Kaiba: Stupid, stupid, stupid! Okay, Mutou come on in, for the last challenge. a duel with me.
Yuugi: Kaiba, I already beat you in a duel that one time.
Kaiba: oh, yeah...
Yuugi: I'll just beat you again.
Kaiba: I guess you don't have to do the last challenge, then, huh.
Yuugi: Now where's anzu?
Anzu: I'm here yuugi.
Yuugi: Now then. Let's all go home.
Kaiba: NO! I won't let you leave, You Fucking Raped me! and killed my brother!
Yuugi: actually I didn't.
Mokuba: Hi Bro!
Kaiba: Oh God-Dammit, I was actually hoping you had killed him, he's friggin' annoying. Guess I'll just have to kill you both!
(Kaiba draws a gun, and aims it at Yuugi. Yuugi morphs into YY)]
YY: Kaiba. Think about what you're doing! Remember your childhood!
When you were young
And your heart was an open book
You used to say, "Live and let live"
(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did)
But if this ever-changing world in which we live in
Makes you give in and cry
Say live and let die
Live and let die
Live and let die
Live and let die
Kaiba: (Brandishing his gun)
What does it matter to ya?
when you've got a job to do,
you gotta do it well
You gotta give the other fellow Hell!
YY: You used to say, "Live and let live'"
(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did)
But if this ever-changing world in which we live in
Makes you give in and cry
Say, live and let die
Both: Live and let die
Live and let die
Live and let die
Kaiba: You have a point there, Mutou. I used to be quite peaceful. But...I think I'm still gonna kill you. Live and let die, after all! (Aims the pistol at Yuugi's head)
YY: I didn't wanna do this but...Mind Rape!
(Kaiba collapses)
YY: haha. It's funny because he's paralyzed for life.
(Anzu Honda and Jonouchi all burst out laughing.)
Yuugi: Hey Honda.
Honda: Yeah?
YY: Remember when i said I'd kill you last?
Honda: Yeah?
YY: I lied. MIND RAPE! (Honda collapses)
End of ACT ONE
INTERMISSION
ACT TWO
(Yuugi sits alone)
Yuugi: ever since that day...That day I solved the puzzle. I've been blacking out. and now Gramps is gone... What's going on?
When you're alone, alone in the world
When you're alone in the world
Blown-away leaves get blown in the world
Swirled-away leaves get swirled
Where are two shoes that click to my clack?
Where is a voice to answer mine back?
I'm all alone...In the world.
YY: Hey.
Yuugi: What the fu- who are you?
YY: I'm you. And not.
Yuugi: Are you the one that beat Kaiba? and Killed Ushio?
YY: Yeah.
Yuugi: That's fuckin' bad ass.
YY: You know it is.
Yuugi: Dude, we should totally hang out!
My heart's Pounding with the glory now before me!
YY: Gee, Doc, I'm beginning to see, Doc!
Yuugi: My soul quivers, with the glory now in view
YY: Hell Doc, It's beginning to Jell!
We'll cut this town up like a great big cake!
Shake, Doc, let's me and you!
You've got what I need, baby,
You've got it and how.
You've got what I need, baby.
Together we can scale the heights
And I mean right now.
You've got what it takes, sweetie,
All the way from A to Z.
You've got what I need, baby,
and from now on, baby, you've got me.
(Spoken) From now on Aibou, it's gonna be you and me!
Yuugi: call me Yuugi.
YY: Aw, do I hafta? to tell you the truth kid, you're just a teensy weensy bit weird. But you're cute, you're cute!
You're loaded with class, baby,
Yuugi: La creme de la creme.
YY: Let's step on the gas, baby.
Oh, Yuugi, you're a million laughs.
Yuugi: and Me, you're a gem.
YY: You've got it in spades, lovey,
You're a pal, no ballyhoo.
I've got what I need, baby,
Both: 'Cause from now on, baby, I've got you.
YY: You've got it upstairs, baby,
The best in the house.
Yuugi: You're tops in my book, cookie
YY: Hit It Yuugi, (they high-five)
Ah, you're Mickey mouse!
Both: Here comes the new team, Mister.
We'll be great, just wait and see.
You've got what I need, baby,
'Cause from now on, baby,
Don't mean maybe
From Now on, baby
you've got me!
Yuugi: and together We'll take Duelist Kingdom!
(the two high five)
(Jounouchi rushes in)
Jounouchi: Oh Massa, massa! you better hurry, da' boat fo' duelist kingdom leaves any minute.
Yuugi: very well, let's go.
Jounouchi: Me? But I don't know nuthin' 'bout no duel monsters.
Yuugi: too bad. now get Anzu, and lets GTFO!
(Yuugi Jounouchi honda and anzu are all on their way to the boat leaving for duelist kingdom)
Yuugi: We're almost there.
Anzu: Why'd you guys invite me?
Yuugi: 'cause we need a chick or else the network will say we're sexist.
Anzu: Oh, Okay then.
Yuugi: Now where was the boat supposed to be at?
Jounouchi: 612 Wharf Avenue, right next to The Gentleman's club.
Honda: You guys, why am I going?
Yuugi: Actually, we didn't invite you, you just kinda showed up at my house.
Honda: (Sad) Oh. Okay, Then. They never care about me. Nobody does.
If someone stood up in a crowd
And raised his voice up way out loud
And waved his arm and shook his leg
You'd notice him
If someone in the movie show
Yelled "Fire in the second row
This whole place is a powder keg!"
You'd notice him
And even without clucking like a hen
Everyone gets noticed, now and then,
Unless, of course, that personage should be
Invisible, inconsequential me!
Cellophane
Mister Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there...
I tell ya
Cellophane
Mister Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there...
Suppose you was a little cat
Residin' in a person's flat
Who fed you fish and scratched your ears?
You'd notice him
Suppose you was a woman, wed
And sleepin' in a double bed
Beside one man, for seven years
You'd notice him
A human being's made of more than air
With all that bulk, you're bound to see him there
Unless that human bein' next to you
Is unimpressive, undistinguished
You know who...
Cellophane
Mister Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there...
I tell ya
Cellophane
Mister Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there
Never even know I'm there.
Yuugi: Yo, Honda, Shut the fuck up! we're trying to have a conversation over here! Jeez!
Anzu: Yuugi, There's something I need to tell you. Right Now.
Yuugi: Anzu, I already know you have a crush on me.
Anzu: What? no, I was just gonna say I'm on my period, and I wanted to know if one of you guys could go and get me some Tampons.
Honda: Whoa, TMI
Jounouchi: Massa, what's a Pur-ee-od?
Yuugi: Jounouchi, Shut the fuck up. Anyway, we're here.
(shot of the boat)
Jounouchi: Massa this gon' be fun!
Yuugi: uh...sure...
(they board the boat)
Mai: Hey you're cute.
Jounouchi: Me?
Mai: did I stutter?
Jounouchi: n-no
Mai: Come back to my room and I'll show you the real main event of the tournament (she winks)
Jounouchi: Oh massa, can I?
Yuugi: sure.
Jounouchi: Oh, I have the kin'est Massa in da whole south!
Honda: he does know that he's being fucking racist as hell, doesn't he?
Yuugi: Honestly I don't think he does.
Anzu: there goes a stupid, stupid, kid. (She waits a beat) Hey, who's that over there?
Yuugi: That's Keith Howard! He's an american duelist who made a killing selling books about his experiences in the vietnam war. they say he's got a few screws loose. Post traumatic stress disorder you know?
(Keith collapses crying)
Yuugi: Yeah...That's...not funny.
Anzu: that poor poor man.
Yuugi: Yeah, imagine if someone on a web series started mocking the fuck out of this guy?
Anzu: That'd be awful.
Keith: Sarge? Sarge?
Yuugi: he's kinda freakin' me out.
Anzu: Let's...not stay here.
(They wander into another part of the boat.)
Ryu: Yoyo! What up, homos?
Yuugi: oh look, It's dinosaur Ryuzaki.
Honda: Wow, we're not skimping out, we've already got almost all of the characters from the real Duelist kingdom arc!
Yuugi: haha. Oh, Tristan.
Honda: My name's honda.
Yuugi: hahaha you're such a card.
Haga: Sup dudes. I'm here too. well, there's my cameo. Bye! (Ryuzaki and haga exit)
(The door to Mai's room is flung open, and Jounouchi emerges dressed in boxers and an undershirt)
Jounouchi: Sometimes
Something beautiful happens
in this world
You don't know how to express yourself so
You just gotta sing
I just had sex
And it felt so good (felt so good)
A woman let me put my penis inside her (her)
I just had sex
And I'll never go back (never go back)
To the not-having-sex
Ways of the past
(To Yuugi)
Have you ever had sex?
I have, it felt great
It felt so good when I did it with my penis
A girl let me do it
It literally just happened
Having sex could make a nice man out' the meanest
(He opens the door to Keith's room - to keith)
You'll never guess where I just came from
I had sex
If I had to describe the feeling it was the best
When I had the sex
'Man, my penis felt great
And I called my parents right after I was done
(Turns around, notices Haga.)
Oh hey, didn't see you there
Guess what I just did
Had sex, undressed, saw her boobies and the rest
Haga: Was sure
Nice of her to let you do that thing
Anzu: Nice of any girl ever
Jounouchi: Now sing!
I just had sex
And it felt so good (felt so good)
A woman let me put my penis inside her (her)
I Wanna tell the world
To be honest
I'm surprised she even wanted me to do it
Doesn't really make sense
But man, screw it
I ain't one to argue with a good thing
She could be my wife
Yuugi: That good?
Jounouchi: The best 30 seconds of my life
I'm so humbled by a girls ability to let me do her
Cuz honestly I'd have sex with a pile of manure
With that in mind the soft, nice-smellin' girl's better
She let me wear my chain and my turtle neck sweater
So this one's dedicated to them girls
That let us flop around on top of them
If you're near or far, whether short or tall
We wanna thank you all for lettin' us fuck you
Mai: I kept looking at my watch
Yuugi: Doesn't Matter, Had Sex!
Jounouchi: But I cried the whole time!
Yuugi: Doesn't matter, had sex
Jounouchi: I think she might have been a racist
Mai: Doesn't matter, had sex
Jounouchi: She put a bag on my head
Mai: Still counts
Jounouchi: I just had sex
And my dreams came true (dreams came true)
So if you had sex in the last 30 minutes then you're qualified to sing with me
Jounouchi, Mai, Haga, Ryuzaki: I just had sex
And it felt so good
A woman let me put my penis inside her!
I just had sex
And I'll never go back
To the not-having-sex
Ways of the past
Yuugi: Cool story, Bro.
Mai: Come see me any time.
Jounouchi: (gulps) Oh, lawdy, lawdy! Massa, was dat good.
Yuugi: Now that you're done having fun, we're almost at Duelist Kingdom.
Jounouchi: Gee Massa, dis sho' is one "Love Boat".
Yuugi: No.
Honda: Jounouchi, Shut the fuck up.
Anzu: Even I can make better jokes than that.
Announcer: Attention, Duelists! Welcome to duelist kingdom. You will be greeted by Mr. Pegasus in a few moments. A bellboy will be here to collect your luggage, but for now, enjoy the beach!
(They exit the boat)
Yuugi: The beach is a place where a man can feel
He's the only soul in the world that's real,
(Shot of Ushio in his bellboy uniform)
Well I see a face coming through the haze,
I remember him from those crazy days.
Ain't you the guy who used to set the pace
Riding up in front of a hundred faces,
I don't suppose you would remember me,
But I used to follow you back in '63!
Ushio: I've got a good job
And I'm newly born.
You should see me dressed up in my uniform.
I work in hotel, all gilt and flash.
Remember the place where the doors were smashed?
Yuugi: Bell Boy!
Ushio: I got to keep running now.
Yuugi: Bell Boy!
Ushio: Keep my lip buttoned down.
Yuugi: Bell Boy!
Ushio: Carry this baggage out.
Yuugi: Bell Boy!
Always running at someone's heel.
You know how I feel, always running at someone's heel.
Ushio: Some nights I still sleep on the beach.
Remember when stars were in reach.
Then I wander in early to work,
Spend the day licking boots for my perks.
Jounouchi: A beach is a place where a man can feel
He's the only soul in the world that's real,
Well I see a face coming through the haze,
I remember him from those crazy days.
Ushio: (to Yuugi) People often change
But when I look in your eyes,
You could learn a lot from
A job like mine.
The secret to me
Isn't flown like a flag
I carry it behind
This little badge
What says...
Yuugi: Bell Boy!
Ushio: I got to keep running now.
Yuugi: Bell Boy!
Ushio: Keep my lip buttoned down.
Yuugi: Bell Boy!
Ushio: Carry this baggage out.
Yuugi: Bell Boy!
Always running at someone's heel.
You know how I feel, always running at someone's heel.
(Ushio Leaves)
Yuugi: That guy cleaned up good.
Jounouchi: I thought Yami No Yuugi killed that guy?
Yuugi: guh, well obviously he got better!
Anzu: This island really is beautiful.
Yuugi: It sure is.
Announcer: And now. The moment you've all been waiting for! I would like to introduce you all to the one, the only, Pegasus J. Crawford!
Pegasus: Welcome! Welcome all of you to my beautiful island. This is the moment we have all been waiting for. Duelist Kingdom! Come one, come, all! I shall give you a tour of the island!
Come with me
And you'll be
In a world of
Pure imagination
Take a look
And you'll see
Into your imagination
We'll begin
With a spin
Traveling in
The world of my creation
What we'll see
Will defy
Explanation
If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Wanta change the world?
There's nothing
To it
There is no
Life I know
To compare with
Pure imagination
Living there
You'll be free
If you truly wish to be
If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Wanta change the world?
There's nothing
To it
There is no
Life I know
To compare with
Pure imagination
Living there
You'll be free
If you truly
Wish to be
(Fade to black. Title Card: MANWHILE IN DOMINO HOSPITAL)
(Kaiba lies in a hospital bed. his eyes snap open. )
Kaiba: Dreaming, I was only dreaming
Of another place and time
Where my family's from
Singing, I can hear them singing
When the rain had washed away
All these scattered dreams
Dying, everyone's reminded
Hearts are washed in misery
Drenched in gasoline
Laughter, there's no more laughter
Songs of yesterday now live in the underground
Life before the lobotomy
Kaiba sang the eulogy!
Sign of my love a lost memory
From the end of the Century
Well it's enough to make you sick
To cast a stone and throw a brick
When the sky is falling down
It burned your dreams into the ground
Mokuba: Seto's lesson
Is what he's been sold
I Am normal and self-controlled
Kaiba: Remember to learn to forget
(He takes a swig from a flask of whiskey)
Whiskey shots and cheap cigarettes
Well I'm not stoned, I'm just fucked up
I got so high, I can't stand up
I'm not cursed cause I've been blessed
I'm not in love cause I'm a mess
Like refugees
We're lost like refugees
Like refugees
We're lost like refugees
The brutality of reality
Is the freedom that keeps me from
Dreaming, I was only dreaming
Of another place and time
Where my family's from
Singing, I can hear them singing
When the rain had washed away all these scattered dreams
Dying, everyone's reminded
Hearts are washed in misery
Drenched in gasoline
Laughter, there's no more laughter
Songs of yesterday
Now live in the underground
Mokuba: Brother!
Kaiba: Mokuba. Where am I?
Mokuba: The hospital. You've been in a coma for four days.
Kaiba: Mokuba, Where is Yuugi?
Mokuba: He and his friends went to Duelist kingdom to get back yuugi's kidnapped grampa!
Kaiba: Yuugi. That Guy! I WILL kill him!
(Kaiba struggles to stand, but collapses)
Mokuba: That yuugi guy messed up your spine pretty bad, Seto. The doctor says you'll be in a wheelchair for the rest of your life!
Kaiba: Oh. Great.
(A nurse comes in with a wheelchair)
Nurse: I overheard your conversation. Here's a wheelchair, so that you can get around.
Kaiba: Thanks.
Nurse: Don't mention it.
Kaiba: K, bye. (the nurse leaves.) I'm going to duelist kingdom to get yuugi.
Mokuba: Can I come too big brother?
Kaiba: No. It's far to dangerous for a youngster like yourself.
Mokuba: can I at least have some cash to get pizza, while you're gone?
Kaiba: No.
Mokuba: You never give me your money
You only give me your funny paper
and in the middle of negotiations
you break down
Kaiba: I never give you my number
I only give you my situation
and in the middle of investigation
I break down
Out of college, money spent
See no future, pay no rent
All the money's gone, nowhere to go
Any jobber got the sack
Monday morning, turning back
Yellow lorry slow, nowhere to go
But oh, that magic feeling, nowhere to go
Oh, that magic feeling
Nowhere to go
(Outside the hospital Kaiba packs up his Limo for the trip to the airport)
One sweet dream
Pick up the bags and get in the limosine
Soon we'll be away from here
Step on the gas and wipe that tear away
One sweet dream came true today
Came true today
Came true today (yes it did)
(as the limo drives out of sight the song slowly fades out)
Kaiba: (To Mokuba) One two three four five six seven,
All good children go to Heaven
One two three four five six seven,
All good children go to Heaven
(Shot of a plane taking off)
(Back in duelist Kingdom)
Yuugi: Wow, can you believe that we already beat most of the contestants and have ten star chips each?
Jounouchi: This is definitely not a ploy by the author to cut some time out of the second act!
Yuugi: No sirree!
Honda: What up you guys?
Yuugi: Not much.
Anzu: Honda and I were talking and-
(LOUD NOISES)
Jounouchi: Massa! Massa, What's dat?
Anzu: and yet not a moment ago he was speaking fine.
Yuugi: What is that noise?
Kaiba's Voice: HAHAHAHA Yuugi!
Yuugi: that voice...it sounds so familiar...
Kaiba's Voice: Do you know Who this is?
Yuugi: uh...no.
(Kaiba is wheeled in in a wheelchair by hobson)
Yuugi: Kaiba! You're out of your coma! Good to see you buddy!
Kaiba: Shut up you sick son of a bitch! You raped me, an then you paralyzed me! My spinal chord is cut into three pieces. I'll never walk again!
Yuugi:psh, whatever.
Kaiba: You could not understand the...amount of sheer. HATE. I have for you.
Yuugi: I wouldn't fuck with me if I were you.
Kaiba: and why not?
(Yuugi Morphs into YY)
YY: Here's why, Bitch! (He throws a dagger at Kaiba, stabbing him in the crotch)
Kaiba: hahaha, I can't feel anything below the waist!
YY: Try this one, then! (He pulls out a deck of YGO cards) See this?
Kaiba: OMYGOD that's a blue eyes!
YY: how would you feel if-(he rips the card in half)
Kaiba:
YY: hahahaha. Kaiba. You are weak as a child, and yet you still attack. I like your style. because of that, I'm going to do this.
(Kaiba stands up)
Kaiba: I'm able to walk again! Holy shit! this is a miracle! O my god, thank you! But now... Oh shit what's tha- O god it hurts!
YY: yeah, I'm still angry with you a little so I left the knife in there.
Kaiba: Oh jesus, you're sick!
YY: I know.
Kaiba: look, let's just call this one a draw, okay?
(YY nods in agreement. Kaiba pulls the knife out, and begins to exit)
Kaiba: (to himself) I can walk again, incredible!
(kaiba is now completely gone)
Jounouchi: Oh Massa, Massa! We sho' got him good! Where should we go now?
YY: you see that? (he points to pegasus' castle in the distance) I reckon we should head there.
In the velvet darkness of the blackest night
Burning bright, there's a guiding star
No matter what or who you are.
Yuugi and Anzu: There's a light over at the Frankenstein Place
There's a light burning in the fireplace
There's a light, light in the darkness of everybody's life.
Anzu: I can see the flag fly, I can see the rain
Just the same, there has got to be
Something better here for you and me.
Yuugi, anzu, and Honda: There's a light over at the Frankenstein Place
There's a light burning in the fireplace
There's a light, light in the darkness of everybody's life.
(Pegasus' shadow moves into view of the castle's window)
Pegasus: The darkness must go down the river of nights dreaming
Flow morphia slow, let the sun and light come streaming
Into my life, into my life.
Yuugi, Anzu, Honda, and Jounouchi: There's a light over at the Frankenstein Place
There's a light burning in the fireplace
There's a light, light in the darkness of everybody's life.
(The doors to pegasus' castle swing open. YY, Anzu, Honda, and Jounouchi enter)
YY: Hello.
Pegasus: Ah, but this is not the yuugi boy I dueled last time! Welcome to chataeu Pegasus.
YY: Who else made it this far?
Keith: Greetings fellow.
YY: Oh great.
Keith: Sarge we got charlie coming over the hill, what should I do? SARGE? (Keith collapses)
Pegasus: I let him here because I felt bad for him.
YY: That poor man.
Mai: I'm here too, hot stuff.
YY: Your charms won't work on me, mai, as you see, I'm quite gay.
Jounouchi: It works on me Mai!
Mai: You, I could beat blindfolded.
Honda: I made it too you guys!
Anzu: Oh shut it, already!
Honda: You guys... Why do you always-
Pegasus: Let the finals Begin!
Ushio: I'm playing too you guys!
Narrator: and so they dueled. but they were just too good. every duel ended in a tie. except for when Mai dueled anzu. Anzu won because mai was a total pussy. anyway, the duelists decided they needed one man to go up against pegasus. and only one. and since every duel ended in a tie, it was time for a vote.
Honda: We need a man that is simple perfection
There's nothing that's harder to find
Someone to lead us protect us and feed us
And help us to make up our minds
Anzu: We need a man that's sophisticated
Quiet and strong and well educated
Keith: (to YY)Where to go what to do
Could it be somebody super like you?
Honda: We need a man that can stand as a symbol
And symbols have got to be tall
Anzu: Someone with taste and the tiniest waist
With his help would not life be a ball
Jounouchi: If we had fun he would not restrain us
If we got caught he would just explain us
Where to go what to do
Could it be somebody super like you?
All(except YY): We pledge allegiance to his gracefulness
And charming manners
With a voice that's both sides choice
He'll bring us to our knees in admiration
He is king of all who see and hear
His perfect pitch and more surprises
When his time is come a stallion rises
Anzu: We need a man with a head on his shoulders
Honda: A nose that is simply divine
Anzu: Hollywood smile and a perfect profile
And with eyes that would sparkle and shine
Keith: Long flowing hair for a crowning glory
There'd be a man who could tell our story
Where to go what to do
Could it be somebody super like you?
All(except YY): We pledge allegiance to his gracefulness
And charming manners
With a voice that's both sides choice
He'll bring us to our knees in admiration
He is king of all who see and hear
His perfect pitch and more surprises
When his time is come a stallion rises
Rises...rises...rises
(YY is brought face to face with pegasus)
YY: Where is my grampa?
Pegasus: Right here (He points to grampa who has been sitting quietly in an armchair)
Gramps: hi!
Pegasus: And now we duel!
YY: Just wait a sec, Pegasus. Why do you want to duel me? Who are you?
Pegasus: I want that puzzle you wear around your neck! I have made it my goal to collect the millennium items in order to ressurect my dead wife!
YY: Psh, like YOU'RE straight.
Pegasus: Anyway, many years ago I was in egypt. There, I met a man named Shadi, who told me-
YY: Look, we gonna duel or what?
Pegasus: You little-
YY: Dude, you're starting to piss me off.
Pegasus: Enough of this! Let's Duel!
YY: Now we're talkin'!
Zoo time is she and you time
The mammals are your favourite type, and you want her tonight
Heartbeat, increasing heartbeat
You hear the thunder of stampeding rhinos, elephants and tacky tigers
This town ain't big enough for both of us
And it ain't me who's gonna leave
Pegasus: Flying domestic flying
And when the stewardess is near do not show any fear
Heartbeat increasing heartbeat
You are a khaki-coloured bombadier it's Hiroshima that you're nearing
This town ain't big enough for both of us
And it ain't me who's gonna leave
YY: Daily, except for Sunday
You dawdle in to the cafe where you meet her each day
Heartbeat, increasing heartbeat
As twenty cannibals have hold of you, they need their protein just like you do
This town ain't big enough for both of us
And it ain't me who's gonna leave
Shower, another shower
You've got to look your best for her and be clean everywhere
Heartbeat, increasing heartbeat
The rain is pouring on the foreign town, the bullets cannot cut you down
This town ain't big enough for both of us
Both: And it ain't me who's gonna leave
Pegasus: Census, the latest census
There'll be more girls who live in town though not enough to go round
Heartbeat, increasing heartbeat
You know that:
This town isn't big enough,
YY: not big enough for both of us
Pegasus: This town isn't big enough,
Both: not big enough for both of us
YY: And I ain't gonna leave!
Announcer: This just in! Yuugi Mutou has dueled Pegasus TO DEATH! This is unprecadented. Yuugi Mutou, You are indeed the king of card games!
(A dejected Kaiba looks on. he stands up)
Kaiba: I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own
I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing
Crowd: (referring to Yuugi) Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!
Kaiba: One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand
I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
Once you go there was never
Never an honest word
And that was when I ruled the world
It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People couldn't believe what I'd become
Revolutionaries wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh who would ever want to be king?
I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world
I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world
(A tear rolls down his cheek)
(as kaiba turns he sees someone he doesn't recognize)
Voice: Hello, My name is Bakura, Ryou Bakura, Nice to meet you.
Kaiba: (Sung) I WILL RETURN!
(The music swells and -
THE END.)
To be continued in "Yu-gi-oh: The memory world sing-along!"