Hello all! This is my first attempt at a JokerXHarley story. I LOVE them as a couple. Enjoy =)
Disclaimer: Also I do not own Batman or any of the characters.
A stray black cat crouched in the shadows, waiting to pounce on its prey. A greasy looking rat was sniffing a discarded take-out box, unaware of the danger he was in. The cat steadied her balance, waiting for the right moment. Just before she was about to leap, a large black SUV skidded around the corner, frightening all of Gotham's creatures back into the dark alleys. Then another vehicle rounded the corner screeching after it, hot on its tail.
"Faster Harley! Do you want to take an extended vacation back to Arkham!" yelled the Joker as he twisted in his seat, eyes on the Bat mobile. They had managed to escape the asylum three days ago, and he was just getting used to his freedom. Sure he could manage to breakout again, but the security had doubled and it wasn't an easy process. He had been so bored.
"S-s-sorry Boss!" squeaked Harley Quinn anxiously. She disliked the idea of heading back to Arkham just as much as he did, but with Batman stalking their every move it was getting harder to keep a low profile. She looked sideways at her partner. They had been close to breaking into Gotham's Firearm Warehouse but Bat-Brain had showed up, so he was already in a bad mood, and if they got locked back up in Arkham he wouldn't speak to her for weeks.
Suddenly the Joker swore loudly making her jump.
Two cop cars zoomed out of an alley they had just passed, taking their place behind Batman.
"Leave it to the Gotham police to jump at an opportunity for Batman's sloppy seconds", he said grumpily.
POP
"Uh-oh" said Harley. They could hear the air leaving the right back tire rapidly. Joker poked his head out the window, one of Batman's bladed boomerangs was sticking out of the shredded rubber.
"Head towards the park!" he shouted over the sirens, pointing in the direction of the large wooded area just beyond the city limits. Harley pushed her foot down as hard as she could.
The large car pulled ahead of the others, Joker turned around to see the flashing lights beginning to fade, but he couldn't see any sign of the long black car.
"Now where's that-"
They both shouted in surprise as the Bat mobile appeared out of the dark alongside of them.
"If ya wanna play dirty, your chasing the right girl Bats" and with a heavy jerk of the wheel Harley slammed the side of the SUV into their pursuer. They were speeding towards the entrance of the wooded park and the road was beginning to shrink into a single lane. She yanked the wheel again harder this time, but Batman had hit the breaks and their car went swerving off the road and into the dark.
"Were heading right for the trees you idiot!" yelled the Joker, trying to take hold of the wheel.
"Hey! You're gonna get us killed!" she screamed back wrestling his hands away.
They both were launched out of their seats as the vehicle jumbled between the trees, on into the forest. They roared forward until slamming into a fallen tree, wedging itself underneath a layer of hanging brush. The car gave one feeble gurgle and then the engine died.
"Uhnn" groaned Harley, upside down in the driver's seat. Putting a hand to her forehead she felt a small cut above her eye, but other than that she was unharmed. She clambered back up right and noticed her boss was missing from the passenger seat. A large hole in the windshield was busted out, blocked by a large branch. Fearing the worst she looked out the window into the darkness searching for a body.
"Oh no, Puddin'!" she cried trying to open the door, but it wouldn't budge. Panicking she began to beat on the window.
"You are so fired", said a muffled voice from the back seat.
Harley spun around in her seat and peeked over the headrest "Puddin'!"
Joker was sprawled facedown in the backseat, his arm hanging limply over the side.
Harley climbed into the back, lying on top of him, "I thought you got thrown from the car for a minute" she sniffled clinging to his back.
"Geroffmeh", he said into the seat as his limp hand began to curl into a fist.
Harley moved and helped the injured man into a sitting position, his nose was bleeding and there was a large bruise beginning to form on his left cheek. Once he brushed himself off he turned to Harley, "Pet, will you come close for a moment?"
She smiled and scooted closer to him. He reached out his hands as if to cup her face, and his expression suddenly turned from calm to absolute fury as he began to choke and shake her.
"YOU IDIOT GIRL YOU HAVE NO DRIVING SKILLS AND NEARLY MURDERED US NOW WERE STUCK IN THIS CAR SURROUNDED BY POLICE!" he stopped short. Realizing what he said, as he released a now blue-faced Harley Quinn, and dived down dragging her with him. Peering through the brush, he could just make out the police lights about 100 feet behind them. He smiled to himself, they're tracks could only lead them into the woods so far, plus their car was completely invisible covered by the layers of debris from the fallen tree they had hit.
"Haha! Were safe Harley girl," he said finally looking down.
She was slumped down in her seat arms folded, pouting from the abuse.
"That's all great and fine really, but were stuck in here. All the junk on the car is blocking the doors"
He tried the door behind him, but no matter how hard he pushed the door would not open.
"I can radio the boys," he said reaching into his pocket.
"They're not there" she said, a note of worry in her voice, "I sent them home for the night figuring we'd be out and about n' all…"
He turned back to face her slowly.
"I-i-i didn't think it would make a difference! We were going out anyway and-and" she began to stutter as he moved towards her.
He raised his hand and she winced shielding her face. He saw a drop of blood fall from her forehead and hit the seat. Sighing he lowered his hand and sat back grumbling. Harley looked around and lowered her arms confused.
"What's wrong? Are you hurt?" she asked, reaching over and touching his cheek
He let her fawn over him for a few moments before waving her off.
He stretched and kicked his shoes off, "Might as well get comfortable," he said removing his jacket and putting his hands behind his head.
Harley removed her mask and pulled down her hood. Untying her pigtails she shook her hair out and caught the Joker watching her from the corner of his eye. She smiled to herself. They hadn't had much time alone since they'd been out of Arkham, especially in that way. Her Puddin' may be a murdering psychopath, but he was still a man. She unzipped her suit in the front just enough so that a hint of cleavage was visible. But when she glanced back his eyes were closed.
"So he wants to play it like that then huh? Well we'll see about that", she thought to herself as she sat up straighter, arching her back.
"Quit moving around Harl, I'm trying to sleep here", he snapped.
But she only grinned at him. Swinging her leg over his she sat down slowly on his lap, straddling him. She could already feel the effect she was having on him. He cracked one menacing eye open.
"My zippers stuck…" she looked innocently back at him, leaning forward slightly so that her chest was level with his eyes, "Could ya help a girl out?" Then she felt a movement beneath her as his arousal grew. Still staring at her angrily, he wrapped one hand around her neck, while the other unzipped her suit, exposing her breasts. It fell off her shoulders and his grip tightened. She bit her bottom lip staring back at him. Then with a growl he yanked her head down towards his, kissing her roughly. Harley couldn't help but giggle as the Joker threw her down into her back and began peeling the rest of her costume away.
The Gotham police had given up search of the vehicle. Batman had reported seeing the car travel into the woods, but they couldn't see nor hear any signs of the Joker and Harley Quinn. Guessing they were long gone, they began to pile back into the cars and head back to the station. One young officer was sliding into his seat when he thought he heard a noise coming from the woods. He squinted into the night and jumped when he heard a loud screech. The officers sitting in front laughed at their rookie's bad nerves.
"Screeching owl Bill c'mon. Don't let the Commissioner see you acting all squeamish out on the job". Bill turned red and slammed the door.
The Joker sat up and buttoned his pants before lighting a cigar. Harley Quinn sat rubbing the side of her head, still naked.
"Ya didn't have to hit me so hard with that rubber chicken y'know" she said patting down her hair.
"You didn't have to scream like that and possibly attract every city policeman in the area," he said puffing his cigar. She suddenly looked scared and glanced back through the trees.
The Joker laughed manically, "Ree-lax Harley. Were good for the night".
She glared at him as she zipped up her suit. Putting out the cigar he leaned back against the door and allowed Harley to snuggle beside him.
"You know I'm still mad, right?"
"Aren't we all?" she replied happily, nuzzling her face into his shoulder.