The Sorting Hat

by Randomly Various

I wrote this randomly. Look at my name. It's a one-shot look at the Sorting Hat's next two songs.

Harry's Sixth Year

Last year we all found out the truth

About the Dark Lord, see

I warned you, I told you

I gave you my plea

Now things won't be normal

Around our friendly old school

What once was is not

Now don't you look like fools?

I will warn you once more this year

So listen closely to my rhyme

Heed the advice, look for the signs

It's more than Sorting time

You Gryffindors, how brave you are

How daring and cunning

But you must remember just one thing

Some things do get you running

You Slytherins, such a crude bunch

Sought for power and to achieve

But arrogance leads to your downfall

And a good kicking you'll receive

You Hufflepuffs how sweet you are

Naive and friendly, too

But sometimes even you turn cold

Only the best of us do

You Ravenclaws with your big brains

You're witty and you're smart

But even you don't know some answers

Deep down in your heart

Deep down inside, you're all the same

Though some traits you clearly show

We all are brave, just, smart, and crafty

This is something you must all know

Don't judge on house or fame or fortune

Don't judge on what I say

I know it's wrong, and you'll see too

One sweet, powerful day

Come your day of reckoning

You'll see that I am right

Now, I will sort each one of you

Ten years from now and tonight!

Harry's Seventh Year

Like a shadow in the morn

We always stand together

And now you all can see

It makes everything better

Yes there are some outside our ring

Of hope, of joy, of glory

But I hope tonight I'll change their mind

Please listen to my story

It does not do to hold a grudge

To dwell on what won't be

It divides, it collides

And still you do not see?

It's happened before and it shall happen again

Get this through your head

The four founders found out oh so late

So find out now instead

It'll ruin all we've ever worked for

All we have become

It's easier to love than hate

To the darkness, do not succumb

In the end, it's all the same

We don't stop our breathing and our learning

Ice remains frozen

And fire remains burning

Storms may rage against us

Magic may soon end

Yet here we stand, just as strong

Is that too hard to comprehend?

It will never change

My dear child

It doesn't make sense to carry on

With something hardly worth while

I am merely a silly hat

Singing my yearly song

I spend all year to think it up

And I still think it is wrong

Gryffindor, you are so brave

Hufflepuff's a sweetheart

Slytherin is lofty

Ravenclaw is always smart

Now you know the houses

As they were meant to stand

You'll be sorted, you'll be mixed

Gee, isn't this grand?

Start the sorting, I don't care

It's all the same to me

To sit here on this stool and gab

About Hogwarts history

Please stand together is all I ask

Is it really that hard of a task?

So put me on and I will sort you

And first years, please relax!