Another afternoon spent locked in her room, most teens would take that as punishment but Violet was content there. Granted, full roam of the house without a Harmon-esc Spanish inquisition would have been nice, but apparently with the hypocritical adulterer and selfish ginger incubator came 'rules'. That was amusing seeing as she was the only one in the house that didn't need boundaries. If parents could make rules, kids should be able to come up with a few of their own. On Violet's list: 1. Don't cheat. Don't think about cheating, don't talk about cheating, don't dream about thinking about talking about cheating. 2. Hands off the help, especially the old, creepy looking maid. 3. Try to treat your kids equally, you self absorbed cunt. 4. Eating organic and using as many chemical-free things as possible doesn't make you a good person, it makes you gullible to think it'll improve your quality of life.
Grinning to herself, Violet couldn't help but be amused by her disdain for her parents. Sure, every teen hated their folks at some point, but she definitely felt more justified in her annoyance. Crossing her bedroom to slip her Ipod into it's dock, she spun through the playlists and settled on 'fuck off' which was mainly comprised of girl bands that made her feel empowered and pissed off. Turning it as loud as it would go, the cocky smirk she reserved for Tate mostly these days crossed her thin lips as she spun around and began dancing around her room as she stripped from the thick knit sweater she wore to school. Leaving it on the chair in front of her vanity, she pulled her knee length floral dress over her head and flung it over in the hamper's general direction. Shuffling to her bed in beat with the song playing, for the first time in a while Vi let herself feel fun and feisty. Falling onto the mattress, she tugged at the gray leggings and kicked off her black granny-like heels (well, if you count a chunky inch to be 'heel' worthy). Laying in her bra and underwear, Violet's hair framed her face as she shook her bed with her attempts at dancing, her hands lightly beating the bed as she lost herself in the music.
"Violet!" Her mother's voice made her flinch, immediately dragging her out of her catatonic state. Pushing herself up, Vi grabbed her over-sized sweater and slipped it on, closing it and holding it tight as she moved to open her door.
"What?" Looking completely annoyed as her mother appeared in her doorway once it was open to her, Vivien's pathetic expression looked hopeful before she got a glimpse of her daughter's attire.
"What are you doing?" Outstretching her arms to offer the teen a plate of freshly baked organic oatmeal raisin cookies and a glass of soy milk, Viv really did seem to be trying a little more these days.
"Making bombs to hand out for my homeroom's Christmas party." Her tone was as dry as her mom's cookies that she refused, taking the glass instead and chugging half of it before returning it to the older woman. "Is that all?"
"I'm going out for a bit, if you need anything I'll have my phone on me." Taking a step and turning to walk down the hall, Vivien stopped herself and turned to her daughter's bedroom door once more. "You know.. there's a lot to do in this town. Outside. Away from this house. You don't have to stay in your bedroom for the remainder of your high school years."
There was no need to respond to Vivien, her face said it all with it's expressionless way, Violet stared at the woman like she was speaking Russian, merely blinking in her direction until she turned and left for real this time. Rolling her eyes as the door shut, Violet scoffed as she locked herself away again, letting the sweater slide off her shoulders in front of the door as she crossed to the closet. An amused grin crept across her dry lips as her eyes fell upon a slip dress (bigger emphasis on slip than dress) as Hole happened to hit the speakers. It was amusing to her that her crush was the teen embodiment of Kurt, and while she was no Courtney, it would be fun to play pretend. Reaching around to unclasp her bra, she let it hit the floor before reaching for the white silky number. Pulling it over her head, she couldn't help but immediately feel out of place. She wasn't sexy, it wasn't in her vocabulary, no matter how hard she tried but who would want to try? She was perfect the way she was, she should believe it after repeating after her father growing up. Sure! Shoving a mantra down your child's throat was the sure fire way to assure them of their inner beauty. Idiot.
Taking a seat in front of her vanity, Violet for once got lost in thoughts that didn't revolve around Tate, instead she digressed to Boston and the boy there. Idly smearing red lipstick across her lips, her hand moved to grab a thin comb to attach to her hair, back combing sporadically to make her Courtney Love persona complete. Staring at her self in the mirror, she saw only memories of a 13 year old girl who actually wanted to fit in for a hot second. Wearing make up she demanded her mother get (clearly it got good use since years later it was still hardly touched), skinny jeans, a cliche 'fashionable' top, even a push up bra with padding to really finish off the fake look she wore for all of a week.
His name was Jacob and he was gorgeous.
It was her first and last crush, besides Tate of course, but they were completely incomparable. He had passed her a note in Biology and she was hooked. She was no where near the type of girl he went for normally, but she could be, or so she foolishly thought. He wanted to hang out that Friday so in preparation for the momentous occasion she dressed up all week, each day more extreme than the last. Dragging his attention her way more and more, the big day had quickly come and the note left in her locker told her to meet him at a small ice cream spot a few blocks away from school. She rarely got excited over things, but this was one to go down in the books. Rushing out of the school, she had nearly sprinted the entire way there.
Looking down with a hint of a tear in her eyes, Violet was back to reality and staring at the scars on her forearms. That was the day she had turned off everything. Her desire to please others. Her desire to want anything. Desire, period. Dragging a fingertip across the oldest scar, she let out a quiet sigh before turning back to the mirror. Grabbing a black eyeliner pencil, her small frame leaned forward to get a better look as she started heavily laying on the war paint.
"You are the biggest freak in the entire world!"
The words stung far more than the smacks across her face, the fists in her ribs, the kicks to her shins. There was a group of 10, Jacob heading it, and his band of merry whores fell in line. Ripping her floral tunic to shreds, the group had left her for dead in the alley behind the shop, not giving her a reason as to why they assaulted her aside from her 'deserving' it. She had drug herself home, a five block walk that took 10 minutes had taken almost an hour after the incident and while normally she would hate her mom being home, the one day she had needed her the woman was out. She had sat in the tub, shower on full blast hitting her cowered body as she sat, knees to chest, letting the hot water wash away all the blood and dirt.
Swallowing hard as she dropped the pencil, Violet shot up from the chair, crossed the room to her Ipod and changed from the current Breeders song to Hole "Letter To God", it was the song she listened to the first time she ever took to self healing. Sinking to the floor next to her bed, her hand automatically went for her nightstand drawer as if on it's own accord. Pulling out a razor blade, she looked at the oldest scar and opened it once more. Replacing the blade with a cigarette, she tried to feel nothing as she lit it, staring at the blood drip down her skin and onto her flimsy dress. The tears stung almost as much as the smoke hitting her eyes, and with that she shut them, letting her head fling back against the side of the mattress as she let herself cry for the first time in quite some time. She didn't even know why, she didn't hurt, if anything, she felt nothing.
**this will be my first attempt at a multi-chapter piece**