Author's Notes: Anyone reading this knows that Nickelodeon owns the rights to Big Time Rush, right? I just like to play chess with the boys, moving them around as I see fit.

Yes, the title is based on the Disney song, because it's always been one of my favorites and because it fits. Also? Christmas in August? Don't even ask, I don't know. Seriously. I don't know.

I was going to post this when it was completed, but it's not going to be very long (ha, she says now) and when I realized I'd have to break it up on LJ anyway, I decided to just chapter it. So...yeah.

This pairing took me by surprise, and it's so different from what I'm used to writing that I'm not even sure it's any good. Please let me know if you like it-or don't like it, that's fine, too. Because I'm nervous about this one.

Every single word of this fic (and probably all future fics I write) is dedicated to my LJ buddy kathrynew30 . The words came from me, but the story, ideas, tone, characters, the entire dynamic of this was borne out of conversations between us and how we see this pairing. She is my cheerleader, my sounding board, my squeeing partner, my friend. SHE GETS ME. And I love her way much more than is healthy.

XOXOXOX

"I can't reach. I hate being short!" With a frustrated groan, Logan throws the ornament down into the box of Christmas decorations at his feet.

"Hey, careful! Don't break that, it's Katie's favorite." James glances at Logan, then takes pity on him. "Here, I'll do it." He grabs the glass ball with Dak Zevon's smiling face on it. "Now where did you want it?" James stretches his arm up, near the treetop.

"No, left. Not that far...back this way...no...too far...James! Listen to my words!"

James shakes his head, caught between amusement and exasperation. "Why don't I lift you up and you can do it yourself?"

"Oh yeah, like I want Carlos to walk in to that vision. I'd never hear the end of it. What's taking them so long anyway?" Logan looks at his watch. "How long does it take to buy a string of lights?"

"Depends on how crowded the store is. And if they can find a set of lights that matches these. And how long it takes Kendall to drag Carlos away from the toys. He's worse than Katie," James adds fondly.

"At least Kendall has Mama K and Katie for backup. So let's try again. Midway between the red and gold ones...a little higher..." Logan steps up behind James, wrapping an arm protectively around his waist to steady him. "Don't fall..."

"I won't, I got it!" But James is squirming suddenly and Logan hears a pop followed by "Crap! OW!" Shards of metallic glass rain down the tree.

Logan steps back in a hurry. "What's wrong? What happened?" James is shaking his right hand up and down. "You broke it? Katie's gonna kill you!"

"Yeah, I'm fine, thanks." James looks at his hand and his eyes grow round. "I'm bleeding! Logan, I'm bleeding!"

"Oh, here we go, big tough hockey guy is still afraid of blood. Quit freaking out and suck on it already!" Logan moves to get the first aid kit, but stops because James is still frozen. "James?"

"I can't, it's blood! Gross!"

"Oh, for the love of...give me that." Logan snatches James by the wrist and shoves the bleeding index finger into his mouth, sucking lightly. "No big deal," he mumbles around the digit, about to add more when he catches the expression on James' face.

His normally golden-gray eyes have darkened to a deep amber and they're no longer round, but almost hooded as they burn into Logan's face. There's a sudden intake of air that Logan would have missed if he wasn't so focused on James' lips, which are parted and pink and...oh my God, it's not my imagination.

For a few months now Logan has been noticing things about James-looks that seem to smolder when no one else is watching, touches that seem to linger a bit too long, moments when James somehow manages to sit really close. Just when Logan thinks maybe there's something to it, James returns to his usual silly self and Logan decides he was mistaken. It began around the time James helped him ask Camille to the dance. The snark slackened, at least when he was alone with James, and in its place a more gentle, affectionate nature developed until Logan began to think maybe he and James were finally friends. Not just part of the same group or same team or even the same band, but part of a friendship that could stand on its own.

James has always intimidated him somewhat. Logan would never admit that in a million years, not even to Kendall, but James is everything Logan can never be—a gorgeous, popular, confident girl-magnet, amazing in so many ways. He never thought they would have anything in common besides their friends, but the past few months have shown him that there is a side to James he didn't know existed, and it's a side Logan has come to appreciate and welcome on the rare occasions it makes itself known. Logan's wondered if the affection could be called flirting, but dismissed the idea because James flirting with him? Would never happen. Even if James was into guys, which Logan doubts, he certainly wouldn't be attracted to Logan.

Or so Logan convinced himself, because to think otherwise was the way to madness. Now James is staring at him in a way that leaves no room for debate—James is getting hot. For me. Sucking on his finger.

But what if he's imagining it? What if Logan says something or does something and James laughs it off or even worse, turns it into a "Gotcha!" moment? Logan can't deal with that, he just can't. Maybe if I...

Logan returns the heated gaze and swirls his tongue around the fingertip before sliding his lips down to the base. James' eyes fall closed and he groans, actually groans, and that's answer enough for Logan, but then James adds to it.

"Logan, fuuuuuck."

Oh Jesus oh Jesus oh Jesus. Logan's jeans seem to shrink in a matter of seconds.

There's the sound of jingle bells in the hallway, followed by what can only be Kendall. "HO HO HO!"

Logan jumps back as if struck by lightning, James' hand falling away, and the disappointment on James' face matches what Logan feels in his heart. The mask slips down over James' features again just as the front door opens.

"Have you been good little boys?" Kendall steps into the apartment wearing a Santa hat.

"Them? Never." Carlos appears behind him in a green pointed hat.

"Hey, Carlos, where are your elf ears?" James grins and Logan could almost convince himself that the last two minutes never happened.

"Ha ha, James. I have them right here, they're for you." Carlos throws a package across the room, which James catches deftly. Logan spies elf ears along with the green hat.

"Ugh, I thought we'd never get home. But we got the lights, so if you boys can finish up the top, we can start on the bottom." Mrs. Knight drops a plastic bag on the couch. "I need a bath. Katie, no more candy canes. Put the box away."

"Man!" Katie huffs into the kitchen, sneaking a few canes out of the box.

Logan tries to follow the action, but he keeps hearing that groan over and over in his head.

"Hey."

He manages to look up at Kendall.

"Got you something, too."

He barely catches the tiny package and feels his cheeks go red when he realizes he's holding mistletoe.

"For Camille. Not that you need it with her." Kendall obviously finds her obsession with him hilarious.

"I told you, we're not like that. We're friends now." Logan absently pockets the mistletoe, watching Katie return to the livingroom.

"Not because she wants it that way," Carlos scoffs from his position near the tree, where he and James have started hanging ornaments again.

Logan studies James' hand. "You really should get a Band-Aid on that, James. It might start bleeding again."

James just shrugs without meeting his eyes. "It's fine. Not even bleeding at all."

"Aww, what happened? Did Jamie get a boo-boo?" Carlos grabs James' hand and looks at it. "Here, crybaby." He kisses the small cut. "All better?"

"Loads. Without you, my world crumbles. Now can we finish this up? 'Project Runway' starts in half an hour."

Something hot and bitter curls in Logan's belly and it's a few seconds before he recognizes it as jealousy. Needing a moment to clear his head, Logan heads for the kitchen. Kendall follows. Of course.

"Hey, I was joking about Camille. You know I like to mess with you."

"I know. It's fine." Why is he so restless? "Want some hot chocolate?"

"Sure. I got you a hat, too. So we can match." Kendall grins, and finally Logan feels his heart returning to normal.

"So James and Carlos are elves, and we're Santa Claus?" Logan busies himself getting mugs and opening packets of powdered chocolate.

"No. You're Mrs. Claus." When Logan shoots him a scandalized glare, Kendall laughs. "Kidding. I got you a Santa hat. You okay?"

"Fine. One packet or two?"

"I'm thinking two. Feeling adventurous tonight." Kendall leans against the counter, arms crossed and trying to look sexy, but the bright red hat kills it.

Logan giggles. "I'd warn Jo, but I can't take you seriously in that hat."

"No? I can do some major damage in this hat."

"Oh, like what? Sit me on your lap and ask if I'm a good boy?"

"No, like...THIS!" Kendall reaches out and attacks Logan's sides with long fingers, making Logan gasp and clutch his stomach.

"Stop it!" He hates that he sounds like a girl when he squeals, but Kendall always wins tickle fights and Logan doesn't stand a chance.

"Taking me seriously now, Logie? Huh?"

"STOP!" Logan tries to catch his breath and doubles over, shoving Kendall away. He's still giggling when he stands up and catches James watching them with an odd look on his face. It's almost like when Carlos watches the Jennifers walk by. Logan's laugh dies abruptly, but before he can say anything or even think of something to say, James has turned away and is listening to Carlos talk about the weird lady who rang them up at the store.

Not my imagination. No fucking way.

"HEY! What happened to Dak?"

"Uh oh." Logan takes one look at Katie and runs for cover.

XOXOXOX

It takes Logan much longer than usual to fall asleep that night. Normally he's able to do multiplication tables in his head until sleep claims him, but tonight his mind is crowded with James. The way his lips looked as they parted, with just a hint of pink tongue under a flash of white teeth. The sound of him gasping softly when their eyes met. The groan, followed by the way James drew out "fuck" like he was...well, being fucked.

What does it all mean?

It means I'm thinking about James in a way I shouldn't be. This is James. JAMES. He throws a hissy fit when someone touches his hair, for God's sake. What in the world am I thinking?

But Logan can't deny that he's been thinking it for some time now. James started it with his glances and touches and that laugh, and when did his laugh become so sexy? Probably when it stopped being aimed at Logan. When was the last time James made fun of him anyway?

But what does it mean? James can't possibly be thinking of me the same way. I'm not even good-looking. I'm a nerd. I'm everything he strives not to be.

Logan turns over in bed with a huge sigh.

"Want to talk about it?"

Kendall. "What?"

"You're tossing and turning. Want to talk about whatever's bothering you?"

"No."

"Come on, Logan. You've been antsy all night. You know you'll feel better if you just let it out."

Logan turns over onto his other side, facing Kendall across the room. "I'm just working through some stuff. When I'm ready to talk about it, I will."

"Okay." Kendall rolls over onto his back in a long stretch. "I'm here if you need me. You can tell me anything. I'll keep it between us."

"I know. Thanks."

Would Kendall understand this? Even want to know about it? For the first time, Logan feels a gulf between himself and everyone else, like he's on an island without a raft.

What does it all mean?