Better Together.
There is no combination of words,
I could put on the back of a postcard.
No song I could sing, but I can try for your heart.
Ohtori Kyouya and Hitachiin Kaoru have both experienced the pain of living.
They both know what it is to be alone. They both know how that nagging, painful, consuming, persistent feeling feels. They both know such a feeling cannot be caught into words. It's simply impossible. It's too much of anything to be simply put into words.
They also know the same goes for love.
Especially Kyouya has been getting quite familiar with that feeling of being tongue-tied, slack-jawed, speechless and everything else an Ohtori should never be. Somehow, Kaoru didn't seem to have so much trouble to look at him, smile and whisper: "I love you."
But for Kyouya… Somehow that just didn't work. He's trying though, trying every time and he's sure that one day, someday, he's going to walk up to Kaoru, look him into the eye and whisper: "I love you too."
Our dreams, and they are made of real things,
Like a shoebox of photographs,
With sepia-toned loving.
Ohtori Kyouya and Hitachiin Kaoru have both been lied to enough.
They both know half of the things people say are only the things they want to know. They both know a lot of things in this life are simply fake, make believe, illusions and disillusions, pretended and acted.
Kyouya knows because he lies himself, fakes, pretends, makes believe, is full of illusions and disillusions and acts like no one else could.
Kaoru knows, because he recognize what's real and what's fake with an scary accuracy and looks right through it, ignores what you want him to believes, and believes what he shouldn't believe, because it's too damn right.
So, Kyouya has stopped acting in front of Kaoru. He isn't the kind of person to do useless and needless things.
So, Kaoru knows that he shouldn't care about the lies told to every else but him, because he knows –he always knows- that the dreams they both have –of living together, travelling the world together, being together, holding hands and reaching the stars- are more than just make believe.
They're real, more than any truth ever could be.
Love is the answer,
For at least most of the questions in my heart.
Like, why are we here? And where do we go?
And how come it's so hard?
Ohtori Kyouya and Hitachiin Kaoru have both wondered about this world far too much.
They ask themselves why, how, where, when? They ask themselves how they could ever let this happen, why they didn't fight against that feeling in their chest. They ask themselves why they couldn't just be happy without needing to tell everyone lies, without hiding and thinking every second of the day what excuse they should use next time.
Every night when he's alone, Kyouya wonders why he's going through with this. If his father ever finds out… He just forces himself not to think about that.
Kaoru wonders how it ever came so far he was lying to his own twin without even hesitating. Is this all that wrong?
But even if it kills them, they'll still continue.
Because no matter how much that insecurity might hurt, it doesn't hurt as much as not being together.
It's not always easy, and life can be deceiving,
But I'll tell you one thing:
It's killing yourself or being killed, it's lying to be together or lying to yourself, it's hurting others or hurting yourself. It's love and it's hate. It's painful and it's wonderful.
They've been hurt because of it so many times, but that all doesn't really matter because:
It's always better when we're together.
Ohtori Kyouya and Hitachiin Kaoru only want to be together.
Together, they can fight the pain and forget the burning questions. Together, they can conquer the world and rule their own lives. Together, they are complete.
It's always better when we're together,
We'll look at the stars when we're together,
Yes, it's always better when we're together.
The pain, heartache, failed friendships, lies and deceiving, in a sad way it is all worth it. Because from the moment they are alone and Kaoru finds himself lying in strong arms, holding him so tight he thinks he'll never move again, neither does he want to, he forgets that he lied to Hikaru again, that he deceived his mom, that he can't be honest with anyone in the world.
Because when Kyouya's lips are pressed against Kaoru's, he doesn't care if this is going to ruin his life. He doesn't care and he isn't scared of the 'what-if's' and the lonely, grey future that is meant for them. He isn't afraid of what might come and he never cared about lying anyway.
When they're together everything is alright. Then the world stops being cruel and they make a new one. Their world. The world only they can see and everything is beautiful.
As long as they're together, they can take on the world.
And all these moments,
just might find their way into my dreams tonight
But I know that they'll be gone,
When the morning light sings
Ohtori Kyouya and Hitachiin Kaoru live for the nights and despite the dawn.
His dreams are all that Kaoru has. Dreams of being happy, of smiling, of being together, of holding hands, of strength, love, and nothing bad will ever come into his dreams. He goes to sleep early and he wants to wake up as late as possible, just so he could hold onto his dreams a little longer.
But dreams shatter, just as soon as the sun stares over the edge of the world again.
Kyouya doesn't want to lose his dreams. He never had a dream, never had one come true, and now it came true, he still doesn't know if he's dreaming or having his worst nightmare. He's happy when he's near Kaoru, so happy he knows in the back of his mind that this is all a mistake because a failure like him doesn't deserve this kind of happiness.
So he sleeps and dreams and wakes up and lives his nightmare.
And brings new things,
But tomorrow night you'll see,
That they'll be gone too.
Nothing lasts forever. They live for each day and each day alone. There is no future and there is no past. There is no 'later' and no 'before'. There is no 'after' and no 'when I'm gone'. They only live when they're together, and when they are not things just aren't real.
Every night that awful feeling in their chest isn't real. Because someday, one day, this will be over and everyone will know.
One day, they're going to be happy, just like that.
Too many things I have to do,
But if all of these dreams might find their way into my day-to-day scene,
I'll be under the impression,
I was somewhere in between.
Ohtori Kyouya and Hitachiin Kaoru are more than make believe.
Slowly, slowly but steadily, the pain fades and the funny, silly, warm feeling remains. Love remains, always did and always will. Even though time is what they don't have and what they want the most, they'll make it somehow. They'll make it towards the stars and they'll dance on the sun.
They will, just not now.
They make themselves believe this is more than make believe and they live in one big disillusion.
But it doesn't matter, because it's the only thing they have and the smiles on their faces are real.
With only two,
Just me and you,
Not so many things we have to do,
Or places we got to be.
Ohtori Kyouya and Hitachiin Kaoru have created their own world.
When they're together the gates close and the sadness, lies and pain of the 'real' world is forgotten, kindly, politely ignored and laughed at. When they're together, the world is theirs and they can rule it, break it, bend it, make it, destroy it, love it, hate it. This is their world and no one can enter.
And inside this world they are no obligations, no duties and no expectations. Inside this world there is nothing but love, and love is never wrong.
There is nothing and no one else needed. That's the truth and the truth will remain.
It's always better when we're together,
We're somewhere in-between together,
It's always better when we're together.
This world cannot break them down, because they are together and together they will stay. They cannot give up, because there will always be the other to catch them. No matter where they are, how they are, when they are, why they are, they love each other.
And somehow, that seems to be enough to hold on.
I believe in memories,
They look so, so pretty when I sleep,
And when, when I wake up,
You look so pretty sleeping next to me.
The sunshine peaks through the windows of a cheap motel and the cars on the streets make snoring noises. He blinks, but doesn't move too much.
All he does is turn around and stare at the dark haired boy, still sleeping. He doesn't wake him, but just looks and carves every single detail in his memory. He's not afraid of the future, because he won't forget.
He won't forget this moment, this feeling in his chest and the warmth. He won't forget all those times they laughed, kissed, talked, ran, hid from the world.
He won't forget how much he loves that sleeping boy.
And when he slowly opens a dark eye and a sleepy smile comes upon his face, he brushes through the dark hair and whispers.
"I love you, Kyouya."
There is no combination of words,
I could put on the back of a post card.
And there's no song, no song I could sing.
But I'll still tell you one thing:
And this world can't hurt them any longer, when whispers back: "I know, Kaoru."
It's always better when we're together.
Because they are together now, and they know that no matter what will happen they will somehow end up together.
And to them, that's all that really matters.
(-X-...-X-)
No idea how in the world I make that song sound so angsty. It's such a happy song! It's the song: Better Together by Jack Johnson.
This was done for the Song Lyric Challenged, issues by LizzaKysn. This is also done to support the KyouKao fanclub on S.H.I.N.E, named Of Glasses and Syrup. Be kind and join. Now! XD You'll love it, garantueed.
Somehow, this reminds me of my story Loneliness. Don't know why though. XD Oh well. Hope you enjoyed!
Please review! XD
- Jazy