Truth

Disclaimer: I don't own the Gundam Wing Characters so please don't sue me for borrowing them . . .

Truth. It's such an overrated word. Humans could never trust truth because they could never believe in honesty. And where does the truth lie then with honesty as its mate? No, truth and honesty are highly overrated. The truth is nothing more then words shrouded in deceit, the only thing that is believable in this life is that the Truth is never what you expect it to be.

Warm water cascaded down his naked form as he stood beneath the stream with his hands pressing against the cool tiled walls of the shower stall. His long chestnut brown hair clung to his buttocks as he stared down at the flow of blood and water disappearing down the drain. Pulses of pain rocked through his body with even the slightest movement, making the simple act of standing seem painful. Slowly, he took a deep breath as he watched the blood disappear wishing that the pain would go with it. It was a constant pain like nothing he'd ever experienced before not even during the war.

Duo sighed, giving a vicious twist of the valve to shut off the flow of water, almost instantly the cold air rushed in around him causing gooseflesh to rise from the nearly flawless white skin. Pushing himself upright, Duo pushed back the shower curtain and stepped out of the bath grimacing in pain. He reached up to grab one of the towels from the rack and rubbed himself dry, paying particular attention to his legs. Did it have to hurt so much? Duo shoved the depressing thought out of his head, tossing the now bloody towel into the hamper. He pulled down a second one and wrapped it around his waist, taking a third towel he put it over his still dripping hair and stepped out of the bathroom.

The tacky green wallpaper decorating his current hotel room was less then pleasant to say the least, but he could deal with it for the time being, after all he'd been in worse rooms then this one over the past two years. Duo sighed as he moved towards the single foldout bed resting in the middle of the room, he glanced at his clothes folded neatly in the only chair the room had and shook his head. Dark red blood stained the front of his clothes, he would have to throw them away and get new ones but that was another problem he'd prefer not to address right about now. Pain pulsed through him, reminding him of his current, pressing issue. His ruined clothes were just one thing he had to deal with right about now. Duo reached for the plastic bag he had thrown onto the bed and dumped the contents out, shuffling through the aftershave, the razors, and the bottles of water to get the box of pills hidden beneath it all. The store attendant had given him a funny look when he'd seen this among Duo's groceries but the look on Duo's face told the man it would be smarter not to ask.

He ripped open the box, popped out one of the pills, tossed it into his mouth and swallowed without a second thought. Duo shut his eyes and prayed to whatever God would listen for the pain to go away. Shoving everything off the bed he threw himself into the soft sheets, curling up around the source of his pain as tears rolled down his face. Loneliness closed in around him, encompassing him in its all too familiar grip. Two years ago he would have laughed this all away, clapped his hands around the shoulders of his comrades and pretended it never existed. It had all been so much easier during the war, with so many reasons for him not to be sad or lonely. With so much to worry about and do that he could ignore the problems of his past.

It's not like that now . . . . No, now he had to deal with this loneliness all on his own without anyone to help carry him through it. It was the path he'd chosen after the war, the only option left open to him after years of running and hiding. What his comrades knew and what he knew had simply come between them, he'd pushed them away and not once has he looked back to see if they were still there. It wouldn't matter . . . not to him or to them, what he'd done was unforgivable but it was better then the truth. His whole life was one great big lie, and yet he had lived with the knowledge that he would never willingly tell a lie to anyone.

It's all about the questions. It was simple to dodge a question, twist the truth to suit your needs . . . but all that eventually caught up with you, just like it caught up to him. In the end . . . there was no such thing as truth. Trust was just another word that one could bend to his or her own will depending on how you did it, for a year he'd lived a lie . . . praying on the trust of those closest to him. Now . . . well now everything was different. After all that running he'd done to get away from the past, it had all finally caught up with him. Where's a war when you need one?

Colony L-2

"No, I'm sorry he hasn't come into work yet can I take a -."

The sound of the dial tone coming from the phone made Hilde sigh in frustration as she slammed the phone down on the receiver. She leaned foreword placing her hands flat against the desk as she glared at the phone as if daring it to ring one more time so she could release all this anger. One whole week, that dumb ass hasn't showed up in one week and already the business is beginning to go haywire! She sighed running her fingers through her short-cropped hair as if she could easily settle the frustration building up inside her. Normally, Duo didn't show up for one week out of the month, and during that week everything usually manages to go to the dogs in a short amount of time.

She couldn't remember the last time Duo had even called to check if things were going okay or not. For a man who'd dedicated his life to ending the war to bring the smiles back to the people of the colony, he sure had a knack for leaving angry frowns in his wake. After the war had ended, it seemed as if the former pilot had just . . . pushed everything away. She could still remember the words he'd said to her right before he'd walked out of her life. "What's the point of having a whining sniveling chick like you at my side? I've done just fine on my own before you and I'll do even better on my own without you." The words had stung, deeply but not as badly as what he had said to the others.

It was as if Duo had become a whole new person, he wasn't the caring, smiling, joking Duo they'd all come to know and expect. When he'd spoken those words he'd really and truly meant every one of them and that was what had hurt the most. The sickly way he had smiled at all of them before telling them that in no uncertain terms was he lying about what he'd just told them. "Why should I care to lie to you anymore? I figured since the wars over and everything, I don't have to put up with you bastards anymore. I'd like to say it was nice knowing all of you but . . . ." No, those words had hurt so much more then any of them had let on; even Heero had flinched from what Duo had said. Yet despite everything he had said Hilde still showed up at the shop to do the job she'd been hired to do.

The next day she'd showed up like she did everyday with a determined look on her face, she had meant to ask him what he was doing but the words had frozen in her throat when she saw him sitting on top of a pile of scrap metal staring out at the colony with a strange look in his eyes. He looked so lonely, and lost that it hurt even more then his words. He'd look down at her with a blank look on his face a moment later.

"What are you doing here?" Duo asked calmly. Getting to his feet he brushed the dirt from his pants and leapt off the pile to land at her feet with feline grace. Hilde took a step back, her hands coming up to her chest as she looked at him searching for any sign that he regretted the words he'd said to her last night but his eyes remained cold. The warmth she had seen a moment ago gone, perhaps forever.

"I still work here you know." Hilde replied shakily.

"Really? I guess I forgot to fire you then." Duo replied shrugging his shoulders as he moved past her, shoving his hands into his pockets. The icy chill in his eyes made her shiver as she stood there listening to the sound of his retreating footsteps.

Hilde remembered the look in his eyes, the contrasting pain that had appeared in that one unguarded moment before Duo had walked away from her. The phone rang suddenly as she picked it up with an angry huff.

"HE'S NOT HERE DAMN IT SO STOP CALLING!" She shouted as her frustration overflowed.

"Hilde?" The sound of Duo's voice on the other end of the line made her slapped a hand to her mouth in embarrassment.

"Duo? Where in the hell are you?! Do you know what I've been going through this past week and a half?!" Hilde replied angrily.

"Yeah, sorry bout that but something came up. Do you mind holding out for another few days or so?"

Hilde sighed rubbing her forehead and the headache that was already starting to form between her eyes. "No, I can't possibly do this for that long without you here to sign -."

"Yeah, okay thanks a bunch Hilde. I'll see you next week kay?"

"Wait Duo-!" The dial tone beeping from the other line made sigh; clinching her fist around the phone handle she slowly placed it back down on the receiver. "You bastard . . . what the hell could you be doing that's so god damned important?"

Raindrops fell against the windowpanes of his twelve o'clock Psychology class, his chin resting in the palm of his hand as he stared out the window at the dreary afternoon sky. I'm bored. He stared at the head of the class where the teacher continued to speak in a monotone voice. I'm really bored. He sighed turning his head to stare out the window, the heavy rain pounded against the glass the way it had for the past two weeks. Earth's climate really is unpredictable, but I suppose it's much more interesting to stay here then in the colonies. His eyes traveled down to gaze at the courtyard, centering on a dark figure standing in the middle of the circular meeting place.

"Mister Yuy, is there a problem?" The sound of his teacher's voice cut through him like a knife.

Heero blinked staring down at the teacher realizing for the first time that he standing, the sound of his chair sliding backwards had woken the entire class from the mundane sound of the teachers' voice. Sighing inwardly, Heero shook his head shoving his hands into his pockets, his gaze traveling towards the window and the courtyard below.

"I just don't care for things like this." He whispered moving towards the exit behind him.

"Mister Yuy, if you leave I will have to mark you absent." The threat went unheeded as Heero shut the door behind him.

What am I doing? The odd thought passed through his mind as he made his way through the halls and down the stairs until he came to the exit. He stood in the doorway staring out at the pouring rain and the dark figure standing in the middle of the courtyard. What are you doing here? Heero stepped out into the downpour, his dark brown hair plastered to his face as the raindrops pelted him. How long? He moved closer until he was standing in front of the other person. How long has it been since the last time I saw you?

"Duo . . . ." The name whispered past his lips as he stared into the deep cobalt blue eyes of his former friend and comrade.

Why am I here? The thought had occurred to him on his way from the spaceport all the way out here but he still did not know the reason for it all. Although he had to admit, Heero's apartment looked a hell of a lot better then the places he'd been staying in. The kitchen tiles matched everything else, and the plan white walls were much better then the tacky green he'd been seeing lately.

"Here." The sound of Heero's voice brought him out of his silent contemplation; Duo looked up to see the former pilot holding out a towel for him. "You're leaking all over the floor and my roommate won't like that." Duo shrugged taking the towel from Heero to dry off his hair.

"You have a roommate?" Duo questioned watching the slender pilot move away from him. He had always seen Heero as the . . . well loner type. Then again who was he to judge? After all, his life was nothing more then a fabricated lie designed to ensure that he would be remembered.
Besides Duo wasn't even his real name.

"He keeps to himself mostly, helps with the rent so that I don't have to work double shifts at the restaurant. He should be home around one or so." Heero answered calmly looking over at the clock with a slight frown on his face. It was only twelve thirty in the afternoon; he had a half hour to figure out why the hell he'd come to Heero in the first place.

"Something bothering you? I thought you wanted to 'cut all ties' to the rest of us. Wasn't that why you staged such an elaborate dismissal?" Heero's words cut through him like a knife.

"I guess I shouldn't have come then." His voice sounded so cold and alien even to him. The words left a bitter feeling in the pit of his stomach. Placing the towel on the kitchen counter, Duo tried to move past Heero but the other boy was much quicker then he was and much stronger too. Heero's hand held his wrists down as he forced Duo back against the counter, his lips coming up to brush against the long haired boys own. Duo had enough time to see the look in Heero's eyes before their lips connected, before he was lost in a sea of mixed emotions and a memory that he had tried so hard to forget.

Two and a half years ago

The room was dark but he didn't need the light to see where he was going, Heero sighed as he shut the door behind him and tossed his bag to the floor. He had finally finished working on his Gundam, repairing the damage to the wing on his own hadn't been easy and he was tired after all that work all he wanted to do now was sleep. He moved towards the bed but stopped halfway there when he spotted something strange, something out of place. Reaching back, he flicked the light switch on and nearly fell backwards in shock. Lying on curled up on his bed was Duo, wearing a dark red dress with his unbraided hair spread out behind him, his face buried in one of Heero's pillows. What was he doing in a dress? The thought crossed his mind but he pushed it aside not wanting to know the answer.

Heero opened his mouth to ask what Duo was doing in his room but stopped short when he noticed the blood caked on the other pilot's exposed legs. Concern clouded his sleep-deprived mind as he moved closer to inspect the wound. If this idiot had managed to get himself badly hurt, Heero swore he would kill him. Heero reached out touching Duo's leg gently, but that seemed to be all Duo needed to completely freak out. Duo's legs kicked out after Heero's hands as he dodged to the side to avoid a fist aimed for his chin and another aimed for his gut. Reflex had him grabbing both of Duo's hands, forcing them down on the bed but that only made Duo thrash all the harder so Heero resorted to sitting on him.

"Duo damn it stop moving!" Heero grunted as Duo's body jerked beneath him. If he keeps this up. Heero bit down on his lip drawing blood as he forced Duo's hands down with one of his own and struggled to get a hold of something, anything to bind them down. The only thing he could reach was the wire for the bedside lamp but that would do. He jerked the plug out of its socket and frantically wrapped it around Duo's wrists to prevent any more attempts at hitting the other pilot might have in mind. He secured the line to the headboard and pressed down on Duo's belly to keep him from thrashing. The other pilot groaned as if Heero had hit him hard and stopped thrashing in an attempt to curl inwards. Heero slid off Duo to the side where he watched the other pilot curl in around his stomach, a pained look on his pale face.

Cobalt blue eyes slid open, going wide as if Duo just realized that Heero was there, frantic he tried to move away but the wire wrapped around his wrists prevented him from going far. Even then he did not seem to realize that his wrists were tied. So frantic was he in getting away from Heero that the wire started to cut into his skin leaving a bright red mark. Duo tugged at the restraint without even realizing that he was being restrained. Heero reached over, grabbing hold of Duo's wrists in order to prevent him from hurting himself further. At his touch Duo went completely still, his eyes clamped shut, his entire body trembling beneath Heero's hands.

"Duo?" Heero looked down at the trembling pilot with mixed feelings, he didn't know what to do or if he should do anything at all. His eyes drifted towards the caked blood and decided to take advantage of the other pilot's momentary calm to check the wound. As his free hand glided down Duo's side towards his legs he couldn't help but notice how slender the other pilot's hips were. Was it even possible for men to have such slender hips? Heero pushed the strange thought out of his mind and looked towards the caked on blood.

As he slid his fingers over Duo's leg he kept a close eye on the other pilot but Duo had buried his face in a pillow and didn't seem to be paying attention to what Heero was doing. At least he's not fighting. Heero reasoned taking in the oddness of Duo's reactions in serious stride. If he's in this much pain then the wound might be serious. His fingers glided over smooth skin marred only by the slick feeling of blood, but try as he might Heero found no wound. What the hell? Could Duo be hurt further up on his leg? Heero recalled the way Duo had curled up around his belly at a simple touch and started to push the dress upwards to see if the wound was closer to his belly.

That set the other pilot off, Duo started thrashing all over again only this time he started to scream. But his movements only managed to lift the dress up higher as Heero's hand slid upwards from the sudden thrashing, finding himself eye to eye with the other pilot. Duo went completely still, the dress had hiked up far enough for Heero to look down and see . . . nothing. Blood stained a pair of dark black panties but there was no wound so far as Heero could see. What in the hell?! The sound of a fist pounding against his door made Heero jerk in surprise. He pulled the sheets up to cover Duo's body just as the door swung open and the other three pilots stepped inside.

"What do you want?" Heero asked tiredly staring at Quatre, the leader of the unwanted intrusion.

"We heard screaming and . . . ." Quatre blushed, his words coming out in disjointed syllables.

"I'm fine, get out." Heero replied calmly. Quatre opened his mouth to protest, but Trowa stopped him taking him by the arm and leading him back out. Wufei's eyes slid towards the obvious bulge on Heero's bed but he didn't say a word as he walked out after the other two, shutting the door behind him. Heero waited a moment until he could no longer hear the sound of their footsteps before pulling the sheets back down to see Duo's face.

Tears stained the other pilots face as he tried to bury in deep in the pillow, Heero sighed as he reached up and untied the cords binding Duo's wrists. He slid off the bed and started moving towards the bathroom without saying a word. When he returned Duo was sitting up rubbing at his sore wrists, his face hidden beneath the long tresses of loose dark brown hair. Heero handed Duo the wet rag he had gotten from the bathroom and moved to take the sheets off the bed. He didn't say a word as Duo disappeared into the bathroom, nor did he speak when Duo back out with a towel wrapped around him. Heero finished fixing the sheets, tossing the now bloodstained ones into the hamper as Duo came up beside him.

"I don't care." Heero replied calmly when Duo opened his mouth to speak. Duo fiddled with the towel as if unsure about Heero's words. "If you don't believe me then you don't believe me. How about we make a deal? I won't tell if you give me a kiss." Duo jerked as if he'd been hit, his entire body freezing at the words. Heero sighed turning away from the other pilot as he started to climb into bed. Heero blinked in surprise as Duo grabbed hold of his wrist and turned him around. It took him a moment to see the resolution in Duo's eyes as the other pilot's lips closed over his.

Heero froze for the split second it took him to realize what was going on, then his arms wrapped themselves around Duo's waist pulling the other pilot closer to him. His body felt like it was on fire as he reached up and pulled Duo's head back deepening the kiss. Duo moaned against the onslaught, his hands clutching to the front of Heero's shirt. It wasn't enough, it wasn't nearly enough. Heero pressed his lips hard against Duo's, he could feel the heat beginning to burn him from the inside. If he didn't do something soon he was going to burst.

Heero gasped shoving the other pilot roughly away, fighting the strange desire to pull Duo in close when he noticed the heat reflected in Duo's eyes. He knew that the other pilot had felt it as well, the burning sensation that threatened to engulf the two of them whole. Duo reached for him with one hand and Heero knocked it away, his expression going cold all of a sudden.

"Get out." Heero huffed, wiping the back of his hand across his lips. Duo flinched as if he'd been hit, looked once more at Heero before running out of the room his long hair flowing behind him like a dark brown mist. Never again Heero resolved, never again would he do such a thing.

Heero forced Duo back against the counter, his blood boiling with that same heat from so long ago. He grabbed Duo's wrists in one hand forcing them high above the other boys head as he pressed foreword deepening the kiss as his body slowly burned. His free hand pulled Duo's lower half closer to him, Duo moan beneath the kiss pushing foreword of his own accord. The heat was slowly engulfing the two of them and neither wanted it to stop. Heero broke off the kiss, staring into the heat filled cobalt blue, it wasn't enough.

The front door opened suddenly, breaking the heated passion of the two boys as a voice called out Heero's name. Duo's eyes widened at the familiar voice pulling his wrists from Heero's grip just as Relena stepped into the kitchen a wet grocery bag cradled in her arms. She stared wide eyed at Duo, her mouth falling open slightly in disbelief.

"What are you doing here?" Relena asked calmly. Of all the people Duo expected to see, Relena was not one of them and she was certainly the last person Duo ever wanted to see.

"Leaving." Duo replied curtly stepping past Heero and out the back door. Cursing under his breath for ever coming, Duo was glad for the rain . . . it covered the tears that were slowly running down the side of his face.

Stupid idiot . . . what did you expect?! It hurt so damned much . . . all he wanted to do was run as far and as fast as he could without ever looking back. Run from the truth, but most of all, run from the feelings that the truth exposed. I'm such an idiot.