My arm had fallen asleep. I gently moved it out from underneath Jess's head and sat up, massaging it.
In her sleep, Jess whimpered quietly. I kissed her nose and she smiled and turned over onto her side, still unconscious.
As I headed into the bathroom, I glanced at the clock: 2:26. Just two hours and four minutes until I had to drive her home and tuck her safely in her bed, while her unsuspecting parents slept soundly. We had gotten very good at this little ritual.
Sounds like love, huh?
But, to tell you the truth, I don't know if it was. I mean, maybe it was puppy love. No meaning behind it. We could break it off tomorrow and cry and then go on living our lives. Or maybe it was just lust. That wouldn't be surprising at all considering what we had done just hours earlier.
The truth is, every time I think about telling Jess I love her, my dad pops into my mind.. He said he loved my mom and I, but then he left. Just like that. No goodbyes, no note.
Just…gone.
I don't want to be him. Say I love Jess and then leave her.
But most of all, I don't want Jess to be like my mom. The man of her dreams left and she is stuck to pay pills and take care of a kid while trying to keep from dying on the inside.
I crawled back into bed with her. She turned back over so she was facing me. Her eyelids fluttered and she whispered "Hey you."
"Hi"
"What time is it?"
"Two thirty"
"Good." She kissed me on the mouth and put her hands where a proper girl wouldn't even dream of.
But, then, Jessica Mastriani wasn't a normal girl, now was she?
We did more than just kiss before Jess had to go home, if you know what I mean.
But if I knew this would be our last night together, I think I would have just held her.