Blink and I'll Name The World
Fandom: Katekyo Hitman Reborn.
Summary: ''It's three a.m. and that's no time for phone calls. Gokudera Hayato flashes across the screen.
He picks up.'' There are some things there should always be time for, and one of them is definitely a distraught best friend.
Disclaimer: I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn.
Dedicated to all those who know the most meaningful relationships don't have to be romantic.
It's three a.m. and that's no time for phone calls.
Tsuna flinches away from the bright light- blinded for a moment by the screen illuminating the dark room. There's no smoke in the air, but it feels like there should be, thick, dreamy and choking as the deep sleep that held him captive before. He can feel the remnants of it dragging him down like the dregs in a coffee cup.
His bed is warm, the room is not, and his phone is ringing obnoxiously.
Gokudera Hayato flashes across the screen.
He picks up.
…
There are sobs on the other end of the line.
He's too stumped to say anything for a few seconds.
There is a gasping inhale, ragged breathing in his ear and his hands curl in the bedsheets.
''…Gokudera-kun?''
''Juudaime,'' Like the crack of thunder came down on his voice, it breaks.
Is Tsuna supposed to say something? He wants to reach out- a hand on a shoulder, maybe even a hug if his friend would allow it. He's touchy about touch (and that's not a funny pun. It's a sad one). But he's on the phone, someone crying at the other end of the line, three a.m. in the morning when all should be asleep. Not even the birds are up yet.
Tsuna has no idea what to do. He scrambles for words, wracking his mind. There should be something to-
''I went to see my father today.''
Oh.
Tsuna's limbs go lax. ''That must've been hard.''
''I've seen him a few times the last weeks.''
Huh? And- Gokudera hadn't told him?! Opening his mouth, Tsuna- shut it again. Not the time and place, and definitely not what Gokudera needed. Not now, perhaps not ever.
Sometimes, you have to let people talk, his mother said once. Sure, it was followed by a wicked smile and a: ''It's the best way to manipulate them into telling you the whole story,'' but that was their secret and not to be talked about.
Another shaky exhale.
Tsuna leans back into his pillow, dragging the blankets up higher. Gokudera's voice sounds so loud in the dark, like he's right beside him, yet a thousand miles away.
He's never thought about how intimate it feels, a phone call.
Or maybe it's just the ones at three a.m. You don't pick those up for just anyone.
''I thought I could tell him.''
Tsuna jerks. Okay, sudden opening.
''I don't know why. In hindsight, it was stupid. I mean, why him of all people? It's all precarious enough. But I told him, and-'' A shuddering breath.
The sound has almost become hypnotizing. ''Told him what?''
A sharp intake and Tsuna's stomach sinks. That was a mistake. He shouldn't have said anything, shouldn't have pressured. He doesn't know how Gokudera would react, but-
''If you must know,'' Gokudera hisses, like a cat in a tree so scared of the fall he'd rather die of starvation, ''I'm an asexual aromantic. Happy now?''
''Oh.''
''Oh? What ''oh''?! Gonna tell me how it's all going to come in a few years because ''asexuality is not a real thing''? Gonna show me the door when I tell you to your face that it's me, all or nothing?''
It's acid, dripping off his tone, and so, so defensive.
Gokudera and Bianchi aren't so different when it comes down to it. It's just that Bianchi's poison is physical when she lashes out defensively.
Tsuna's known Gokudera long enough to know that he's rarely angry just because he's angry- there's always an underlying emotion. Uncertainty of position. Fear. Sadness. Self-doubt.
This isn't suddenly appearing out of nowhere either. ''Is that what he did? Your dad, I mean.''
''What do you think?!''
It's silent for a moment.
''That he was wrong.''
''Huh?''
''Your dad. He was wrong. I have a vague idea of what asexuality is, have no idea what being aromantic means, and still, I can tell you this: It's a real thing. Because you're real.''
Gokudera scoffs. ''You guys don't even believe in UMA's.''
''You're not a mythical creature, Gokudera.''
Gokudera swallows audibly.
And then: ''Being aromantic means I don't experience romantic attraction. I… Whatever most people might think, romantic relationships are not per definition the most important.''
''…Hayato,'' a slight pause to let the name fall, ''You know that I'd never leave you behind, right? That even when I manage to break free from the title of future Decimo, I won't leave you, or any of the others?''
There is a strangled sound on the other end, disbelieving and hopeful and desperate, and it tells Tsuna more than enough. He closes his eyes.
He's a coward, and he's awful at talking directly to people at times, but he can't believe that he didn't know Hayato needed this so badly. Because that's him now- Tsuna can't take it back. He's called him by his first name now and obviously should've done so a long time ago.
There's a lot to set right, and he's a great procastinator, but he won't do that with something this important. There are things that make people burn, make them live, and Tsuna's learned some time ago that for him, it's people.
''You're precious to me. And guess what? If you want just want friendship-''
''And family,'' The bomber's voice breaks.
''And family, then it just means we'll get to keep you always.''
''What if they don't understand?''
''Then we'll make them understand. Hayato, you all mean so incredibly much to me, but you've got to understand, I won't abandon any of you. I'm a dragon when it comes to you guys, okay?'' Burying deeper into the blankets, he stares into the darkness and whispers: ''I'm afraid a lot. Everything's scary, and the world's so big, and I don't want to be Decimo, but I do want you. I've never had friends before. And now I've got them, now you took the heart right out of my chest and exchanged it for your own- I'll breathe fire to protect you.
I'll burn the world down if I must. For you.''
And it burns so fiercely in his chest, his his belly, his limbs, his head, his everywhere- and this is his dying will, all he's ever wanted. It was clear from the beginning- Reborn said it himself. Tsuna's no hero, it's much simpler than that. He liked Kyoko, so he wanted to save her. He loves his friends, so the world can go fuck itself if it hurts them.
It's simple, like picking up the phone late at night, because someone you care about is calling.
''Thank you.'' It's small and so, so grateful, and the thought of Gokudera alone in his tiny, shitty apartment on the wrong side of town makes it hard to swallow. Tsuna's sitting up before he knows it.
''Wait up- I'm coming over. I'm not leaving you alone right now.''
He stumbles of the stairs, trying to keep it down so his mother won't wake, puts on his jacket and shivers through it- his pajamas too thin for this cold weather.
No matter.
He's shoving his shoes on when Hayato finally speaks up again.
''Thank you, Tsuna.''
It's three a.m. and that's no time for phone calls, but names can mean the world and his best friend needs him. There's always time for that.