Disclaimer: I do not own Dynasty Warriors in any way or any references off other things. Hello guys decided to make a good ol' comedy based on Dynasty Warrior characters. Recently got the newest version, Dynasty Warriors 8. So awesome. Basically going to be a bunch of random stories all around. This is a completely new style for me so good luck to myself ;) How many derps can you count in these stories? There will be several of these stories by the way. Enjoy!

Story one.

Lu Bu and Diao Chan's first date.

Lu Bu, the Red Hair King. A tyrant. Maybe, but he has true love for a certain someone. A songstress, and a warrior. Perfect. Lu Bu's friend and date adviser happened to be someone a little odd.

"Gosh Bu your armor really is, like, unnecessary for this occasion." Lu Bu's friend, Zhang He, said.

"I know but I don't think I look good in the 'formal wear', It makes me look small." He replies.

"Well, even though your armor derp is a fashion terror I think sausage and bacon will help-"

"What?" Lu Bu interrupts.

"Anyways, let us make your fashion fierce." Zhang He said.

"Okay."

"TO THE MALL!"

"TO CONQUER THE MALL!"

"No you got it wrong Bu, we are shopping, not pillaging." He replied.

"oh..."

The two fashion warriors were on their horses riding to the mall.

"LALALALALALALDERPLALALALALALALALAL !"

"SHUT UP HE!"

"What's wrong Bu, you no like?" The warrior replied.

"You sing horribly!"

Awkward silence...

They make it to this "mall", were guards stood guard derp.

Lu Bu pools out his halberd and start to charge.

"Stop it!"

"What?"

"Charging!"

"I didn't charge!"

"yes you did."

"Nope."

"Let us make this absolutely clear, you, Lu Bu, charged with your halberd."

"Wrong"

"Why are we arguing?"

"We are not arguing."

"Yes we are!"

"No we are not, mate."

"Why are you speaking like that."

"No I am not."

"Makes no sense!"

"I contraire."

"Shut up!"

"Pizza?"

"Ugh"

"To Narnia!" Lu Bu yelled.

"Halt!" a guard launched a spear at him.

"Weapons?" the other asked?
" no..."

"Here guard he has this halberd and I have claws." Zhang He said.

"Else?"

"No..."

" Oh and he has these tonfas and a great sword, and this club, and the rake... and an arm boat...?"

"Okay."

"Darn It I feel like a baby no like all of you warri- Ice cream!" he yelled and started charging.

Slam! A big billboard smashed lu Bu and he fell in water while a bunch of commentators commentate derp on the splash.

"No ice cream Bu."

"Why?"

"Because ?

"Because why?"

"Because Because."

"Because because why?"

"Because because because."

"Because because because because because because derp because derp because because because why?"

"Because because because because because because because because because because because because."

"Shut up!"

"No."

"Yes."

"Noooooo."

"Yessssss."

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NOOOOOOOO!"

"YESSSSSSSSSSSS!"

"What were we talking about?"

"I don't remember." Zhang He replied.

"To the clothing district!"

Meanwhile...

"Okay Bu do you think you look better in a suit, speedos, or a dress?

"Ugh... ummmmm... pancakes?"

"I think we should start with the speedo test, what do you think colour wise : blue, green, red, brown, purple, pink, bananas, sparkling, Arthur Kirkland, or princesses.

"Ummmmmm... princesses."

"Okay."

Lu Bu puts it on in the changing room and comes out with it own. When he comes out peasants laugh at him hysterically.

"Uh Bu maybe no on the speedos in general."

"Okay."

"I think the dresses are to small for you so maybe the suits will work on you?"

"OK"

"Your colour choices are black and white, pink and white, pink and black, purple and white, purple and black, and purple and pink."

"Purple and black."

"OK Bu."

Lu Bu tries on the suit in the changing room and then comes out with angels singing and birds flying. Suddenly right after Lu Xun, Sima Zhou, Sima Shi, Sun Ce, Liu Bei, Cao Cao, and Zhong Hui all have dresses on and they are dancing and singing in manly voices in thwe middle of it and everybody just stares at them in suprised awe.

"That suit is, like, fierce bro.

"Yes maybe she'll like it."

"Yes no we shall go home and you get ready for your date."

"Sure."

The two fashion masters went home and Lu Bu is riding to the fancy dinner place he and his date chose. when he got there he noticed Diao Chan was already there and waiting for him.

"Hello madame."

"Hello Lu Bu."

"What have you in mind fore dinner?" Lu Bu asked.

"Was think the monkey platter of dim sum, sushi, and deep derp fried rocks."

A waiter comes over and takes the couples order and rushes off. Over at the other tables there are some strange guests.

At one table there was 9 men sitting at a table with some strange features going on.

"So guys I think we should a bonk with a side of a bonk from a baseball bat." Said a very important Bostoner, called Scout.

"No I think we derp need some bazookas." Said an American Soldier.

"MMPHMMMMMPH!" Said an inferno, called Pyro.

"Well to mah I leally don't even cale as long as thele is beel." Said a very drunken Demoman.

"I think I need a MEDIC!" said the Heavy.

"I think yall should depend on machines, yall" said an Engineer.

"I sink ve need to shut ze heck up and decide vhat a monkey looks like." said the MEDIC!

"Crikey! that's quite difficult! said the Sniper.

"qell is sink that we should have the vous êtes tous des chefs de merde stupide."

"SPY"

The same thing happens on the other side of the room just one is red and one is blue. They all get into a fight and Lu Bu and Diao Chan get their food and drinks and eat romantically as the people shoot each other in the background of the restaurant.

The End

True Love, a war behind them as they eat.

By the way there was 6 derps if you counted right great!