AN: This was the first fic that I wrote. It is a spoof of Criminal Minds that I wrote and posted on the CBS Message Boards for the show. As a result, there were some inside jokes included that the other members of the message board would understand, but have nothing to do with the actual show. This whole story is meant to be kind of goofy, so don't expect a serious case or anything. Feel free to read and review if you like. Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Criminal Minds.
Beep! Beep! David Rossi opened the door to his in-office microwave and let his eyes behold the ultimate treat. It had it all: chocolate, marshmallows, and an outer shell of graham crackers. Yes, it was a s'more, a.k.a. Rossi's Guilty Pleasure. Rossi wiped the little bit of drool off his face, then reached in and pulled out the snack that he loved so much. He took a seat, propped his feet up on his desk and sniffed in the glorious s'more scent. Then he went to work. Two seconds later (Rossi was already three-fourths of the way done), there was a knock at the door.
"Come in," said Rossi with his mouth full.
Hotch did as he was told, and regretted the decision immediately. What he saw when he entered that office shocked and disturbed him. David Rossi, a great profiler, a man that he had the utmost respect for, had been replaced with some sort of monstrous beast. Rossi sat there, cracker crumbs all over his lap, and that little bit of marshmallow stuck to his goatee. He opened his mouth to talk, but it was filled with chocolate and Hotch had to use all the ninja skills in his arsenal to not become sick (at least until he got back to his own office).
"Morning, Dave," Hotch said with a quizzical look.
"Yo. Need to see me?"
"We have a briefing in the conference room. We've been waiting for you." The quizzical look took a more stern appearance.
"You didn't tell me that."
"Actually, I did. Three minutes ago, to be exact."
Rossi just sort of shrugged that one off.
Hotch rolled his eyes. "I know you're rich and all, but do you have to be such a pig? I mean, look at yourself!"
Once again, Rossi shrugged it off, then took the last bite of his s'more. "I'm thinking about taking some vaca."
"What?" Hotch was shocked, and he couldn't hold back his shock for once. He kind of just stood there, dumb-founded.